


Fragile Hearts

by i_write_shakespeare_not_disney



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 24 year old pidge, After Voltron, Aged Up, Drinking, F/M, Future, Hidge Week 2017, M/M, VLD Ship Positivity Week, Voltron, canonverse, hidge, legal age, no it does not go where you think it does
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 20:37:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 62,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11928798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney/pseuds/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney
Summary: It had been nearly five years since the members of Voltron returned to Earth and went their separate ways. And a leisure tourist walk through the Las Vegas Strip leads Katie Holt to find a piece of her past she thought she'd lost for good. And she doesn't plan on ever letting go again.





	1. Like We Never Lost

**Author's Note:**

> In Vegas, hotels are also casinos and have bars. 
> 
> The Bellagio is a hotel casino with a water show outside in intervals.
> 
> I'm aware the Pirate show closed, but I'm using here so. It's an outdoor performance free for everyone.

Vegas was incredible. Maybe it was just this specific tourist area, but wow, it was amazing. There was so much to see, even in broad daylight. Katie couldn't imagine what it would look like at night. Maybe once Matt came home from work, he'd walk with her through the Vegas Strip so she could see. She'd wanted to visit since she saw _Miss Congeniality 2_ with her college roommate.

Sure, she'd seen other planets and galaxies and had fought in wars with aliens, but Earthly sights were fun to see too. The cold air was similar to that of Massachusetts, so she didn't mind it too much. Besides, she really needed a break from the intensity at MIT. This many tour sites and colors and people were exactly what she needed, especially after last night's nightmare.

God, the nightmares. Katie had woken her roommate several times during the semester already because of them, and while her roommate understood, it was a lot better with Matt around. He knew what she'd seen. He had his own nightmares.

Still, seeing a giant M&M mascot, and miniature replicas of the Statue of Liberty, the Pyramids of Egypt, and the Eiffel Tower was a distraction she was more than grateful for. It was incredible to listen to people speak in Hindu, Chinese, Spanish, and a variety of other languages. She hadn't been able to speak Altean since they'd returned to Earth to lead normal lives. It was the only other language she knew aside from English and a bit of Italian.

The street was crowded with people and Katie was thankful for the distraction. She had earbuds in if only to not seem like an awkward loner as she walked through Vegas... well, alone. She was getting a little too far from Matt's apartment though, and she knew she should turn back. The majority of the people going the other way were across the street, so she stopped and neared the edge of the sidewalk, looking both ways before she stepped off the sidewalk.

That's when she saw it, a little ways further down on the other side of the street. It was a bakery, she assumed. It had bright colors, swirled together in a way that seemed oddly familiar. Unsettling and yet comforting at once. She furrowed her eyebrows and stepped off the curb when she heard a loud, angry honk. She jumped back, gasping as a taxi driver sped past, waving his fist at her. She struggled to catch her breath for a second, vaguely wondering how that guy would've felt if he knew she had helped save his life and that of the entire universe.

She swallowed down her panic and turned the volume of the music up a little more to mute her thoughts. When her heartrate returned to normal, she crossed the street without almost getting run over and started for the bakery.

On display were several, beautiful, irregular-shaped cakes with swirling colors and intricate designs. Some of the cakes were made into spheres, held up some mysterious way that Katie desperately wanted to know. They looked like planets. Planets Katie had visited before. Planet Arus, the Balmera, the Olkarion, the Taujeer. Places Katie hadn't seen in about four years, if not more. Other cakes were built to look like lions. They were all different colors. But Katie noticed there was no black, red, blue, green, or yellow. And there were some normal cakes that were simply decorated with frosting in the most detailed way Katie had ever seen.

She pressed her fingertips against the glass as though it would let her touch the cakes. She looked up at the sign, realizing her eyes were watery from memories of the friends she once had.

_Fale o Liona Bakery_

Katie gulped and ran a hand through her hair, removing her earphones as she walked in. She looked around and saw the expanses of purple hues, light blue, and the hidden colors of the lions that had once formed Voltron. She noticed the cakes had names that sounded Altean and that some seemed to use a form in intricate technology. She couldn't imagine how much these cakes must cost.

As she walked around the bakery, taking in the familiar scent of baked good and sweet frosting, she heard a laugh.

A very familiar, deep, hearty laugh. A laugh she hadn't heard in years. She turned and felt her chest constrict the second she saw him.

_Hunk._

Her goofy teammate in the Garrison, her partner in crime in Voltron, her best friend. The guy she hadn't seen since they'd landed on Earth and gone their separate ways. She stood, frozen in shock as she took him in. He had a light, clean-shaven beard, a chef's coat, and apron tied around his middle, and tattoos that reached 3/4ths of the way down one arm. Very little was visible under the folded sleeves of his white coat. It had two rows of buttons, each painted either red, blue, green, or yellow, and one remained black.

He was still tall, still covered in muscle that came from fighting, training, and war. Hunk had always been big, but he seemed to have grown into it over the last handful of years. He wasn't wearing his headband anymore. Katie figured that's what was wrapped around his wrist on his tattooed arm. Still, his hair fell in the same, messy tufts over his forehead and curled at the ends near his neck.

He was smiling at a customer, using his hands to communicate. Katie walked toward him slowly, wondering if he'd want to see her or if she'd only remind him of the struggles and trauma of war.

She couldn't bring herself to speak, but she stood a few feet away from the counter, everyone else milling about, pointing and complimenting the designs and cakes, while she remained still, staring at her old best friend. The memories began to resurface.

Finding Shiro, finding Keith, the lions, Hunk fixing the space goo, going to the Space Mall, flying Green, losing Shiro and geeking out with Hunk when they were given a technological task. He'd caught on quick with all the time he spent watching her work and talking about nothing and everything.

Then all of a sudden, his eyes were on her. Confused at first, and then a slight glimmer of uncertain recognition flourished. He furrowed his eyebrows and waved someone over to the register without taking his eyes off her.

She wondered if he'd recognize her. She knew she looked different. One side of her head was shaved, the other side had light brown waves of hair that fell in layers just under her ear, and she didn't have her glasses. She wasn't in her usual green jacket and she was a little taller, a little more filled out. She had just turned twenty when she saw him last. She was almost twenty-five now.

But he walked over to her, as always looming over her, his eyes skimming her face frantically.

"Pidge?" he whispered.

It had been so long since she'd heard that name. She let out a small laugh and threw her arms around him. "Hunk!"

"Oh my God. It's you. It's really you!" He hugged her tightly and lifted her off the ground in a bear hug. Those hugs had comforted her and the others so many times before, and she had missed them terribly. Nobody hugged like Hunk.

He let her down and pulled away, one arm at her shoulder, the other barely touching her cheek. She managed a smile, hoping he understood that her tears were fueled by happiness. "It's been so long, big guy," she breathed, her voice breaking slightly.

"I thought I'd never see you again, Pidge." He chuckled and pulled her into another hug. "God, I missed you!" He pulled away and gently pulled her along with him. He led her behind the counter and to the kitchen where a few other people were baking and mixing. "I do the actual designing," he explained when he noticed her fascinated gaze. "It's all Voltron-based. It's kind of how I cope. I create the things in my dreams and memories and... I make them prettier. I make them smaller."

"They're beautiful," she murmured, inspecting a cake with a battle ship depicted. Hunk had been tinkering with it, but she wasn't sure what he wanted to do. "So, you're in Vegas now?" she asked.

"Yeah, I've been here for a few years. Originally, I tried to open a culinary school but I had no certification. So I started this. It was just a few cakes at first, birthday parties for friends. Then it sort of exploded." Katie raised her eyebrows in surprise. "What about you? What have you been doing, what are you doing in Vegas?"

"I'm at MIT. I started going by Katie again. I had to do therapy for a while first, and get my GED before they let me in. Apparently fighting an alien race isn't sufficient excuse for dropping out of school at fourteen." Hunk snorted. "I'm in my last year as a grad student. I'm graduating early thanks to summer classes, but I'm on winter break now. I'm staying with Matt at his apartment."

"How long is your break?"

"About a month," she answered. "Have you... heard from anyone else?"

His expression sobered and he shook his head. "I know what they wanted to do. But I don't know if they're still there." He ran a hand through his hair and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry I called you Pidge. I didn't know you were going by Katie now."

"No, no, no!" she protested. "It's okay! Really. You and the others are the only ones who called me that. I don't mind it. It's just been a while since I was called that." She shrugged.

He smiled and punched her shoulder lightly. "You look good, Pidge. Still working out?"

"Old habits die hard. You look good too. I'm loving the beard," she laughed. He rolled his eyes and smirked. "I also like the ink."

"Oh thanks," he said, pushing his sleeve up. "I incorporated a lion. You know I named this place Castle of Lions." Pidge raised an eyebrow. "It's in Samoan. It just sucks that no one knows about Voltron and everything we did, you know? So I sort of bring it to life here." He took her hand and pulled her over to a line of cakes, his eyes bright. "Oh, and look! Remember when we had to reboot the ion cannon?" Pidge nodded and crouched over to inspect a cake. "Well, I decreased the intensity levels and minimized it, so...." He pressed a button on top of a cake decoration. Small blast appeared on each corner of the cake in pink beams of light. The name on the cake began to glow, the sound of a lion's roar rising from the pastry.

"Holy crap," she said, her eyes wide.

"And I can reset it, look." He tinkered with the blasters and tugged on a decoration, resetting it. The rest of the cake remained intact and unaffected. "That's thanks to you. You taught me a lot. And I sort of put a little into each cake. The physics, the technology, even the names for the cakes."

Pidge smiled at him and crossed her arms. "This is so impressive, Hunk. You should have your own TV show."

He smiled gratefully at her and leaned against the counter, rubbing his face. "God, I just can't believe you're here." She turned to him and smiled wider. Her cheeks hurt, but it had just been so long since she'd seen or heard from her friends and there were so many emotions that came from it. "Hey, I close up in like an hour. Why don't I take you on a tour around here while you wait on Matt? I'd love to say hi to him too."

"Yeah, that sounds great! We've got years to catch up on. Do you mind if I just hang out here meanwhile?"

"Not at all," he smiled. "I'll be right back, I have to go get this cake into someone's car." He gave her a two fingered salute and disappeared past the double doors. Meanwhile, Pidge took the time to look around the kitchen marveling at the designs in the middle of being cut into their designated shapes.

Hunk was taking orders and talking prices and designs while Pidge peeked through the circular window on the doors. The place was packed even as it neared closing time. Once Hunk ushered the remaining people out and closed the doors, he returned to start cleaning up. He threw a rag at Pidge and gestured to the counter. "Come on, Shortstack, make yourself useful."

Pidge stuck her tongue out at him and walked over to wipe off the flour and food coloring that dusted the counters. Hunk was sweeping and cleaning out the oven, going on and on about baking methods. Pidge had missed these talks. He would always talk about cooking and food when she tinkered with gadgets and the castle's systems. It felt nice; it felt familiar.

When they were finally done, Pidge sat on the counter and swung her legs waiting for Hunk to discard his uniform and change into some other clothes in the utility closet. When he came back, he was dressed in a short sleeved shirt and Pidge could see the dark, swirling ink on his arm going up his arm in intricate patterns.

"Did those hurt?" she asked as he pulled on a jacket.

"Nah. Not really. I mean... I guess I've had worse, so it felt like nothing." Pidge nodded in understanding. "Ready to go?" She nodded and hopped off, immediately jumping onto his back like she used to back when they were part of Voltron. And just like before, Hunk didn't even falter. He just chuckled and hefted her up so she could properly hold onto him.

"Where to first, big guy?"

"Have you seen Caesar's Palace yet?" he asked.

"From the outside," she answered. Hunk nodded and walked out, with Pidge latched onto him like a baby Koala. "Do you live nearby?"

"It's about a half hour from here, but it's good business, so... worth it. Cab fare sucks, though." Pidge hummed and looked around. "We could check out the pirate show at Treasure Island! Oh man, they have some of the best margaritas there too. And the Bellagio has this really nice water show along with lights that are insanely pretty at night."

"D'you go to all these places alone?" she asked, feeling a twinge of sadness at the idea.

"Yeah, but it's okay. I mean, it gave me time to think, I guess. Besides, you're here now. And instead being pathetically lost, I can guide you through." Pidge smiled and wrapped her arms a little tighter around him before letting go and patting his shoulder. He acknowledged the sign and stooped a bit so she could hop down.

They fell into step with each other as they walked to the hotel and Pidge managed to snap a few pictures with the Greek statues. She took a few selfies with Hunk and looked at some of the souvenirs. They were crazy expensive though, so she didn't even bother trying to buy anything.

"Oh hey, we should head back to the apartment. Matt should be back soon." Hunk nodded and they hailed a cab to go back to the apartment. Matt was already there, towel drying his hair while he scrolled through his phone.

He looked up when he heard the door, peeking over his glasses and smiled. His face was marred from a Galra attack, and Pidge hated the reminder of what they'd done to him. But Matt always said they were more of a reminder of his brave little sister who never stopped looking for him.

His eyebrows went up, and he had to fix his glasses. "Is that...? Hunk? Holy crap what are you doing here?" he said with a smile, walking over to hug him. Matt had helped a lot in the remaining missions after Pidge had managed to find him. He'd gotten very close to Hunk through his sister and seeing him must have been as wonderful for him as it had been for Pidge.

"I live here, buddy. I didn't know you did too!"

"Hunk runs a bakery on the Strip. I'm surprised you haven't seen it," Pidge said.

Matt blinked in surprise. "Wow. I'm surprised too. Well, it's great to see you man. Katie, have you eaten?"

After being called Pidge for the past few hours, it was a bit of a reality check to be called Katie again. She shook her head and smiled. "We got a snack while we were walking around. Hunk wants us to check out Treasure Island and the Bellagio. We were just waiting on you to get home."

Matt looked between them and smiled kindly. "Why don't you guys go ahead and catch up? I'll join tomorrow. I'm pretty tired anyway."

Katie frowned and furrowed her eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

"Katie, you've got a whole month here. It's okay. I'm kind of in the mood for take out and Netflix, so...." He shrugged and kissed her forehead affectionately. He turned to Hunk and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hunk, big guy, take care of my sister."

Hunk gave him a lopsided smile and glanced at Pidge. "She can do that just fine herself, but I gotcha."

Matt turned and gave his sister a hug before she left. "Be good," he called after her.

"I'm twenty-four, leave me alone," she said waving as she left. He chuckled as the door clicked. She turned to Hunk as they left the building and shrugged. "So what now? We have time to kill."

"Ever gambled?" She furrowed her eyebrows, eyes narrowing into suspicious slits. He laughed, a full, honest sound and nudged her. "Come on, it'll be fun." She shrugged and followed him as he hailed a cab and they arrived at the strip again. He led her to the casino with an Eiffel Tower in the front. Paris Las Vegas.

They went inside and Pidge watched with amusement as Hunk spent his money at slot machines and watched a confusing game of roulette which Hunk seemed to understand just fine. He managed to gain back twenty of the hundred dollars he spent.

"I gotta admit, it was pretty fun watching you lose." Hunk rolled his eyes at her.

"Okay, Miss High and Mighty, why don't you give it a go?" Pidge snorted and sat at the roulette table.

"Reds or blacks?"

She gulped and set forward a few chips of her own. "Blacks."

There was spinning, there was shouting, there was the ping of slot machines. But Pidge focused her thoughts on the familiar pressure of Hunk's hand on her shoulder. It made the anxiety go away. And then suddenly cheering and Hunk had her in a tight, boa-worthy hug. "You did it!" he cheered. Pidge blinked and chuckled.

A half hour later, Pidge was flaunting 800 dollars' worth of chips in Hunk's face. He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Beginner's luck."

She snorted. "Don't be a sore loser. Come on, drinks are on me." They walked over to the bar and Hunk started with a whiskey and coke while Pidge ordered an amaretto sour. "You ever think about the others?" she murmured.

"All the time. I always wondered if you got into school like you wanted. If Keith ever found whatever the hell he was looking for. If Shiro's okay still being up there. If Lance is happy where he's at. If any of them think of me." He shrugged. "There's all these social media outlets, and I tried them if only to find you guys, but... no one had them. And I deleted mine because it just... seemed so stupid, you know? Hearing this stupid discourse over the Kardashians, over Taylor Swift, over the newest American Horror Story season. They're all so small compared to the war we were in that I couldn't stand seeing people so ignorantly obsessed over them, you know?"

Pidge ran her finger over the sugar around her mason jar. "Yeah. That's why I didn't bother keeping my social media around that long either. I think maybe Keith and Lance may have done the same." She bit her lip and tossed back half of her amaretto before taking a breath. "It sucks that those two had to break up. They were good together."

Hunk hummed and used a tiny black straw to swirl his ice. "Yeah. But they both wanted different things. Keith wanted to see the world, and Lance was rooted to Cuba. To his family."

Pidge nodded. "Maybe one day they'll meet up again and-" She brought her hands together and apart in a mock explosion, widening her eyes. "Bam! They'll fall in love again." Hunk chuckled and nodded.

"Well, what about you? Any dating? Boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever back at MIT?" he asked.

She groaned and placed her chin in her hands. "Ha! Nope. For one, I'm a bit older than most people in my classes. Not by a lot, but still. And... you know not everyone understands the traumatic effects of intergalactic war." She sighed and swiped more sugar off with her finger before licking it off. "First boyfriend laughed in my face when I tried to explain. I kicked him out. Literally, just a roundhouse kick and he fell back against the door," she laughed.

Hunk's eyebrows went up and he laughed with her before sobering a bit. "I'm sorry, Pidge." She shrugged and sipped her drink.

"What about you? Do you miss Shay?"

Hunk grimaced and groaned. "I think she's just a big what-if. I knew her for maybe a total of three days while I was up there? Not really long enough for a decent relationship. I wonder sometimes, but... it's not like I'm heartbroken about it." He drank his soda and scrunched his nose at the strength of the liquor. "To being war vets no one knows about," he said, holding up his cup.

Pidge clinked her glass to his and smiled as she finished her drink.

"Hey sweetheart," she heard a low, smooth voice say. She only turned when she felt the hand on her arm. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No thanks," she answered, turning back to Hunk.

"Ah, come on, pretty face like you-"

"I said no," she snapped, turning back to him.

He chuckled and bit his lip. Pidge knew this kind of guy. She'd met plenty at MIT. Guys who thought a smoldering look would have the world wrapped around their fingers, guys who felt the girls they hit on owed them something. He fixed her with dark eyes and a cocky smirk. The worst part was that he was attractive. He didn't look like a creep, and he was young. If he hadn't been such a jackass, he might've been a nice guy.

"Come on. What are you drinking?" She refused to answer, narrowing her eyes at him. "Bartender? Another of whatever she's having on my tab."

Pidge turned to the bartender and let out an angry, strong, " _No._ " The bartender hesitated and moved away to deal with another customer.

The guy scoffed and leaned against the counter. "Look, sweetheart, this hard to get act is fun, but it gets boring real quick. You made your point, now let me get you a drink, yeah?" He tilted her head up by her chin with a condescending smirk and a wink.

Pidge blinked and stared at him in shock. She took a calming breath, stood, sharing a look with Hunk and looked up at the guy who had to be nearly a foot taller than her. Within seconds, she had his arm pinned behind his back and his face slammed into the counter, rattling every drink as she pressed down on the side of his face and twisted his arm a little more. "Ow! What the fuck?" he shrieked, no longer sounding like a smooth talker.

Hunk smirked and shrugged, sipping his drink. "She said no. You should've listened." He winked and the guy seemed to struggle against Pidge's hold. The bartender was staring, the other people along the bar were murmuring, and even onlookers were hesitating, anxious to see what the small woman would do to the tall man she had pinned to a bar counter.

"Leave me alone. I won't be so nice next time," she hissed before releasing him.

He stepped back, stumbling over a stool. "Freak!" He ran off and Pidge rolled her eyes as she sat down.

Two more amaretto sours were placed in front of her. She looked at the bartender in confusion. He smiled in a way that reminded Pidge of Lance for a second. "One's on the house. The other one was bought by the group of ladies over there." Pidge glance over to the end of the table where a trio of girls were giving her a thumbs up.

She chuckled and nodded. "Thanks." She glanced at Hunk who was smiling at her with a proud little smirk. "What?"

"Same old Pidge," he said. He ruffled her hair and she punched him lightly as she laughed.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked as she started on her second drink. He hummed as he finished his first. "Why didn't you try to stand up for me?"

He bit his lip and looked at her seriously. "I know you. I knew you didn't need me, you do just fine fending for yourself. And I know you knew I was here. That if you needed me, you'd ask for it. I'm sorry if it came off as insen-"

"No, don't apologize," she interrupted. She smiled and leaned against her cheek. "I'm a big, tough girl, and I'm glad you know it." He laughed and ordered another drink before Pidge spoke again. "Do you ever miss being part of Voltron?"

Hunk sighed and took a large gulp of his drink. "Sometimes. I miss the nights we'd stay up talking. The space mall. I miss you, Lance, Keith, Shiro, Allura, and Coran. I miss my boy, Yellow. But I don't miss the fighting. The killing. The fear." Pidge nodded in understanding. "Do you?"

She shook her head. "I don't. I miss Green, yeah. But I feel I wouldn't miss the other stuff if we'd just stayed in touch. I went up there looking for one brother and... I gained four more and a crazy uncle." Hunk laughed ran a hand through his hair. "Then... we just sort of drifted apart. I mean I guess I get it. We're all reminders to each other of the things we went through. We all have those scars that remind us of the worst battles. Maybe there's a small part in each of us that wants everything about that life gone. But I also wish we could've started over here, you know? We could've gotten a giant apartment and lived all together."

"We'd have to deal with Lance and Keith screwing like bunny rabbits, though," Hunk pointed out. Pidge laughed and tugged on her light brown hair. "But we'd eat awesome food."

"Rent would be easy. Split with the five of us." She frowned and shut her eyes. "Do you get nightmares?"

"Yeah," he whispered.

"If we stayed together, we would be able to help each other through them. Instead of having roommates look at us like we're nuts."

"Or waking up alone." Pidge looked at him sadly and nodded. "Can you promise me something, Pidge?" She arched an inquisitive eyebrow. "Don't you disappear on me again. I got you back. I don't want to lose track of you again and spend another four or five years wondering if you're okay."

She smiled, feeling her eyes water and placed her hand over his. Her skin seemed paler against his dark, tanned skin. "I promise. If you can promise the same to me." He nodded and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in.

"Want to get out of here? The show should start soon."

She nodded and drank her last amaretto sour quickly. "God I hope that doesn't hit me too fast. I usually drink those slower." Hunk laughed and nudged her along after she paid.

They walked down the street, already coming alive with colors and music and more people. Hunk took her hand to lead her without losing her in the crowd and she struggled to keep up without jogging. Finally they reached a place with two large boats and people dressed as pirates holding on to masts and shouting. People were standing, looking up at the boats and cheering as the show began. "Wait here," Hunk half shouted in her ear. She nodded and hugged herself. Despite the amount of people, it was still cold. Then Hunk was back with two yard glasses filled with frozen margaritas.

"Holy shit, I can smell the tequila from here," she laughed as she took hers. She took a sip and her eyebrows went up. "Wow, that's good. Super strong, but good." She sniffed and looked up at him. "So what's the story here?"

"Just a pirate battle with singing and dancing and cannons," he answered, leaning down so she could hear him. "Can you see?" he teased. She hit his arm and rolled her eyes before sipping her margarita. Somewhere along shouting and swinging from ropes, Pidge felt pleasantly lightheaded and giggly. She felt her limbs loosen and the alcohol let warmth flood her veins, making the cold a little more bearable.

She had to drink her margarita slowly if she didn't want to be a stumbling mess by the end of the show.

"Hunk, I'm cold," she shouted.

Hunk looked over at her, her pale cheeks tinged bright red along with her nose. Her eyes were wide, and she was giving him a lazy smile. He suppressed a smile and leaned down. "You drunk already?"

She shook her head. "No. Getting tipsy though. I'm cold." Hunk chuckled unzipped his jacket, pulling her into it. She was still so small in comparison to him. "Jesus, aren't they freezing?" she hissed as she huddled into the jacket, sipping her margarita.

Hunk looked up at the half dressed pirates as some fell into the water without hesitating. It made him cringe. "They must get paid well." He rested his chin on her head, just barely feeling the difference between the side that was shaved and the side that had light waves falling just below her pierced ear. Pidge jumped slightly at the sound of the canons before erupting into laughter inside his jacket.

She turned around and buried her face in his chest. "Okay, I'm tipsy now." Hunk felt his own slight buzz as well and nodded looking up at the show. "Listen," she said, tugging his jacket. "If I get drunk, don't take me to Matt's. He's never seen me drunk, and I don't care if I am twenty-four I will not let him see me drunk. Kay?"

"M'kay," he agreed, sipping his margarita. "You okay with taking a cab to my place?" She nodded. "Well let's check out the Bellagio before we go. I need you to be a little sober for that."

"Okay!" She zipped his jacket over her and smiled goofily up at Hunk. "Let's go!"

Hunk snorted and struggled to walk away from the performance with Pidge literally zipped up into the same jacket, their feet stubbing over each other's as they laughed down the street. A few people stared or whispered as they looked at them, but neither of them really cared.

It had been too long since either of them were able to be themselves without secrets or hiding. They'd known each other for years, and they'd experienced things that naturally bonded a group, like almost dying. So it didn't matter that people gave them annoyed or confused looks because they were best friends and they were finally together again.

As they reached the sidewalk facing the curved hotel, Pidge waddled them closer to the edge and stood on her toes to look down at the expanse of water.

" _Ooh_ my God, _ducks!_ " she shrieked. "Hunk, there's ducks!"

"If that excited you, wait till the water show starts," he chuckled.

She sipped from her margarita absentmindedly as she looked up at the hotel casino. "Oh, fuck, brain freeze," she gasped. Hunk laughed at her and she frowned up at him before unzipping herself from him and pointing at his yard glass. "Go ahead and chug it. Give yourself a brain freeze!"

"I don't get brain freezes."

"Bull shit," she said, narrowing her eyes. "Come on, man. Chug, chug, chug, chug!" Hunk indulged her and discarded his straw, tipping the last half of his margarita up and squeezing his eyes shut at the bitterness of the tequila and the coldness of the drink. Pidge whooped as he finished and scrunched his entire face up, feeling the beginning of a brain freeze.

"That's gonna hit me real soon," he breath, holding his head.

Pidge giggled and sipped on her margarita which was still a little under half. Then water shot up behind her and she turned, her eyes bright as she looked at the spectacle, lighting up with colors as the water tried to reach the sky. "Oh my God," she breathed. "Oh my God, it's incredible!" she shouted as she started jumping. She looped her arm through Hunk's and smiled out at the view. "I can't believe you live here."

"I still can't believe _you're_ here," he answered. "I feel like if I look away too long, you'll disappear." She frowned and clung to his arm. "It feels nice to have my best friend back." She hummed and they stared in silence as the water and lights performed their elegant dance before Hunk suggested getting a ride back to his place. Once the margarita was done, Pidge was definitely in the early stages of being drunk and she kept talking about different things all at once, but the hum of her constant voice was reassuring and familiar even if Hunk wasn't sure what she was talking about.

So he hailed a cab and managed a conversation that made the ride seem way shorter than it was. She held onto him to remain steady as they went up two flights of stairs and down the hall to Hunk's apartment. As soon as they walked in, Pidge began inspecting each little thing.

It wasn't much. Hunk kept his walls bare for the most part, unable to stand the idea of being rooted here to an unfamiliar place forever. Despite living there for a few years, it never felt like home. Now, with Pidge walking around, it felt like it could be. Like part of his family was back. "Of course the kitchen is stocked," she called. She leaned over the bar area and gave a mischievous smile. "Look what I found," she sing-songed as she waved a bottle of scotch.

"Are you trying to get drunk?" he asked.

She thought for a moment before nodding. "It's been a while since I've been around anyone I trust to be drunk with. But you have to get drunk too. It's no fun getting drunk alone."

"Okay, okay," he said. "But let's make it a drinking game." He turned on his television and opened the Netflix app before reaching Friends. "Because I don't want to get totally trashed right now, this is what we'll do. Take a shot any time you hear one of these phrases or this thing happens."

He grabbed a pen and started writing them down hesitating, pondering and writing again. "You've watched this show a lot haven't you?" Pidge noted.

"Oh yeah." He finished and handed the paper over.

_Oh. My. God._

_How you doin'?_

_Ugly Naked Guy_

_Can you BE any more (enter verb or adjective)_

_Chandler makes an analogy to his shitty past_

_Rachel cries_

_Phoebe sings_

_Monica nags about cleaning_

"We may still get trashed," he said.

"I'm holding you to that," she said, looking over the list as she grabbed two shot glasses from the counter. "Alright, let's do this. Do I have to watch from the beginning?"

"We don't have to. I'm rewatching and I'm on season six." She nodded and sat beside him, bringing her feet up under her while Hunk started the show. She poured the liquor into the shot glasses and asked him to tell her who was who.

He gave her a rundown of each character and their quirk and she nodded, prepared for the drinking game.

Except she wasn't. She totally wasn't. It wasn't long before she was a bubbly, giggling mess, laughing at every little thing on the show while Hunk laughed more out of a need to sleep because each time he got drunk, he just wanted to sleep. Pidge stood and tugged on him, urging him to wake up.

"Hunk. Hunk. C'mon we're playin' a game! Hu-unk!" She lost her grip and fell back erupting into laughter. Hunk stood, wondering if she was okay before bursting into laughter at the sight of her curled on the floor, face red from intoxication and laughter.

"You look like a roach," he snorted. Her eyes widened and she swiped at his legs, missing terribly before falling victim to endless laughter again.

"I can't get up," she snorted.

"Okay, okay, one. Two. Three!" He pulled her up but he lost his footing and she ended toppling over him, rolling over to keep laughing.

"Dude. Your ceiling sparkles," she giggled.

"S'popcorn ceiling. Dunno why it had glitter. My room had glowing stars too." They stared at it for a while. "Why are we on the floor?"

"I dunno," she answered.

"I'm sleepy."

"I'm dizzy."

"You gonna puke?"

"Dunno." He huffed and felt his eyelids get heavy. "Hunk! Wake up! I wanna talk!" she whined, nudging him.

"I'm 'wake!" he gasped as he sat up. "Whoa. Uh-uh. Nope." He grabbed his head and sniffed. "Mkay. Talk. I'm listening."

And he did. For a while at least. Pidge was talking, her words slurred and slow as she rambled about trivial people from college, but still comforting. It was like a drunk lullaby. Hunk wasn't sure when he'd fallen asleep.

But he woke up to his name being called in a hoarse voice. He blinked, surprised to find himself on the couch. The memories of the day before came flooding back along with the sharp pain of a hangover's headache. "Oh, God," he groaned. "Pidge?"

"Hunk. Why. Am. I. On the floor?" she grumbled.

"I don't remember." She sat up and leaned her head against the couch's armrest looking at Hunk. Her hair was a frizzed mess, her eyes puffy with sleep, pale with the sickness of a hangover. "Well you look like a little angel after drinking, don't you?" She glared at him and he chuckled before groaning at the throbbing in his head.

"Oh God, I completely forgot to text Matt that I wouldn't be home. He must be worried sick." She pulled out her phone and frowned when she found it was dead. "Mm. Great."

"Go ahead and charge it with mine. I'll make us food so we can maybe not die."

He stood as Pidge stumbled up after him. "God, can you imagine? Defender of the universe, died of alcohol consumption." He laughed at her and shook his head. She sat on the stool by the mini bar and watched as he started taking out eggs and spam. He stopped for a second to give her water and some aspirin. "Oh thank God. Thank you," she said, taking the medicine gratefully.

She watched him cook, her head on the counter, too tired to talk. He set a plate with her food out for her and sat beside her. "I can't even pinpoint at what point I decided to just pass out," he said.

"You were half asleep since we got here, you lightweight."

" _I'm_ the lightweight?" he asked incredulously. "You were giddy off of three amaretto sours and less than half of that margarita."

"All consumed within a short span of time," she pointed out. "Besides, I wasn't really drunk till that second shot of scotch hit me during our game." She finished her food and pushed her phone towards him. "Number. I'm not losing track of you after today." Hunk smiled and put the number in her phone and saved it. "I should get home. Matt's gonna kill me, even if I am an adult."

Hunk nodded and walked with her to the door. "Hey," he said as she pinned her hair back to tame the frizz. "It really was great to see you again. And I really hope it's not the last time."

"It won't be," she promised. She threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her off the floor as he hugged her. "There's no way I'm losing my best friend again." He smiled and sighed and he hugged her tighter. He didn't want to lose her again either. "I'll text you when I get to Matt's, okay?"

"Okay. Be careful."

She held up her arm in an arch, making her bicep flex. "Come on. You know me." She smiled and waved before disappearing down the hall. Hunk really hoped he would be able to see her again. And that maybe this meant they could be able to find the others too. He missed Lance.

The drive to Matt's seemed excessively long and incredibly awkward. The drive hadn't seemed so bad the day before but it was almost twice the distance this time. When she finally made it back, she opened the door and found her brother watching TV leisurely. "Hey," she said timidly.

"Katie, young lady, where have you been?" he demanded in a stern voice.

"Matt, I'm so-" She faltered when he turned and gave her a shit-eating grin. "Ugh, you jerk."

"How was the walk of shame? Didn't he have the decency to at least bring you home?"

Katie frowned and discarded her jacket before leaning over her brother. "What are you talking about? There was no walk of shame. We went to his place and got drunk watching Friends." He raised an eyebrow. "Matt, it's not like that with Hunk. He's my best friend."

He hummed and shrugged. "If you say so. Still he could've brought you home."

"I'm going to take a shower," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Hungry?"

"No," she called back. "Hunk made breakfast before I came back."

"Well, you sure know how to pick 'em, Katie." She stopped and turned back to her brother who was watching the television with a smirk. 


	2. Don't Let Go

It was all Matt’s fault. That’s what Pidge had decided on, and that’s what she would continue to believe. If Matt hadn’t made all his stupid little comments, then Pidge wouldn’t be reading into everything like she was now. It had been so comfortable at first, and now she felt like she was constantly on her toes, constantly nervous or giddy.

Hunk had come over that first weekend and caught up with Matt, while she got ready for their outing for the day. They wanted to watch a movie at the mall then go bowling at an arcade. Pidge noticed she was putting more effort into how she looked, and she stared at herself in the mirror in disappointment.

This was Hunk. He’d seen her bed head, seen her sick, seen her in PJ’s, and hungover, and beaten and bruised from battle. Then again, most of those had been when she was just a teenager. When she was still growing into herself.

But this was excessive. She hated eyeshadow and lipstick. She could never figure out how to properly shape and shade the eyeshadow, and she always had one lip bow too high or too low, and having glossy, colorful lips just looked weird on her. With a frustrated sigh, she washed her face and too the gunk off her face. Just a bit of eyeliner and mascara with a quick swipe of lip balm. That would be enough.

She brushed through her waves on one side of her head and ruffled it so it was frizzy, but it wasn’t flat against her skull. There. That was more like her.

She left the bathroom, and Matt bumped into her in the hallway. “There you are! Geez, with the time you spent in there, I expected more makeup,” he teased.

But Pidge was not in the mood to be teased. With a blush, she narrowed her eyes and shoved her brother aside. “Oh, fuck off, Matt.” She went to the room he’d leant her and changed into a dark green, long-sleeved shirt and ripped skinny jeans before yanking on her combat boots.

There had been a time when she had been obsessed with dresses. She wore one whenever she could, and she had an array of choices. Colors, and bows, and flower prints, and knee length, and calf length, and meant for summer, or spring, or fall, or winter. But having to give that up to pass for a boy in the Garrison changed that.

Her calves were no longer smooth and soft in dresses, but bulky and scarred. Her arm muscles were large and it made her look bulky in dresses instead of graceful. She still wore them from time to time, but now she just felt more comfortable in jeans and a shirt.

There was a slight knock, then the door opened. Hunk’s was peeking into the room and his eyes fell on Pidge where she sat on the bed. She was suddenly aware of the bra she’d left on the floor and the PJ’s she’d discarded in one corner and her open suitcase.

“Hey, nerd.” Pidge rolled her eyes. “You okay? I heard you snap at Matt.”

She blushed again and shook her head. “Yeah. It’s dumb. I was just kidding.”

The door opened wider and Hunk sat beside her, making the bed dip and making her slide closer to him because of it. She kept her eyes down, pretending to look through her phone. “Pidge, I know you. And there’s a difference in you snapping at someone as a joke, and actually being upset. You’re upset.”

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I’ve changed over the last handful of years.”

Hunk’s brown eyes were steady on her, and Pidge noticed an increase in her heartrate and she hated it. She felt warm and nervous and that was so stupid because this was just Hunk, her best friend, and she’d battled aliens before, so a boy should _not_ be having this effect on her.

He gave her a warm smile and shook his head slightly. “Nah. You can change your hair and your clothes style, but you can’t change what makes you you. And Pidge? You’ve had that difference since I met you.” She furrowed her eyebrows and huffed, pursing her lips. “What is it?”

“It’s stupid,” she muttered, kicking at the floor. “I get that I’m not the girliest girl in the universe, but… I wish it wouldn’t be my thing. If I want to try makeup I don’t want to get teased for it. And I know he was joking, but sometimes, just sometimes, I want to look pretty! Is that such a crime! Or what, since I was a paladin am I not allowed to want to be a normal girl on Earth? It’s like-”

Hunk cupped her face in his hands, and she gasped so loud she nearly choked. Her face warmed up embarrassingly fast, but Hunk didn’t seem to notice. “Pidge, breathe.” She couldn’t. She really, couldn’t. “I don’t think Matt meant to upset you. He probably thought it was a harmless joke that wouldn’t bug you. Yes, you can be as girly or non-girly as you want. Having been a paladin doesn’t define you, it just makes you badass.” She chuckled and managed to get a handle on her breaths. His hands were large, and if she hadn’t known Hunk, she’d have thought his hands were destructive and rough.

But they weren’t. They were soft, gentle, warm, holding her face like she was a prize he didn’t want to mar.

When he pulled away, she blinked away the shock and looked down.

“I’ll talk to him,” he offered. “Now, finish getting ready so we can have a great day and I can get you to try the best cheese and queso appetizer ever.” He held out his fist and Pidge smiled, connecting hers with his lightly. He got up and went to the door. Before he left he turned and smirked. “By the way, as your friend, and someone who has seen you going off of two hours of sleep and five cups of coffee, I can assure you that you’re beautiful no matter what. Makeup or no makeup.” He shut the door and Pidge’s mouth fell open.

Her heart was pounding in her ears and she couldn’t help the smile that began to spread on her face. She fell back on the bed and buried her face into her pillow, letting out a hysterical giggle. She turned back onto her back and bit her lip as she stared at the ceiling.

Okay. So she had a crush on Hunk.

***

The theater Hunk took them to was one of the nicest Pidge had been to. There were red cushioned seats that had buttons to push the backrest back like a recliner and even had the footrest come up. She could be laying down and watching the movie! Plus, they were able to reserve seats so they could sit together. She sat between the two men and sipped on her Icee as the trailers passed. Matt was munching on popcorn and Hunk was eating a severely overpriced hotdog.

Pidge had decided that she would not let herself get nervous anymore. She used to spend nearly all day, every day with Hunk. This was no different. Right?

Still, somewhere along the first thirty minutes of the movie, Pidge found herself leaning closer to Hunk. Hunk seemed to notice and move the armrest up. And though Pidge felt embarrassed, she figured he didn’t find it different from when they used to sit in the lounge and have so-called sleepovers with the other paladins and the Alteans. She always leaned on him. Always ended up falling asleep on him. It was a habit that went unbroken even after about 5 years.

So instead of freaking out, blushing, or reading into it, she simply settled herself against him with her legs curled under her as she watched the movie and munched on Whoppers.

Hunk was so warm and familiar, that it wasn’t long before she felt her eyelids droop despite the action happening on the screen. She liked the movie, and she wanted to know what happened, but she hadn’t slept well that night, and Hunk was so… so warm.

The next thing she knew, Hunk was nudging her awake gently, and she gasped as she sat up, blinking rapidly to erase the sleepiness from her face. “Easy, tiger,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, I feel very confused,” she groaned. “I didn’t expect to fall asleep. What happened? Did the clown die?”

Hunk chuckled and stood up, which was when Pidge realized Matt was gone. “Matt went to the bathroom. I let you sleep until the credits were over.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “If you want, we can come watch it again. And maybe you won’t fall asleep.”

She laughed and followed him down the stairs. “I really doubt Matt would want to watch it again just because I slept through most of it.”

Hunk opened the door for her and shrugged. “Well, maybe he doesn’t have to tag along that time. It can just be us.”

“Oh.” She walked out and chewed on the inside of her cheek. “That sounds fun. If you don’t mind rewatching.”

“As long as- well, as long as you don’t fall asleep next time.” Pidge chuckled and nodded, staring at the floor.

Did he ask her on a date? Or was that just him being nice? Hunk was very nice. But… it could be like a date? How would she know? What if it’s not and she thinks it is? Or it is, and she thinks it’s not? Oh, man she hated how complicated this was.

Matt ended up regrouping with them near the entrance and smirked at Pidge. She gave him a warning glare before they piled into Hunk’s car to get to the arcade. As she sat in the back, she felt her phone buzz. She opened an image text from Matt and frowned as she clicked it.

An image of Hunk on his phone while Pidge laid against him, head dipped and arm hooked with his glared her in the face and she squeaked as she put her phone down.

“You okay?” Hunk asked, looking at her through the rearview mirror.

“Uh-huh. Just a hiccup.” She sighed and leaned against the window, ignoring Matt who she knew had a smug look on his face.

Once they arrived at the arcade and changed into the proper bowling shoes, Pidge went to check the bowling balls. One of the workers steered her toward the lighter ones, which Pidge tried not to feel offended by. Most people didn’t know she was stronger than she looked.

Hunk set up the game and ordered some chips and queso, mozzarella sticks, and a round of sodas. Pidge was up first for their game and she took a breath as she went up. It was simple. Just roll the ball. The right angle, the right force, and she could get them all.

She pulled her arm back and rolled, frustrated when the ball rolled too quickly and off to one side, knocking over only one pin. She grunted and went to pick up Matt’s ball which was a little heavier than hers.

“Need some help?” Hunk asked as she focused in on the pins.

She shook her head stubbornly and felt the weight of the ball to have an idea of how much force she’d have to use for it to get a better speed and maybe not roll away. “I can figure this out. It’s just physics, right?” She pulled her hand back and rolled again, this time hitting a few more pins, but not quite the one she wanted. She growled, but returned to her seat.

“What’s with the face?” Matt asked.

“Classic Pidge-Face.” She raised an eyebrow and looked over at Hunk who was holding his own bowling ball. “She used to make that face any time she was trying to figure something out. If she was trying to reboot a druid, or enlarge the barrier, or just figure out an equation.”

“I have a classic face?” she asked, crossing her arms. Hunk laughed and turned away so she looked at Matt in confusion. But was just sipping on his soda, smirking. “Shut up,” she hissed, kicking his foot. “Stop it.”

“Okay, okay. It’s just…. Heh. Really adorable.”

“I’m going to strangle you in your sleep.”

Matt snorted, but before he could answer, they were interrupted by the celebratory beeping and congratulatory, robotic message on the scoreboard screen. Hunk had managed to score a spare. Pidge scoffed and stared at him as he walked back.

“What?” he chuckled. “I offered to teach you!”

Pidge stuffed a mozzarella stick in her mouth and grumbled. She _would_ figure this out. It was juvenile, she knew, but she had to. For the sake of her pride.

Matt was next, and he managed to knock down all but one.

The three of them took turns for another three rounds, each time with Pidge cursing the bowling pins much to both Hunk and Matt’s amusement. In between turns, they stuffed their faces and poked fun at each other when they failed to knock the pins down. Pidge stayed off to the side when it was Hunk’s turn. He’d managed the best throws each time, and she knew she had to figure out how the hell he did it if she was going to finally knock every pin down. He raised an eyebrow at her and she waved her hand, encouraging him to continue.

She watched as he rolled and tried to figure out what she was missing. She had the foot placement. She _knew_ she had the strength. Hunk prepared for his next roll and that’s when she saw it. The wrist! Hunk made a point to keep his wrist straight, whereas Pidge knew she tended to flick hers off to one side.

Now she was anxious for her turn and she couldn’t help her giddiness as she waited on Matt. Hunk kept glancing at her, and Pidge knew she was making a fool of herself getting so worked up over bowling, but she couldn’t help it.

When her turn was up, she took a breath and narrowed her focus. She pinpointed the pins she needed to hit, decided on the angle, and drew her arm back. She let the ball go, making sure to keep her arm straight. It felt like time had slowed just to tease her.

And then all the pins were crumbling down and there was beeping and robotic voices, but Pidge was already jumping up and down victoriously. She turned, and jumped up high enough to hug Hunk tightly, still laughing joyously. He made a small noise of surprise before hugging her and lifting her off the ground.

She realized what she’d done and managed to let go before turning to Matt to hug him and give herself a moment to let her blush recede. She put a hand her hip and smiled. “Told you I could figure it out.”

“Oh, I had no doubt,” Hunk said with a smile. “Nerd.”

“Um, as far as I was aware, all three of us were the nerds,” Matt said, munching on a chip.

“Yeah, but Pidge is the biggest nerd of us all.”

She stuck her tongue out at Hunk and crossed her arms. “You’re just mad that I got a strike before you.”

He raised an eyebrow and gave her a smirk that honestly made her stomach flip. “Don’t get too cocky. Look at the scores.”

She frowned and turned to see the different scores. Matt was losing. But Hunk was still winning. “ _God damn it!”_

***

Later that night they returned to Matt’s apartment. Matt fell asleep on the couch in the middle of a movie and Pidge made some coffee to compliment the cookies Hunk decided to make for them while they sat at the small, square dining table. Pidge was in her PJs, plaid pants and a large shirt, and she’d washed her face so she felt a little more awake than she should’ve felt at nearly one in the morning.

“What are you doing on Christmas?” Hunk asked. Pidge had completely forgotten about Christmas. She shrugged and sipped her coffee, breaking one of the buttery cookies in half. “What about New Year’s?”

“I actually forgot those existed,” she admitted. “I sort of stopped celebrating them…. After spending the holidays in our way on the castle ship, being back and away from everyone… Having it be just me and Matt….”

Hunk furrowed his eyebrows. “What about your parents?”

Pidge swallowed and sighed. “Dad was really weak after the working camp we found him in. He’d been in a coma for a year and then he passed away. My mom got really depressed, stopped eating, wouldn’t take her meds, and… she sort of withered away to nothing too. All I have is Matt. So the holidays aren’t really my favorite time. Matt and I usually just watch movies and eat take-out all day. And for New Year’s, we open some wine and toast to surviving. And that’s that.” She shrugged and poked at some crumbs on the table with her finger. “It’s not the same as it was on the ship. With Lance waking everyone up because we had to have our Christmas. Or the time we made the lions shoot fireworks.”

Hunk laughed softly. “I remember that. Then we got attacked and had to fend off the Galra ship with fireworks.” Pidge smiled and nodded. “Remember when Keith and Lance had their first New Year’s as a couple? They did the whole kiss and then no one could find them till the next morning.” She nodded. “I know where they were.”

“Where?”

Hunk leaned forward and whispered. “They were doing it in the red lion.”

“ _No!_ ” Hunk laughed and nodded. “Oh my God, those things were sentient!” She shook her head and smiled. “Remember when Keith got his first Christmas presents?”

“I had never seen him cry before and it freaked me out a little bit,” Hunk said with a nod. “I remember the first Christmas we had with Matt there. He hooked us up with a holograph TV and weird alien movies.”

Pidge smiled and chewed on more cookies as she thought back. “Those were good times. You always made a huge feast, and… it felt like home for a bit. Especially with Lance singing Christmas songs and teaching them to Coran. It felt like we were a family when we couldn’t be with ours.”

She didn’t say much else, but she figured she’d said enough. If she was honest, she hated the holidays. It made her feel lonely. It reminded her of both the blood and team-based families she’d lost. It made her nostalgic for a time that had left her traumatized if only for those moments where they came together.

Hunk scooted his chair toward her and tilted her chin up to him. “Hey. Don’t cry.”

She blinked in surprise and realized a few tears had spilled over as she reminisced. “Shit. Sorry.”

He smiled and brushed away her tear with his thumb. “You don’t have to apologize.”

She nodded and murmured, “I miss them.” And just like that, she was crying more profusely, with Hunk hugging her tightly if even slightly uncomfortably in their positions. She leaned into him, hiding her face in his chest as she cried. She knew Hunk knew the statement was ambiguous. She missed her mom and dad who wouldn’t get to see her graduate next spring. She missed Keith and Lance and Shiro and Allura and Coran who had given her the family she’d never expected. She missed those days when she was still a kid and had more possibilities set out for her. She missed a time when she wasn’t traumatized, didn’t suffer through nights filled with nightmares, days filled with loneliness and being ostracized for who she was.

“Me too,” he whispered.

 

 

Hunk spent the night. He slept on the couch and Matt managed to shuffle to his bed. Pidge tossed and turned for a while before falling into a fitful sleep full of dreams of lost friends and family. But no nightmares. At this point, she wasn’t sure there was much of a difference.

 

A few days later it was Christmas Eve and Pidge had spent her day at a park. Matt was putting in some extra hours, and Hunk was busier than ever at his bakery because everyone wanted cakes for Christmas. It was chilly and Pidge spent her time starting on some readings for her spring classes. She stayed there until Matt passed by to pick her up.

“Are you in sweats? In public?”

She looked down at her sweatpants and shrugged. “It’s not like anyone here is going to see me again in another three weeks.”

He sighed and took a detour turn. “Oh, sister dearest.”

“Where are we going?”

“To a clothing store! Hopefully we’ll find one that open right now.”

“What? No! Matt, I don’t have the money for shopping right now, come on-”

“It’s on me. Merry Christmas.” She tried to protest again, but Matt turned up the radio and shouted, “I love this song!” She rolled her eyes and sat back.

She texted Hunk to ignore her brother’s obnoxious singing. _How’s the shop?_

_Really busy. I’m in for a long night._

_Yikes! At least it’s something you love doing. I’ll stop distracting you._

She put her phone away and gave Matt a tired look as he stopped at a department store. They got out of the car, and he threw an arm around her shoulders as they walked into Macy’s. “So, red or green dress? What am I saying you’re the green paladin!”

“No, no, no. No dresses. I look bulky in dresses.” Matt tried to protest, but she shook her head. “I am willing to give you free reign, but dresses and heels are out of the question.”

He grumbled and pulled her along into the women’s section, pulling a knitted red sweater that stretched and a green sweater that was looser and had gold trimming. “You gotta look nice for Christmas, Katie.”

“We always sit on the couch watching movies and eating Thai, what are you talking about?”

He shrugged. “What if Hunk comes over? What if we go out to some fancy restaurant tonight? Or tomorrow?” She glared at him for two seconds before snatching the sweaters from him and going to the fitting room. She was happy that he didn’t laugh at her at least.

In the end she opted for the loose green sweater, a pair of black skinny jeans, and she refused to stop wearing her combat boots. Matt added a light gold scarf and smiled. She scoffed and nudged him. “I still don’t know why you and Lance never got along. You’d have had fun going on shopping sprees and hitting on people.”

He chuckled and put the clothes along with a jacket he’d gotten for himself and put it on the conveyor belt. “Well, first it was the whole Allura thing. Then he just didn’t like that I was close to Keith.” He shrugged. “I’m surprised he never kept up with you or Hunk though. I thought you were a group in the Garrison.”

“Yeah, we were. But once we got to Earth, we just kind of… all had to go our own ways without always remembering the fighting and the war. Hunk and Lance once got captured and tortured, so I guess it was even hard for them to stay in touch.” She shuddered as she recalled the event. As Matt paid and walked her back to the car, she began reliving it. Matt and the rebels had been out on a mission. Keith had been with the Blade. Lance and Hunk were supposed to scout an enemy warship and they were found out.

Without Voltron, it was harder to find them quickly. When they had, they were both battered and beaten. It had broken Pidge’s heart to see them both like that. So see the two boys who had always made her laugh look so afraid and empty.

She still remembered how ruthless she’d been in attacking the druids that came after them when the Galra realized their prisoners were freed. So ruthless, she’d broken her wrist and still kept fighting because no one touched her friends, no one had the right to make Lance stop smiling or to make Hunk stop laughing, and no one had the right to hurt them so much they could barely talk.

She felt a hand on her arm and gasped as she was pulled from her memory. Matt looked at her worriedly, glancing back at the road enough to not crash. “You okay, Pidge?”

She nodded and swallowed the renewed anger she felt. “Yeah, I’m good. Thanks.” He nodded and squeezed her arm.

“I’m gonna get some gas. You should go see how the outfit looks altogether.”

“I can do that at home,” she whined.

Matt sighed and leaned over to ruffle her hair. “Pidge, do you ever just do as you’re told?” She raised an eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes. “Humor me, sis. Stop being difficult.” She huffed and took her clothes.

She was certain that Matt was planning something. A sense of dread came over her as she imagined Matt dumping her at a restaurant to coerce her into a date with Hunk. God, she hoped he wasn’t playing matchmaker.

She left the bathroom once she’d changed and marched right up to Matt. “You’d better not be plotting anything.”

“What?”

She crossed her arms in her new warm sweater and huffed. “I just…. Don’t….” She grumbled and leaned against the car. “You’re not trying to set me up with Hunk, are you?”

Matt smiled, but it wasn’t teasing. “You _do_ like him.” It wasn’t even a question. And maybe it was supposed to be weird to talk to your brother about these things while leaning against an old Volkswagen and being surround by the bitter scent of petroleum.

But Matt was all she had. And he never underestimated her. And he was a good brother. She managed a nod and sighed. “I didn’t. At least, I don’t think I did. Then you started making these comments and then I was getting nervous and…. It sucks. Because he’s my best friend and I don’t want something like this to get in the way of that.”

“I don’t think it would. Hunk isn’t that kind of guy. Besides, what makes you think he doesn’t like you back?”

She shrugged and tugged on a strand of her hair. “I dunno. He doesn’t act different. And we’re so used to each other it’s like… you can’t even tell what’s habit and what’s, like, a sign.” She kicked at the ground. “I just got him back. I don’t want to lose him because I got a stupid crush.”

Matt threw an arm around her and pulled her into a hug. “Well, don’t worry. I’m not trying to set you guys up. But I do approve of him. If that matters.” Pidge laughed and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get home before we reek of car gas.”

They got back in the car and Pidge actually felt better in the sweater because it was warmer and the sleeves were long enough to reach her palms. The jeans also fit like leggings so they were smooth and comfortable. Matt had pretty good taste.

As they got back to the apartment, Pidge could smell an array of foods in the hallway from the neighbors that were preparing Christmas Eve dinner. She wondered if the delivery guy from the takeout place would remember them. They always ordered from the same place, and Pidge swore it was the same delivery guy each time. Matt opened the door as Pidge let her mouth water at the scents in the hallway. It’d been so long since she had ham and turkey and casserole and homemade gravy and pumpkin pie….

“Pidge.” She snapped back to reality, and as she walked in, the scents hit her even harder, giving her a whiplash of nostalgia. She froze as her brain processed Hunk in the kitchen, so familiar with an apron and an oven mitt. Then she processed the several dishes laid out along the counter, the Christmas tree that hadn’t been there earlier that day, and the gifts under it.

She couldn’t find words. She couldn’t even breathe. Part of her wanted to collapse right there and start crying like a child. She stood like a statue, one hand at her mouth, her eyes flitting around taking in the holiday feel of the apartment.

Finally Hunk walked toward her and gave her a timid smile. “Merry Christmas.”

“You said you were busy at the bakery,” she whispered.

He shrugged and tilted his head. “Tiny white lie. I wanted to surprise you.”

She flickered her eyes to her brother and saw him smiling knowingly at her. She looked back at Hunk and broke into a smile as she wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you. So much,” she managed to say past the knot in her throat. Her parents weren’t here. Neither were the Alteans or the other three paladins. But Hunk was. Matt was. And after so long of nothing, this little bit of something was everything.

“Okay, I’m starving, can we eat?” Matt called from the kitchen as he looked around at the different dishes. Hunk laughed and nodded, keeping an arm around Pidge. She’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her blush. “Also, I spent time picking out her outfit, so compliment it.”

Hunk raised his eyebrows and looked at Pidge. “It’s true. He dragged me around the store throwing different clothes at me.”

He laughed heartily, one of Pidge’s favorite sounds. “Well, you look amazing, Pidge.”

“Thank you!” Matt called back. Pidge bit back a smile and noted a slight blush in Hunk’s cheeks too. Was he embarrassed? Nervous? Was Matt onto something when he said he might like her? How the hell was she supposed to figure it out?

Despite her crush on him, sitting to eat dinner felt natural and comfortable. It was filled with laughs, a bit of math as Pidge recounted her classes in MIT, and lots of catch up. After dinner, they sat in the living room and watched Friends, while Pidge and Hunk snickered each time one of those “take a shot” moments came up. Before long, they were struggling to keep their eyes open, and Matt and Pidge went to their rooms. Matt had given Hunk some blankets so he could set up on the couch however he pleased.

It had been a wonderful Christmas Eve.

When Pidge fell asleep, she was used to fitful sleep. She feared deep slumber because that always meant nightmares she struggled to wake from. That night was one of those.

There was a part of her brain that knew this was a nightmare. That knew she wasn’t really in danger. But that part was smothered by the overwhelming fear that came from the sounds of druid steps, ion blasters, and screams. She could hear the sickening squelch and thud of those who’d been blasted and left for dead. She could hear the other paladins screaming to form a defense.

Before Pidge could even think to reach for the green lion’s controls, the setting changed and she was facing Haggar. She knew what was coming, but she couldn’t move. Her body writhed as the witch’s purple magic shocked her and lifted her to throw her against a wall hard enough to make her nauseous. She felt her body contort in impossible ways. She couldn’t breathe. She felt like the walls were closing in. She could feel Haggar’s claws digging into her. She could see her friends being beaten down by the guards. She saw the rebels’ dead bodies strewn on the floor.

It wasn’t until she felt herself fall that she managed to wake up, jerking back in bed. Her cheeks were stained with tears and her hands were shaking. Her breaths shuddered and as she gasped and tried to do what her psychologist told her to do. She took in the feeling of the blankets over her leg, the thin stream of light seeping through the blinds, the sound of the AC blasting through the vents. Slowly, she managed to take steadier breaths and shakily got out of bed. She let the sound of her feet padding over the carpet to keep her grounded as she made her way to the kitchen.

She grabbed a small plastic cup and filled it with sink water.

“Pidge?”

She gasped and the cup fell into the sink, splashing her. “Sh-shit!” She put a hand to her head and took a breath.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned to look at Hunk. She’d forgotten he spent the night. He looked in her eyes with furrowed eyebrows and used his thumbs to wipe her cheeks. She didn’t have the energy to blush. She just shut her eyes and fought back more tears. “They’re not real anymore. We’re safe,” he said, hugging her tightly. “God, you’re shaking. Come on.” He refilled her water and walked with her to the couch, helping her keep her hands steady.

He didn’t ask her what she dreamt. He didn’t ask if she wanted to talk about it. He knew that the last thing she needed was to relive it.

When she finished her water, she set the cup down and curled up beside like she used to after a long battle. Coran would have a batch of space hot chocolate, Keith and Lance would inspect each other’s injuries then remain with their arms wrapped around one another until they went to bed. Shiro and Allura would stay and make sure they were okay. Pidge always curled up beside Hunk, tinkering with something to keep her mind and hands busy.

“It’s funny how we’ve had so much time apart and we’re still so used to each other.” Hunk chuckled and laid back, scooting to give Pidge her own space. She almost denied, not wanting to take up any room on the already small couch. But Hunk was already laying her down and an arm over her stomach.

Pidge felt safe.

She had come to hate what was known as cuddling thanks to college. Boys always laid their hands so they rested on her butt, or so they rested just over the edge of her jeans, fingers teasing to slip under until Pidge moved away. Or they’d lay their arm over her waist, so when bent at the elbow, their hands touched her breast. And Pidge hated it. Because she was more than her body parts. And she didn’t need any of that. She didn’t need them. None of those boys had been worth her time, and none of them saw her for who she was. Smart. Strong. Brave. A fighter. Someone to be respected.

Hunk wasn’t like them. Hunk’s arm draped over her waist and his hand hung over the couch cushion. His other hand served as a pillow for her, bent at the elbow to reach her longer hair and play with the ends.

“Hunk,” she whispered. He hummed. “What do you want for Christmas?”

“What?” he chuckled. She turned and looked up at him. His remained pressed to the middle of her back to keep her from falling.

“I mean, what do you want for Christmas? I didn’t get a chance to get you anything. And you did all of this….”

Hunk smiled and shut his eyes. “You don’t have to get me anything. Just don’t disappear again.”

Pidge looked at him and couldn’t help but smile. Her hand rested over his tattooed arm, and she gripped his forearm. “I promise I won’t.” His beard tickled her nose and she sighed as his warmth calmed her. Again, she wondered if something more was possible with him. She’d have to catch more moments. Analyze his behavior and their interactions.

She wanted to figure out what this was, what was happening before he left. With that in mind, she fell asleep.

 

A loud slam woke her up, and it took her a moment to realize why there were arms tightening around her.

“Well, well, well. What’s this?” Matt said looking down at the couch. Pidge’s face turned bright red and she sat up, covering her eyes by pretending to rub them tiredly. “Hunk, I thought you’d have known you have to ask for my sister’s hand before-”

“ _Oh my God, Matt, stop,_ ” Pidge nearly shrieked. “I-I’m going to change.” She stood up, rubbing her temples and hurrying to her room.

“Merry Christmas!” Matt called after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEND ME ANY FANART OR EDITS TO MY TUMBLR!!! @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney  
> Also, remember you can also commission me!!
> 
> Also warning, there is a nightmare scene that very lightly describes violence. Remember these guys were basically soldiers. They have PTSD. Also, I read every comment, so please, please, please leave me one!!!! <3


	3. I Want Your Midnights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so to start:
> 
> The last chapter was missing about half! So be sure to go back and check that out. 
> 
> Second: A TRIGGER WARNING- dubious consent/ implied assault (in the past and NOT between hidge).
> 
> You should know that I was debating this chapter and where it went for a while before deciding to go ahead and keep it as it was. I actually had to get my guy friend's input on it.
> 
> I've always said that I wanted to write reality. I've always wanted to write stories that incorporate the real world, not just some fantasy life. I believe that the things we are shielded from in literature, those things that place banned books on a list together, are all things that need to be talked about. So I'm hoping that you all as reader can understand that too. 
> 
> Please feel free to stop reading if it gets uncomfortable. I promise the chapter after will pick up just fine. But if you are willing to read it, please understand why I write what I write. These things happen. And they aren't talked about. In a sense, I was also sort of imposing my experiences on these characters. Writing is therapeutic for me and I tend to do so often before I realize it. 
> 
> I've sort of hinted at it with Pidge in previous chapters, but this one explains a little further. There is no explicit detail, I know I may be making it out to seem like a scene from The Kite Runner or something, but no. I just know that a lot of people tend to get offended if not warned about the slightest possible trigger so I'm trying to take precautions. 
> 
> I hope you all continue to read and watch this love story develop! Remember you can message me at my tumblr @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!

These butterflies were not welcome. Not in the slightest. They made everything so complicated. And it wasn’t a simple fluttering or even a swarm. It was a fucking tsunami of butterflies every single time she knew Hunk was coming around and every single time as he left.

It was strange though. As soon as Hunk was there with her, as soon as he hugged her and started conversation, they went away. And Pidge felt so comfortable, hours could pass without her realizing just by joking and talking and catching up. It was like her butterflies were sedated by his presence. She was thankful because said sedation kept her from acting weird around him. Hunk knew her too well, and he would easily pick up on her acting different around him.

He stopped by the apartment every day after work to say hi to her and Matt. And he’d stay to talk into the late hours of the night. Typically, Matt would end up excusing himself to sleep, leaving Pidge and Hunk to talk and laugh.

They had a habit of always reverting to food. Somehow, each conversation would veer off until Pidge was asking Hunk about his baking and cooking. And each time, Pidge found herself smiling at the light that came into Hunk’s eyes when he talked about it. Whether it was about umami and how he had to get ingredients to react together just right for that special taste, or if it was about the serenity of icing cakes, or the excitement each time a customer freaked out over the intricateness of their cake. It didn’t matter. Hunk would light up and ramble, and Pidge could feel herself falling a little more for him with each word.

One night, Pidge joined him at his apartment to enjoy a few drinks. She didn’t like drinking around Matt, partially because she always felt like she was still 15 in his eyes. But he would also always be just an 18 year-old in hers. Besides, it was a big day! Hunk had gotten booked for cakes for the entire month of January and it was New Year’s Eve!

New Year’s Day was a Monday, so Matt had taken a single shot of whiskey and gone to bed.

Meanwhile, Pidge was still on vacation and Hunk had closed the bakery for tomorrow. They were just fine sitting in his apartment drinking cheap champagne out of the bottle as they watched fireworks through the window.

“Any resolutions, Pidge?” he asked.

“To graduate. Get a job.” She looked over at him and passed him the bottle. “You?”

He tipped the bottle back and sighed. “I don’t know. Every year since we got back, I tell myself I’m gonna find the others. Just to know they’re okay. But I can never bring myself to.”

She frowned and hoisted herself up to sit on the window ledge. “Why not?”

“Because we all lost contact for a reason, right? We remind each other of… bad times and…. They wouldn’t want to see me. Lance was my best friend, and if he hasn’t reached out to me, it’s because he doesn’t want me reaching out to him. We’re our own reminders of war, Pidge.” She looked down at her hands and furrowed her eyebrows. “Shit. I didn’t mean…. You’re not….”

“It’s okay,” she said offering him a smile. “I get it.”

“No,” he insisted, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The champagne is making my words come out funny. It’s just….” He took a breath and looked at Pidge. “I’m happy I saw you again. I don’t want you to disappear, even though I know you’re okay. I miss Lance and Keith and Shiro, but I’m scared they won’t want to see me. Yeah, we all needed distance at first; we’re all we had on the castle for like four years. But now I just want things back to how they used to be.”

She smiled and leaned her head back. “You mean, me posing as a guy and Lance and Keith competing in everything?” He laughed and shook his head. “Yeah I get it. When I saw you at the bakery, I kind of panicked. I wondered if seeing me would upset you.”

“I wondered that too. If I’d upset you, or if I’d get upset unconsciously. But honestly, all I’ve felt since I saw you again has been relief.” She smiled at him, the blush in her cheeks not only from the alcohol buzzing happily in her brain, but from the closeness and the quiet words. “I’m so happy you’re back in my life, Katie Holt.”

She turned away, unable to contain her smile. “You’re getting sappy, Garrett.” She hopped off the windowsill and took his hand. “Come on. Now isn’t the time for gloom. We’re gonna get trashed and we’re gonna reign in the new year smiling!”

He laughed and followed her to the kitchen where they poured themselves another drink. And then another. And another. Hunk turned on some music and cleared the living room where they stumbled around, claiming to dance, laughing so hard their stomachs hurt.

Pidge felt warm and her face was probably hurting from smiling so much, but she couldn’t feel it. She’d opened the window and the apartment was so cold, her fingers were numb. She and Hunk kept slurring words, laughing at each other dancing clumsily around the living room. Suddenly fireworks went off one after another, screams and squeals of delight rising up to the apartment window.

“What time’s it?” Pidge asked, dragging herself to the couch as she recovered from a laughing fit. “M’God, _Hu-unk!_ ” He hummed and plopped down beside her. “We missed the coun’dow,’” she whined.

“We can make our own,” he said. “Okay, okay. Ready? Ten! Nine! Eight!” Pidge laughed and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He blinked rapidly and chuckled softly. “You’re s’posed to wait till zero.”

“Oh. Whoops.” He chuckled and looked at her, unfocused eyes and breath that smelled sweet from the Disaronno liquor. “Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year, Pidge.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek, and suddenly every cold, numb feeling went away and her entire body was alive with warmth and joy. She bit her lip to contain her smile, glancing at him.

He was so close. His dark skin lighting up with the fireworks outside, the steady beat of whatever song was playing from the television. She could just lean forward and give in and blame it on being drunk.

If it weren’t for the sudden lurch of her stomach.

She took a breath and swallowed hard. “Gotta use the bathroom,” she mumbled, standing unsteadily as she walked to the bathroom. He followed behind her, asking if she was okay, but she didn’t trust herself to talk.

The good thing about being drunk is that you’re never really too aware of the moment you throw up. Pidge always hated being sick, but it wasn’t so terrible when she was drunk. It just sort of happened until she was… sort of done.

She was vaguely aware of a hand at her back, vaguely realized she should be embarrassed.

She flushed the toilet, cleaned her mouth, and looked back at Hunk with a smile. “I think I drank too much.”

Hunk smiled and shook his head, his arm wrapped around her middle as he pulled her back against him. He ran his fingers through the waves of hair on one side as she sighed. For a moment it was just them, sleepy and drunk on the bathroom floor.

“’M cold an’ tired,” she whispered.

“You should rest. I’ll sleep on-” he hiccupped, “couch.”

She shook her head and tilted her head back. “No. You’re warm. Stay with me.”

“Mkay.”

It took a while before they both stood and made their way to Hunk’s room to sleep. He lent her a pair of basketball short and a shirt that she changed into before crawling under the covers and promptly falling asleep.

***

When Pidge woke up, the room was cold and unfamiliar. She turned over, groaning at the throbbing in her head, the disgusting taste in her mouth, and burn in her stomach. She kicked her feet, seeking comfort until her leg brushed against someone’s much warmer leg. She turned and saw Hunk sleeping on his stomach, turned away from her.

For a second, she panicked.

Had they done anything the night before? Had she said something stupid?

But then again, this was Hunk. She could trust him with her life. And she didn’t feel any different from a normal mediocre hangover. She was fully clothed… in his clothes, which were very comfortable. Everything was fine.

She nudged him and grumbled, turning his head. “Hunk, wake up,” she prodded, her voice hoarse.

He groaned and blinked, adjusting to the light in the room. “Whoa. Uh, morning,” he said with a light blush on his cheeks.

“Why is your room so cold?”

“I know I had the heater on yesterday. I dunno.” She shivered and curled into a fetal position. “You okay?”

“Hangover aside, yeah. Just cold.” She heard the chiming bells of her ringtone as a call came in. “Shit. Where’s my phone? Where are my pants?”

“ _What?”_ She got up and heard his sigh of relief. “Oh my God, okay. Okay. I need food.”

He stood as she searched the bathroom for her clothes, cursing the cold as she shivered. A hangover was bad enough, and shivering from the cold wasn’t helping. When she found her phone, she answered and looked herself in the mirror, cringing at the way her hair stuck up in odd places, tangling itself.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, Pidge,” Matt chuckled. “You sound like shit.”

“Thanks, asshole.”

“Do I want to know what happened last night over there?”

Pidge huffed and ran her hand through her hair, trying to fix it. God, Hunk woke up to see her like this? “Nothing.”

“So you’re not hungover?” She cringed at the prospect of Matt knowing that. “Just tell me this isn’t the beginning of you two dating, because I promise my speech at the wedding will begin with, ‘So they got drunk on New Year’s and that’s what bring you all here!’”

“Oh my _God._ Matt!” He laughed, and she sat on the toilet seat cover. “No, nothing happened. I’ll be home in a bit, okay?”

“Drink water, eat food. I’ll be at work though, so I wanted to call.”

“Will do. And okay, I’ll probably just sleep until you get back then. Happy New Year’s, Matt. Love you.”

“Love you too, Pidge.”

She hung up and sighed before going to the sink to at least wash her mouth with mouthwash. She walked out, feeling embarrassed and gross and weird. She hugged her body and followed the scent of food to the kitchen.

“I found the reason the place was so cold. I think we opened the window at some point and forgot to close it,” Hunk said. She chuckled and sat down, watching him move expertly around the kitchen. Suddenly, he turned and leaned onto the counter to face her. His face was surprisingly red despite his dark skin. “Did I trespass at all? I just… I feel like there’s something I should apologize for, and I can’t remember much from yesterday and-”

Pidge laughed and threw a rage at his face to shut him up. “Relax Hunk. As far as I remember you were an absolute gentleman.” She blushed and looked down. “And if you’re asking what I think you’re asking, no I don’t think that happened. I… feel the same. And I’m pretty sure I’d feel different.”

“You haven’t…?”

She shook her head. “My dating life hasn’t been the best, dude. I don’t like the idea of sleeping around for fun. Not… for my first time.” She cleared her throat then glanced at him. “H-have you?”

He nodded and looked away again. “I was… in a bad place the first time. I had a girlfriend and she was a little… pushy? Manipulative?”

“A bitch,” Pidge supplied in a clipped tone.

Hunk just chuckled. “Yeah, that’s another way to put it. I don’t know. I was lonely. I didn’t want to let her go. It didn’t last though. Maybe a month max?” He shrugged. “After that it was a blind date my coworker set me up with. I wasn’t really into it, I didn’t know her much. Took weeks for me to feel like myself. That’s why… I just wanted to know I hadn’t fucked up again.”

Pidge took a shaking breath and bit her lip. Hunk’s back was to her, but she looked at him anyway. “Well, you didn’t. I promise.” She couldn’t help the way her heart sank, though. The idea of Hunk with other girls…. None of them would know him as well as she did. “I thought you said you hadn’t dated.”

“Mm, no. You asked about Shay. Not about anyone else.”

She hummed and messed with the hem of the oversized shirt she was wearing. She began to wonder if there would ever be a day when she and Hunk would be more than this. Best friends that got drunk together. It wasn’t horrible, but… Pidge really wanted more.

She wanted those things she’d seen in movies. The dates, the flowers, the period mixtape- she saw that movie once, and that one gift stuck with her since- the handholding, the gentle kisses, the dancing in the living room in the middle of the night. Her roommate told her to stop listening to Taylor Swift each time another boy proved to be an absolute idiot, but Pidge couldn’t help it. The music was catchy.

More specifically, she found herself wanting those things with Hunk. Because there was no one else she felt _this_ comfortable around. No one else she felt she could be her absolute self with. Who better to understand the nightmares, the memories, to listen to her go on and on about engineering and technology and inventions, to see her as more than a girl and her body parts?

“You okay?” She blinked and refocused.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, this headache is driving me nuts. Plus I think I just remembered I threw up last night.” She grimaced as she tried to piece together fragments of memory. There had definitely been a bathroom involved.

Hunk’s eyebrows went up and for some reason, his cheeks reddened. “Okay, I actually remember that now. You actually laughed it off.” Pidge grimaced and hid her face in her hands. “Here, this’ll make you feel better,” he said. He gave her a rectangle with Spam and rice wrapped in seaweed. “Masubi. Quick and easy to make. Excellent for hangovers.”

“Thank you, you are a saint.” She bit into it and before she knew it, the food was gone. It was small, but still even Hunk was smirking at her. “I was hungry,” she muttered.

Hunk was happy to continue supplying masubi for them both as they regained their strength.

“So what are you doing today?”

“Nothing, I don’t think. Matt’s working, so I’ll probably just relax at home.”

“You know, we still have that movie to go watch. I don’t know if it’s still in theaters, but… we could check?” Pidge raised an eyebrow and allowed herself a smile. “You up for it?”

“Definitely.”

\--

What the hell was a date? Pidge looked it up in the car. The word was defined as a social or romantic appointment or engagement. So… it _was_ a date. But what kind of date? Romantic or social? And why was not knowing making Pidge sweat more than usual?

She just really wished she could tell what Hunk thought of her. Sure, they’d only met back up recently, but… well they were best friends. Did Hunk still see her as the fifteen-year old who’d passed as a boy? Or did he see her as a little sister? Was she too much like one of the guys? He’d called her beautiful, hadn’t he? Or was it pretty? They were different. They had different connotations, so it mattered. God, and she’d woken up in his bed that morning.

“What’s chewing at you over there?”

Pidge took a sharp breath and chuckled. “Nothing. Sorry.” Hunk looked over at her and frowned.

He didn’t say much aside from that as they drove and Pidge tried not to berate herself for being so awkward. Of course it wasn’t a fucking romantic date. She was wearing the same jeans from the day before and one of Hunk’s button ups with most of it tucked into her waist. She was still gulping down water to replenish that which she’d lost the night before. And now she was just making it weird.

Things felt somewhat okay once they were in the theater, hands shoving the other’s out of the way for better access to popcorn as they tried not to giggle too loudly, each with an Icee and a shared box of Whopper chocolates. The movie they’d gone to see wasn’t in theaters anymore, so they’d decided to watch the newest Star Wars. Even though she’d never seen any of the other Star Wars movies, Pidge didn’t have a problem staying up this time.

When the movie ended, they talked about the realities of space wars versus that which Hollywood had created. That was most of the ride until Hunk had taken her to get food at Chick-Fil-A. They ate in the parking lot inside the car with the radio on, talking about what they looked forward to that year.

“It’s funny. Last year, I think I just binged a Netflix show New Year’s day,” Hunk said. “I never expected that I’d be spending the day with you just a year later.”

She smiled and shrugged. “Who knows, maybe by next year, we’ll manage to find the others. We could all go to New York. I’ve been wanting to see the Rockefeller tree.” She licked her thumb and forefinger clean before reaching for her lemonade. “I have another break for Easter, but I don’t know if I can afford to come out here again. You and Matt should road trip to see me. Just a suggestion.”

“Suggestion, right.” He smiled and Pidge stuck her tongue out at him. “That’d be fun. Then it’s your turn to be a tour guide.”

She snorted and shook her head. “I barely leave my campus, what makes you think I don’t need a tour guide?”

“Oh my God, Pidge.” She shrugged again and finished her last piece of chicken.

“You know what would go great with the rest of these fries?”

Hunk met her eyes and smiled. “Oh, hell yeah. Let’s do it.” He drove back into the drive thru and ordered an ice cream cone for them both, along with freshly made, large fries. They parked in their same spot and sang along to the radio as they ate their ice cream and watched a light fall of snow outside.

“How much longer are you staying?” Hunk asked.

“I have to be back by the 14th.”

“So we’ve got two weeks to make up for about five lost years.”

“Sounds impossible.” Hunk looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “I accept the challenge.” He broke into a smile and it made the hurricane of butterflies come back full force.

\--

Pidge got back to Matt’s place with enough time to plop onto her bed and mull over the day’s events for about fifteen minutes before she heard the door open and close again.

“Wakey wakey, Pidge!” he called. “You home?”

“He’s had sex,” was the first thing Pidge could think to respond as she stared at her ceiling helplessly.

Matt appeared at her doorway with a confused, slightly disturbed expression. “Okay, it’s gonna be one of those talks. Come on, sis, I’ll make some hot chocolate. With marshmallows, because what are we? Animals?” She managed to scoff out a laugh. Then she let herself slip off the bed and grabbed an extra blanket as she followed Matt to the kitchen. Sure, it was a weird conversation to have, but they were both adults, and… he was all she had. Besides, it wasn’t the first time she’d talked to him about uncomfortable things.

She was the one he went to whenever her heart got broken or her sort-of friends made a passing comment that upset her just because she wasn’t like them. She didn’t have prom, she didn’t get high with friends, she didn’t have her first kiss during a game of spin the bottle. She had training and wars and a family to find. Matt was always there.

“Is that his shirt?”

“Yeah. I didn’t wanna wear the same one from yesterday.”

He nodded. “So what’s going on?” he asked as he stirred the milk.

She burrowed herself with the blanket and rested her head on the table. “We were talking and he mentioned that he’s had sex and I don’t know why but it bothers me. Everything got awkward. And I can’t tell if we went on a date or not.”

Matt sighed and stirred in the chocolate. “Katie, you’re gonna have to explain this from the beginning because I need to know the context behind this.”

She groaned and looked at him as he grabbed two mugs and continued to stir. “Um, okay. So obviously we drank.” Matt nodded. “And we can’t remember much, but when we woke up….” She trailed off uncertain how to continue. It was just so weird to talk to Matt about this because he knew them both. This wasn’t a faceless stranger Pidge was mentioning. It was _Hunk._

He served the chocolate and sat down beside her. “Did you sleep together?” he asked gently. Enough to show he wasn’t teasing, and that he wouldn’t hold it against her either.

“No. No we didn’t, I know that for sure. But I guess he thought maybe we had so he was freaking out. I know we hadn’t because… well I didn’t feel different. Don’t people usually feel it when something happens?”

“I think that depends on a few factors….” It was Matt’s turn to blush. “Okay. So I take it you haven’t done anything with anyone?” She shook her head and hid her face with her drink. “I’d expect you would know the morning after. Especially if it was a drunk thing, not… planned. There’s a lot of… foreplay-”

“Please stop talking.”

“Oh thank God. I’m up for us being open with each other, but I didn’t want to give you The Talk.” Pidge grimaced and waved her hand for him to continue. “Anyway, yeah, in your case, I’d expect you’d have known if anything happened.” He snorted. “Unless he’s just that small.”

“Oh my God.”

“I’m joking! Anyway, then what happened?”

“I just assured him nothing happened, he asked if I’ve ever… you know. And I said no. Then I asked him.”

“And he said yes.”

“He explained.”

“Oh no.”

Pidge nodded and ran a hand through her hair. “He said he was in a bad place the first time. The girl was manipulative or something and he was just really hung up on her. I don’t know how many times or anything. But he said the second was with a stranger and he didn’t really want to, but he went with it and felt bad for a long time.” She sighed. “It bothered me. Knowing that some shitty girls know him that way. They didn’t deserve him.”

“That’s jealousy. Also, maybe the fact that he’s done it at all bothers you because you haven’t. Face it, Pidge. You’re a romantic.” She frowned and stared at Matt in confusion. “You wanted to be his first. First off, those experiences really don’t sound fun or healthy at all. I’m pretty sure those….” His face got solemn. “If he was coerced into those it’s basically abuse.” Pidge’s heart clenched and suddenly her own feeble jealousy didn’t even matter. Matt was right. It was no wonder Hunk seemed so jumpy. “And second, you can’t let the fact that he’s done that already, coerced or not, affect whatever relationship happens or doesn’t happen between you two. You weren’t even around him for those times. For all he knew, you would never come back into his life. People put a lot of pressure on sex meaning something huge, but it doesn’t have to and it doesn’t always mean anything. Don’t be put off by it. And don’t feel like you have to catch up either.”

“I don’t. I guess I just… felt bothered by the fact that he’s done it. But you’re right, it’s not like I was even around. It’s not like he likes me back either. Do you… really think he was forced into it?”

“Pressured mentally or emotionally. Especially if it had the toll he said it did. Hunk’s a good guy, Pidge. And you know that.” She nodded. “I know he’s not the type to sleep around for shits and giggles. He’s not the type to sleep with just anyone. Not that there’s a problem with that, I’m just saying….” She nodded and he nudged her. “So you mentioned a maybe date?”

She bit her lip and told him about the movie and the food and the ice cream in his car. “Like I said, it was a little awkward at first, and really tense. Then it went back to normal. It sounds like a date, but what if it was just a friend thing, you know? Friends go to movies and to eat.” She dipped her finger into her mug to swipe off some leftover chocolate at the bottom.

Matt stretched and nodded. “Yeah. Okay, personally, I think he likes you. And it does sound like a date. I think maybe you both wanted it to be and you’re both freaked out to say it aloud. I don’t know if it’s because you’re scared the other won’t feel the same or if you just don’t want to mess up your friendship after finding each other, but yeah. My philosophy however, is that it’s not a date if it’s not clarified with the other. Saves you from lots of embarrassment.” She huffed and brought her knees up on the chair. “You could always ask him you know?”

“I don’t have much to go off of. I can’t pick up any signs that he likes me.”

Matt snorted and counted off on his fingers. “Okay, let’s see, he’s gotten drunk with you like twice and fed you after it. Didn’t try to feel you up which gives him major points in my book- just saying. He made you an entire Christmas dinner and decorated the place. He’d planned the whole thing out with me. He lets you fall asleep on him in movies, on the couch, apparently at his place too!” Pidge blushed and placed her hands on her cheeks. “He stops by every day after work and stays until nearly three in the morning! Yeah, I can hear you two laughing. And you don’t notice how he looks at you when he first sees you because you’re busy fidgeting and trying to hide your blush.”

“Shut up!” She hid her face completely then peeked through her fingers. “What do you mean?”

He laughed and shook his head. “Oh boy.” He stood and took the mugs to the sink without responding. “You know, I do realize you’re an adult now, Katie. I figured you get drunk and go on dates and do what most people your age do. You don’t have to feel bad if you talk to me about it or try to hide it. Yeah, it’s a little weird to talk about sex with your big brother, believe me I get it. It’s a little unsettling talking about it with my little sister. But we’re all we’ve got. And I’m not going to hold anything against you, ever. I’m here for you no matter what. Okay?” Pidge nodded and stood up with her blanket draped over her. She waddled over to him and wrapped her arms around him. “I love you, Pidge.”

“Love you too, Matt. Thank you.” She stayed there for a moment, hugging her brother, feeling incredibly grateful for him. She didn’t know what she would’ve done if she hadn’t found him. She can never forget that terrible sinking feeling, the hopelessness and pain that she felt when she thought she was too late. When she thought she’d lost him forever. She hugged him a little tighter to remind herself he was real; he was okay. “I’m going to bed. Thank for talking with me.” She gave him a fist bump as she pulled away.

“Night, Pidge.”

\--

Pidge decided to stop by the bakery that Wednesday. Hunk had been so exhausted after work on Tuesday, that Pidge told him to go home instead of stopping by the apartment again. The bakery had many cakes to get done by the end of the week.

She could smell the comforting scent of chocolate and vanilla and merengue frosting. She saw many customers looking at the simpler cakes for last minutes orders, people looking in as tourists in total awe by the intricate cakes. She went up to the register and smiled at the guy taking orders.

“Hey, is Hunk back there?”

“Sorry miss, the head chef can’t come out today. Though I can answer any question you might have.”

She shook her head and smiled. “Thanks, but it’s… um, is he getting a lunch hour?”

“That depends on how ahead of schedule he gets…. Um, I can let him know you’re here, but I can’t promise he’ll be able to come out.”

“It’s fine, I can wait for his lunch hour. Or just come back before closing.” She ran a hand through her hair and cleared her throat. “Thanks.”

She left the bakery quickly. What was she thinking? He was _working._ He was insanely busy.

But ever since Matt pointed out the emotional toil Hunk’s experiences had left him with, she’d been wanting to talk to him. To clarify. To tell him he wasn’t alone. To tell him she’d experienced the similar things when boys tried to touch her during cuddles or tried to get her drunk to “loosen her up.”

She knew they were both strong people. They’d piloted lions, fought in wars, had gone through hell and made it out alive. Still, somehow humans managed to fuck them over more than any Galra could. They weren’t supposed to keep fighting on Earth. But now it wasn’t evil alien emperors trying to hurt them… it was humans. And that made things so much harder because while they could tell a Galra was evil, you couldn’t always tell a person was. And the body either freezes, fights, or flees.

Pidge had worked hard to not berate herself for freezing. She couldn’t think of anything else to do. The shock of some stupid boy managing to get past her defenses better than a fucking Galra had shocked her into stillness and silence. And then she fought. And then she fled.

She wanted to tell Hunk it wasn’t his fault. She wanted to tell him that she understood. That just because they’d been in war didn’t make them invincible. She just…. She wanted to be there for him now that she was there.

Still, she’d stuffed that experience to the very back of her mind and digging it back up now made her feel anxious. She’d been in therapy for PTSD in regards to the war thanks to the Garrison. Thankfully she had still been in therapy when that happened, so she was able to work through it with both Matt and the therapist’s help. Did Hunk have any of that? Was he even aware of the truth behind those experiences, or did he shrug it off because he was a guy? Even Pidge hadn’t realized it until Matt pointed it out.

Pidge walked around aimlessly trying to get her thoughts together.

She returned just before closing and managed to get Hunk’s attention. He brightened and let her in while he finished cleaning up a bit.

“I was just about to head over to your place. What’s up? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” she said with a smile. She looked around where the other chefs were finishing up their areas and waving goodbye. “I was actually wondering if we could talk?”

Hunk frowned and put his rag down. “Of course…. What is it?”

She looked at him and wondered if she was doing the right thing there. Was it right for her to bring up something he probably hadn’t mulled over? To shed light on something he probably wasn’t even aware of? Maybe not…. But it would be worse if she kept it to herself. If she didn’t dispel the misconception. She thought about his expression when he asked if he’d done anything. How he’d thought _he_ fucked up _again._ But he never had. It had never been his fault. It was eating at him even if he didn’t know it, and Pidge couldn’t let that continue.

“Pidge?” Hunk looked worried now, nearing her.

“Um…. I just…. You seemed really tense at first when we went to go see the movie. I was wondering why. Did it… have anything to do with how we woke up?”

Hunk’s expression fell and he returned to cleaning. “Um…. I mean…. Sort of? It’s just, I couldn’t remember a lot, and you seemed uncomfortable too, so I thought… maybe I’d done something and you just didn’t want to tell me. And I freaked out because you’re my best friend, and if I hurt you-”

“You didn’t. You didn’t do anything to me. Hunk, you are a good person.” He smiled at her and nodded as he rinsed out his rag. “Is this… about the other girls?”

Hunk turned to her and frowned again. “The ones I mentioned? No, not really…. I just… I fucked up then. I did that out of loneliness and stupidity. I promised myself if I ever did anything with anyone it would mean something. And I wouldn’t feel like crap because of it.”

This was her in. This was when she could explain. “Those weren’t your fault, Hunk,” she whispered. “Those girls…. They forced you to do those things by exploiting your loneliness. You said it yourself, you… you got manipulated and-”

“Hey,” Hunk said, taking her hand. “Calm down. You’re shaking.”

“It happened to me too.”

There was a long pause before Hunk managed to ask, “What?”

Pidge let herself plop onto the floor and just like that it came tumbling out. Her frustration, her struggle, her experience. She’d started to cry but whether it was because of the memories or the frustration, she wasn’t sure. “It wasn’t you, Hunk. You know that, don’t you? It doesn’t make you weak or- or-”

“Pidge, come here.” Hunk pulled her against him and took her hands. “I know. I know, I do. I did talk to someone. They told me the same. But it’s not necessarily fun to bring it into a conversation, is it?” He squeezed her hands and smiled. “Thank you for talking to me about it, though. It means a lot. And I’m glad you felt you could trust me with yours. Hey.” He touched her chin gently, and she looked up at him. “I don’t think you’re weak either. You’re the strongest girl I know.” She smiled weakly. “We’re survivors in so many ways, aren’t we?”

She chuckled and nodded. “When do we get a break?”

“Honestly? I feel like I catch a break whenever I’m with you.” She met his eyes and felt a blush fill her cheeks. “You’re my best friend, Pidge.” She nodded, trying not to let the disappointment show. He sees her as only a friend. That was fine. “Here, I should get you home. It’s almost one in the morning.”

The ride back felt oddly light. She felt like she’d lifted a weight she hadn’t even known she was carrying. And Hunk seemed much bubblier than he had since New Year’s. His smile was wider. And Pidge found herself laughing harder at everything. There were many types of battles in life. Some literal and some not so much. Pidge had considered herself a survivor. But that night, in the car with Hunk as they kept laughing and talking past two in the morning in the parking lot of Matt’s apartment complex, was the first time she’d actually felt the strength of a survivor.


	4. Holding Back From You

The time was going by far too quickly. Pidge would have to go back in a few days, and knowing that made her feel like she was a few moments away from suffocating. These last few weeks had been incredible. She felt like she’d been lost for so long since coming back and over the span of her break, she’d found herself. She remembered who she really was. She didn’t want to go back to a reality where she always felt lost.

Matt came out of his room and ruffled her hair while she sat on the couch and ate Cheerios. “See you later, Pidge. Don’t forget to wrap the gift, it’s on my bed.”

“Will do,” she answered. “Love you, be careful.”

He nodded and left, leaving Pidge to flip through channels as she finished her cereal. A few moments later, she switched off the TV and connected her phone to the Bluetooth speaker Matt had and started playing music as she stood up and put her plate in the sink. She decided to go ahead and clean up a bit for the sake of having something to do.

She began to clean what few dishes were in the sink and went on to start sweeping the apartment. She allowed herself to dance along to the beat of the song. It was an old one, and it made Pidge reminisce of younger, more innocent days. Days when she would sit with her mom and eat popcorn while watching _50 First Dates_ because Matt and Dad were out in the garage working on some new project the Garrison gave Dad.

She swayed along, sometimes using the broom as a mic, but mostly it just put a bit of a jump in her sweeping.

“ _You want to lo-ove me, underneath it all. And I’m really-”_

She heard a soft chuckle and the broom clattered to the ground as she reacted more on instinct than thought.

Hunk caught her ankle mid-kick and raised his eyebrows at her. “Jesus Christ!” she gasped.

“Sorry. I knocked, but I don’t think you heard me over the music. It was unlocked.” He let her leg go and she felt the tension leave her body.

Only for it to come rushing right back as she remembered the state she was in. Shorts and T-shirt with no bra, unshaved legs, hair she hadn’t bothered to try brushing through yet, and _my God,_ he walked in on her dancing. “I’ll be right back,” she squeaked, disappeared into the hallway and into her room. She tugged on a pair of faded jeans and put on a sports bra under her T-shirt before throwing on a pullover. She ducked into the bathroom and used her fingers to comb through her hair. She brushed her teeth and splashed water on her face to wash away the mugginess and puffy eyes.

Jesus Christ, she was a mess.

She walked back out and lowered the music as she grabbed the broom again.

“You know, I don’t I’ve ever heard you actually sing before,” Hunk said as he leaned against the couch. “You have a nice voice.”

“You’re just saying that because you walked in on me making a fool of myself,” she mumbled. “I’m always a mess in the morning.” Hunk only chuckled and shook his head, looking at her fondly. Pidge looked away feeling a warm blush fill her cheeks. “So, um… I thought your bakery was open today.”

“Yeah, but we’re ahead on orders, so I gave the workers the day off. They’ve been working really hard the last two weeks and they deserve it.”

“Well, any plans for tomorrow?” she asked. He shook his head. “Good. Me and Matt are stealing you then. I’ve got about five years’ worth of birthdays to make up for.”

Hunk smiled widely and nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

\--

After spending most of the day watching movies, they spent the night playing video games. Matt was currently the one trying to beat Hunk on one of the higher levels, and Pidge disappeared to properly wrap his gift. There were fifteen minutes until midnight.

By the time she was done wrapping the gift, she had three minutes. She hated gift-wrapping. She went to the living room, watching the clock on her phone as the boys started a rematch. Hunk was hunched forward, mumbling under his breath, while Matt did what Pidge tended to do- curse at the screen and tilt his whole body and the controller as if that accomplished anything. Hunk and Lance always teased her for it back on the castle.

“You know the fact that you move doesn’t really do much for the game, right?” Lance had pointed out once.

“You know the fact that you’re talking right now means I’m probably going to kick your ass, right?” she’d retorted, only to hear Hunk burst into laughter. Every single time. She never could break the habit.

Suddenly her phone screen showed _12:00 January 13, 2018_

“Pause it, pause it!” she said excitedly. Matt paused the game. “Happy birthday!” she told Hunk as she joined him on the floor and gave him the box she just wrapped. “It’s from me and Matt. Well, my idea, but Matt’s money because I’m a broke college student, but still.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything-”

“Well, we did, so you may as well open it, buddy,” Matt said with a smile. “Happy birthday.”

Hunk bit his lip and tore the paper away slowly before opening the plain cardboard box. “Whoa,” he breathed. He pulled out a vintage polaroid camera and stared at it in shock.

“You mentioned before how much you love pictures because of the memories that can be captured. So, I thought you know, what better way to be nostalgic and catch an exact moment than with a polaroid? Then you have the pictures right away. The film is a little hard to find, but… I don’t know, I just-”

“I love it, Pidge. Thank you,” he said. She smiled and clasped her hands together. “Well, do I get a hug?” She laughed and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him.  “Is the film in here?” Matt nodded. “Alright, so how about a test run?” He aimed the camera at Pidge who covered her face and shook her head. “Oh, come on. It’s my birthday,” he said, adding a pout.

“That pout is not as effective now that you have a beard,” she mumbled. Hunk kept looking at her and Pidge groaned. “Fine. Your first picture is going to be me looking like crap.”

“Nah, it won’t,” he said, lifting the camera again.

Pidge pushed her hair behind her ear and prepared herself, deciding on a goofy expression. But the flash and the shutter went off, and the camera was spitting out a square piece that had to be left alone for a moment before it cleared.

“I wasn’t ready!” she exclaimed.

“Candid pictures are the best,” Hunk said with a smile.

\--

Hunk went home after a little more gaming. But the next day, they met up again and went out to eat. It was surprisingly casual despite Matt being there as well. And Pidge was slightly relieved to be able to take a few moments to breathe and not have to scramble for interesting things to say.

She knew Hunk didn’t expect that of her. They’d spent several nights back on the castle of lions without really talking and just being able to work together and around each other wordlessly. It was like a dance they both knew, and it just worked. And the best part about Hunk was that Pidge didn’t feel like the silences were awkward.

The problem with a crush was that, although logically she knew all of that, the more sentimental, emotional side of her brain was urging her to fill up the silences. To say something funny or interesting or flirty or something for the love of God before he got bored of her.

With Matt there, it wasn’t such a consuming problem.

“Hey, I have a meeting I need to go to tomorrow morning, so I can’t drop Pidge off at the airport. Do you think you could take her?” Matt asked Hunk.

Pidge blinked and brought herself back to the conversation. Hunk nodded and glanced over at Pidge, but there was something missing in his eyes. “Yeah, of course. What time?”

“My flight’s at like ten thirty in the morning,” she said, already dreading the return.

Hunk nodded and thought for a moment. “So be there around seven thirty-ish?” She nodded. “Yeah, no problem.”

Pidge looked back down at her food and tried not to think that in less that 24 hours, she would be on her own again. And who knew how long it would be before she could get another ride back or if Matt would actually road trip to see her.

A gentle nudge at her foot brought her back from her moping and she blinked quickly trying to remember that at the moment, she was there. With Hunk and Matt in a restaurant celebrating a birthday. She knew how to live in the moment. So she had to do that now.

When she turned in the direction of the nudge, she couldn’t help the smile on her face when she saw Hunk’s eyes flitting to her as he spoke about a certain out of the field cake order he’d gotten. She looked back down at her food and listened, putting in her input on some engineering he could use to make the effects of the cake fantastic. Matt began to sketch out the idea on a napkin and it suddenly felt like old times. When the three of them would mull over something until they figured it and high-fived and hugged and celebrated. They laughed and joked and stayed way past the check. For Pidge, those were the best little moments. Not wanting to even get up because it was just so enjoyable to sit there and talk and discuss.

Eventually though, they did leave and they walked around the Vegas strip again. Pidge couldn’t even feel the cold when she was between the two of them, talking and feeling carefree.

They walked until it got dark, and even then, they sat at a bench outside and watched the city come to life with lights. Pidge leaned against Hunk’s shoulder and he knocked his knee against hers lightly. Matt was leaning back, facing the sky. Pidge saw him tapping his finger against his jeans and she knew not to bug him until he’d come out of his moment.

It was something he’d learned in therapy. He was supposed to take a moment when he was overwhelmed to “be present” and pull himself out of the memories. Even after his PTSD had gotten better, Matt liked to take a moment sometimes and he tended to tap his fingers when he did. Pidge wondered if it was part of the exercise, unconscious, or just how he let others know not to interrupt.

“Are you cold?” Hunk asked her suddenly. She hummed and he chuckled. “You’re shivering.”

“It’s like single digits out here.”

Hunk snorted and shook his head. “We’re maybe in the thirties, you drama queen.” Pidge stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed. He wrapped his arm around her, and she had to remind herself to breathe, had to remember that this was normal for them. “That’s what happens when you’re so small.”

“I can’t help that,” she grumbled. “But thanks for being my personal heater.” He chuckled, a sound that reverberated in his chest. Pidge smiled to herself and sighed. “Sorry today couldn’t be more.”

“More what? I loved today. I got to spend it with you.” Pidge blushed and leaned into him a little more.

“Aw, now this is a kodak moment,” Matt said suddenly, making Pidge jump and her face flush. “Where’s your camera, Hunk?”

Hunk rummaged into a messenger bag he was carrying and pulled out the polaroid camera. He handed it to Matt who got up and aimed at them. Pidge smiled more out of embarrassment and actually tried to make herself smaller against him.

“See this is why candids are best. People get all panicky when they know their picture is getting taken,” Hunk said, ruffling Pidge’s hair.

“I’m not photogenic,” she complained. “Whatever, okay.” She looked up at Hunk and rolled her eyes at the teasing smile on his face. She looked at Matt. “Go ahead.”

“Alright. One, two-”

And just as he said three, Hunk’s fingers tickled her ribs and she burst into laughter as soon as the shutter went off. “Hunk!” He laughed at her expense while Matt simply held the new picture, waiting for it to clear. Pidge didn’t want to look at it. She knew she would hate it, and it wasn’t for her anyway. “Alright, Matt’s turn!” she said. She took the camera and ushered him towards Hunk. “Go, go, go.”

“Alright, but cameras love me,” he said. He splayed himself across Hunk like a damsel in distress and Hunk just looked at Pidge helplessly she laughed and took the picture. “That one will be your favorite, I already know.”

\--

When they made their way back to the apartment, Matt went to take a shower before bed and Pidge made some hot chocolate for her and Hunk. Hunk was putting his pictures into an album he’d bought on the way back and smiling.

“It was really great not to spend my birthday alone,” he said as Pidge handed him a mug and brought her legs up to perch herself on the chair beside him.

“What about your family?”

“They’re back on the islands. My mom called me in the morning, but the time difference makes it hard to talk for long. And it’s not easy to go visit them especially with the bakery in full swing.” Pidge nodded and stirred her chocolate. “Today was really great. I mean that. And the camera was great and everything.”

“But?” she asked, looking at him curiously.

He smiled and shrugged. “But I think my best gift was you walking into my bakery.”

Pidge felt her breath leave her in one go, and her cheeks turned bright red, but she couldn’t look away from him. She finally took a deep breath and managed a smile. “Best choice I made in a long time,” she said softly, not trusting her voice to be much louder.

For a moment, she wondered if Matt was right. She _felt_ like Matt was right. He liked her too, and all she had to do was lean forward.

“Pidge, can you remind me to stop by the store tomorrow morning? I’m almost out of shampoo,” Matt yelled from the hallway as he walked to his room in a towel.

She gasped cleared her throat. “Uh, yeah! Yeah I’ll try to remember.”

When she looked back at Hunk, she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was farther away than he had been a minute ago. “Yeah, I think I should get going if I have to drop you off tomorrow,” he said, getting up. He drank the rest of his hot chocolate and put it in the sink. “I’ll let you know when I’m on my way okay?” She nodded and walked him to the door. “Thanks again for today. Tell Matt too.”

“Yeah, of course,” she said with a smile. “Be careful. Let me know when you get home.”

He smiled and nodded. “Night, Pidge.”

He turned away and Pidge closed the door, leaning her forehead against the cool, white wood.

“What happened?” Matt asked a few moments later when he saw her.

She turned to him and whined, “I just like him _so fucking much.”_ Matt laughed and pulled her away from the door, ruffling her hair. “I don’t want to go back,” she sighed, wrapping her arms around him. “Not just because of Hunk. But I really like being here. Hanging out with you. Not dealing with college students.”

“Well, you have a few more months to go. Once you graduate, you can move in with me. We’ll find you a job here and you’ll make kick ass money and we’ll buy all the latest gaming software.” He wrapped an arm around her and smiled. “How’s that sound?”

“Awesome,” she said, smiling back.

“You all packed up and ready?” She nodded solemnly. “Great. So let’s fire up the PlayStation so I can kick your ass at Plants vs Zombies.”

\--

The next morning, Hunk arrived just as Matt was about to leave. He was still saying goodbye to Pidge who was already struggling not to cry. She hated saying goodbye to him.

“You’ll come back soon,” he promised. He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. “Otherwise I’m going over there and finding you to drag your butt back.”

She laughed and then wrapped her arms around him again. Each time they had to part ways, she could only think of the day he’d left for that Kerberos mission. Sure, there were no aliens to abduct him on Earth, but that didn’t keep the memories from making Pidge terrified of leaving again.

“Be good little sis. Kick ass and I’ll see you soon, okay? Graduation’s around the corner.” She nodded and gave him a fist bump. “Get her there safe, big guy,” he told Hunk. “And don’t be a stranger. You’re always welcome here. I gotta get going now.” He left the apartment and Pidge stood there in her coat and beanie, trying to keep her face passive.

“Ready?” Hunk asked gently. She nodded. “This is all your stuff?” She nodded again. “Alright. I’m gonna go load it, I’ll be back.” She nodded and watched him take her luggage and her carry-on duffel back with him in one hand and her backpack in the other. She walked around her room, making sure she wasn’t leaving anything behind and then went to grab a piece of buttered bread to eat before leaving. She hated airplane food.

Hunk came back and walked her down to the car, opening her door for her and rushing to turn up the heat. The ride was quiet. Just the sound of morning radio talk shows and the occasional song. They got to the airport and Hunk parked to help her take her things. Pidge assured him she could carry it, but he insisted on at least walking her to print her ticket and tags. She didn’t push because that meant more time with him, and she wanted to spend as much time as she could with him.

She printed her ticket, tagged her suitcase and turned it over to get boarded, and then walked with Hunk up to the line where some airline workers were checking tickets before letting them pass through a set of double doors.

“Pidge-”

She cut him off before he could say anything, wrapping her arms around him and burrowing her face in his chest. She was hanging by a goddamn thread. He wrapped his arms around her, engulfing her completely. She felt safe. She felt protected and warm and comfortable.

“No disappearing,” she managed to choke out.

“No more disappearing,” he assured. “And if you have a nightmare, I’m a phone call away, okay?”

She nodded and pulled back. “That goes for you too.” She sniffed and looked up at him, feeling her eyes tear up.

“Hey,” he whispered, catching the tear that escaped despite her attempts to control herself. “It’s going to be okay. I know school isn’t the best place, but you’re the smartest person I know, Katie Holt. You’re going to kick ass this semester and graduate and never have to go back there. We’re the strong ones, right?” She smiled, letting out a breathy chuckle and nodded. “You’re going to be amazing over there. It’s going to be okay. You know Matt and I are gonna be right here for you. Hm?” She blinked and looked up him, pressing her forehead to his.

“Finding you has been the best thing to happen to me in a long time, Hunk Garrett.” A tentative smile spread along his lips.

“Excuse me, miss? Is this your bag?” she heard a woman asked. Pidge pulled away to see her holding her backpack.

“Oh, uh, yes.”

“Okay, sorry it was kicked off to the side. I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just didn’t want someone to take it or something.”

Pidge smiled and nodded. “Yeah, no it’s totally fine. Thank you.” She put her arms through the straps and leaned down to pick up her duffel bag. The woman smiled and walked away. Pidge turned to Hunk and cleared her throat. “I guess I should get going. Check in and security are a bitch to get through.”

“Yeah, I know,” he chuckled. “Let me know when you land, okay? And when you get to your dorm or whatever.”

“Yeah, yeah, I will. Thanks for bringing me.” She hugged him one more time before forcing herself away.

She started walking away, showed her ticket, and nearly made it to the doors when she heard, “Hey, Pidge!” She turned and found Hunk aiming his camera at her. She couldn’t hear the shutter, but she saw the picture print out and saw him smile as he put the camera down. He waved and she managed a smile back.

Then she walked through the double doors.

\--

Being back at the apartment she shared just a few blocks away from campus felt weird. She had three roommates, but only shared the bedroom with one. Sophie and Ana were still on vacation, and Samantha wasn’t home. Pidge put her clothes away and placed her souvenirs along her desk. She pulled out her phone and flopped onto her bed.

 _Hey, I’m home._ She sent the same message to Matt and Hunk then stared at her ceiling. She’d taped up a map of the galaxies similar to the ones she would see on the holographs on the castle. She wondered vaguely how Coran and Allura were doing and whether Shiro saw them often.

She wondered if Lance was happy being back with his family and if he ever thought of her or Hunk or Keith. She wondered if he was doing anything special back in Cuba and how he dealt with nightmares. She wondered where Keith was, if he had a home or just lived place to place. She wondered if he’d visited Cuba or Vegas.

Her phone buzzed and she opened the text as she held her phone above her.

_I got used to you being here  feels lonelier than ever now_

She bit her lip held her phone against her chest. Logically, it’d be easy to be straightforward and ask, “Are you flirting with me? Do you like me? Because if you do, then you should do something about it because I really like you.”

But humans didn’t run on logic. They ran on emotions and fears and hopes. Which meant Pidge was well aware at how much would be at stake if she was wrong even if it wasn’t likely she was according to Matt. She could scare Hunk off, she could make their friendship weird, she could… lose him again. Besides, the more she mulled over the text the blander it seemed. Just a straightforward observation. No subtext.

She huffed and answered back.

_Its always lonely here and im alone in my apt. other girls are out._

She rolled over, feeling tired. When she checked her phone it was way later than she’d expected, but with the jetlag, she was grateful she’d be able to fall asleep soon.

It was almost eight when the front door opened. Pidge sat up in bed and cleared her throat, not wanting to freak out her roommate.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” she answered.

“Katie? You’re back!” Pidge blinked in confusion as her mind tried to revert back to responding to “Katie.” Samantha walked over to her, tugging off her scarf, her large coat, and letting loose a light cloud of some soft smelling perfume that glittered on her neck. “How was Vegas? Do anything fun?”

“It was great. And yeah there was a lot to see.” She couldn’t help but hide further into her jacket at the sight of Samantha’s tight clothes. They accented her long legs and her slim torso despite being completely covered. “How was your break?”

“You kidding? No one here is any fun for me. I just hung out at some clubs on weekends. I met this one really cute guy. And he has a friend if you’re interested.”

Pidge snorted and shook her head as she followed Sam back to their room. She sat on her bed and watched as Sam pulled her long honey-blonde hair into a bun. Even in the winter, she sported a tan and her hair glimmered and Pidge tried not to touch her own.

“Uh, no thanks. I’m close to graduating and then I’m getting the hell out of here.”

“Well, did you meet anyone in Vegas? Sin city and all.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Did you…?”

“ _No,”_ Pidge said feeling her face heat up as she recalled New Year’s. “Jesus, Sam I stayed with my brother.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, but you could’ve gone to his place. Plus, you’re an adult. Does your brother hover?” She shook her head and Samantha sighed. “Katie, did you at least let yourself have fun?”

Pidge thought back to the days she spent with Hunk, either in the bakery goofing off, or getting drunk in his apartment, or watching movie’s at Matt’s, or walking around the mall or the Strip and laughing so hard she couldn’t feel the cold. She smiled. “Yeah, I had a lot of fun.”

Sam squinted her bright, emerald eyes inspecting her. She smirked and sat on the edge of Pidge’s bed. “You _did_ meet someone.” Pidge furrowed her eyebrows. “Your face got all dreamy. Did you have a cute winter romance, Katie?” she teased.

“Oh, God. No! No…. I didn’t meet anyone, I just… found an old friend. But it wasn’t like that.”

“Sure,” she said. She tilted her head and frowned slightly, her glossed lips making Pidge very aware of her own chapped ones. “Can I ask you something?” She nodded. “You do… like guys, right? Or are you a lesbian? Because I mean, you seem really into your own thing, you know and you brush off guys like it’s no big deal-”

“I like guys,” Pidge interrupted with a laugh. “I mean, I’m not opposed to the idea of a girl if one comes along, but I’m not a lesbian.” She shrugged. “I just… I’ve had my share of things to go through. Heartbreaks are brief and I can focus on bigger things relatively quickly.” She shrugged.

“You mean the stuff you get nightmares about sometimes?” Pidge nodded slowly. Sam nodded and thought for a moment. “Okay. So, you wanna tell me what you and this friend did when you met up?”

Pidge had never been one for gossip, but she found herself bubbling to tell someone about her time with Hunk. And as she spoke, Sam seemed to light up and squeal at all the right parts, and it felt nice to have someone get as jittery as she felt. She found herself blushing as she talked, and without meaning to, went into her crush and told her how Matt thought Hunk liked her too. She really hadn’t meant to, but Pidge had it all bubbling up in her.

“Well, no shit!” Samantha laughed. “You don’t do those things for someone you’re not seriously into romantically.”

“But we’re best friends,” Pidge protested. “We’ve always been like that. And it never became more than friendship. These feelings are new, and just because I met back up with him.”

“Okay so what changed between then and now?”

Pidge thought for a moment. To begin, she wasn’t hyper-focused on a war and finding her family. She’d experienced the dating life and found it to be disappointing and incredibly shitty. She’d experienced what life without her best friend was like.

And Hunk grew a beard. And Pidge couldn’t help it, she really, really liked the way it looked on him. And the tattoos. The tattoos were nice.

“A lot,” she finally answered. “But how do I know if he feels that way too? That he doesn’t still see me as this… fifteen year old he hung out with when he was younger?”

“Well, I don’t know, I don’t know the guy!” she laughed. “But hey, even your brother sees it. Guys are usually really oblivious.” Pidge grunted. “Do you have any pictures? What’s his Facebook, I’ll stalk him.”

Pidge laughed and shook her head. “No I didn’t take any. I don’t really like pictures. He’s the one that loves taking them. And we’re not really social media users. But I can show you his cakes?”

Sam scooted closer and peered over her shoulder as Pidge scrolled through google images of Hunk’s bakery and his cakes. In all their galactical glory, magical despite the science behind them, and with colors so bright they made both girls hungry. Shapes of lions and planets and fire beams covered the screen.

Sam stopped her scrolling and clicked on a picture showing the cake that closest resembled the full Voltron lion team. Each layer was a color, and each layer had a roaring robotic lion head drawn into the side. “Hey, these look like the lions in my little brother’s book.”

“What?”

“Yeah it’s like this comic book series he started reading. I got him the latest volume for Christmas.”

Pidge frowned and looked at the cake. “What’s the comic about?”

“It’s called like Universal Defender or something. There’s lions that look like that and they form up and stuff. It’s sort of like Star Wars but really funny.” Pidge felt her breath hitch and she googled the series. “That one, I think.”

It wasn’t a comic book series. They were chapter books with pictures for each page, if the descriptions were right. But as soon as Pidge clicked the picture of the first book in the series, she felt her breath hitch.

_Written by Lance McClain; Illustrated by Melissa McClain_

“Katie? Are you okay?” Sam asked.

Pidge realized her fingers were shaking and she couldn’t catch her breath. “Is Barnes & Noble still open?” she asked, getting up and tugging on her shoes, not peeling her eyes away from her screen.

“Wh-Um… Yeah, but it’s almost going to close it’s about to be 9:30, what are you-?”

“I need to go there right now, okay? You don’t understand, but I….” She didn’t finish and grabbed her jacket, ready to haul a cab and find the closest open bookstore. Since when did Lance write? Did Hunk know?

She screenshot the search and sent it to Hunk with a series of question marks.

A few seconds later, her phone rang, but Sam was busy pulling her away from the door. “Hey, Katie, hold on! Look, the store will be open tomorrow and I can take you first thing in the morning if you want. I think they close early for MLK, but-” Pidge struggled against her.

She didn’t get it. She hadn’t heard from Lance in years, and now he has a book series? About Voltron? She couldn’t just brush off this information.

“Katie, it’s freezing out there and it’s dark. Come on, you just got back. I’ll make you some tea and we’ll go to bed. We can check the bookstore tomorrow.” She let herself get led back to the room.

As Sam left to put on water for tea, Pidge called Hunk back.

“Are you serious? How did you find out?” he asked.

“I was showing my roommate your cakes and she recognized the lions. Her brother reads the books. I don’t-” She took a sharp breath and shut her eyes. “I wanted to stop by the store to find it, but my roommate said we could go tomorrow. And who the hell is Melissa?”

“Maybe he got married?”

“And decided to write books about his ex-boyfriend with her?” Pidge whispered, trying to listen for Sam’s footsteps. She could hear mugs clanking together.

“Maybe she understands? I don’t know. I didn’t even know he liked writing. He hated reading.” Hunk’s voice sounded soft and fragile. It made Pidge want to crawl into his lap and hug him until he felt better. “Could you let me know if you find the books?”

“Yeah, of course,” she answered softly. “Um, I’m going to try and get some rest. I’m both mentally and physically exhausted.”

Hunk chuckled softly. “Same here, but I’ve got some errands to run before I get a chance to sleep. Sleep tight, Pidge. Your classes don’t start till after tomorrow, right?” She hummed in affirmation. “Okay. Well, I’ll text you tomorrow. Goodnight.”

“Night, Hunk.” She hung up and stared at her phone.

Sam came back with two mugs of steaming tea. “Extra sugar and honey in yours,” she said, handing her a mug with Harry Potter quotes on it. “Was that your friend?”

“Hunk, yeah,” she said. “Um… it’s just… I think we know the writer from a long time ago, so…. I’m sort of….” She cut herself off and sipped at her tea, not caring when the water scalded her lip. Why was it so hard to try and tell Sam what her past was? She’d known Sam since their sophomore year. She could be a little superficial sometimes, but she knew Pidge well enough. Knew about the nightmares, now she knew about Hunk.

But Pidge knew that if she’d grown up without the Garrison being part of her life, she never would’ve believed someone if they told her they piloted giant robot cats and defeated an alien dictatorship after years of intergalactic battles. She’d have gotten up halfway through and walked away from the bullshit. No wonder Lance made it into a “fictional” comedy/action book series.

“No way,” Sam said with a smile. “Really? If I told my brother that, he would freak.”

“I just…. I have to find those books.” Sam nodded and patted her hand gently. Sam’s hand was smooth and tanned and unblemished. Pidge’s were covered in little, faded scars from having spent so long working with machinery and weapons. It made her self conscious and she pulled her hand back to her tea, keeping her eyes on the comforter.

“We’ll go tomorrow,” Sam promised. “I’m going to turn out the light, okay? Wake me up if you get a nightmare.”

Pidge remained, sitting on her bed, staring at her phone as though she could will the damn book to appear in her hands. She wanted to look up a synopsis, but she felt that wouldn’t be fair to Lance. She wanted to see the words he wrote for herself. Wanted to see the pictures drawn and how accurate they were. She wondered how the series fared with the Garrison considering they had been adamant to keep the entire Voltron war quiet to keep people from panicking. She supposed they didn’t care if he passed it off as fictional.

She finished her tea and set the mug on the floor beside her bed, hugging her phone because it was all she could do to keep Hunk and Lance close to her when they were so fucking far away.


	5. It's Delicate, Isn't It?

When morning came around, Pidge had barely managed to sleep. She’d been too anxious, and her stomach was in knots, but she wasn’t sure why. Sam woke up and got ready for the day, but Pidge just paced around and nibbled on a piece of toast until they could leave. Hunk had texted her good morning and it actually managed to soothe her nerves at least for a little while.

Sam, all primped and ready for the day, finally grabbed her keys and her coat and gestured to the door. Pidge followed and felt her hands begin to sweat. She slid into her car and started chewing on her thumb as Sam pulled away from the apartment. She could tell that Pidge was nervous, so she didn’t try to talk to her much.

Maybe Sam knew there was more than Pidge was telling her. She wasn’t stupid and no one got this worked up over a book series. Still, she was kind enough not to prod.

When they reached the bookstore at the mall, Pidge followed Sam through the aisles. She stopped and pointed. “The books should be in there. You’ll notice them easily because they take up a few shelves. I’ll be over here in the textbook section, alright?” Pidge nodded and watched her walk away.

She was close. She was very close to the books. But she couldn’t get her feet to move. It felt like she was back in the bakery, frozen in place as she stared at Hunk at the register. She gulped and shot Hunk a quick text.

_@ bookstore.._

She tucked her phone away and focused on moving her feet. She scanned the shelves slowly before she caught Lance’s name. Her breath caught and swallowed as she tried to breathe normally. Her mouth felt dry.

She followed the books as they numbered backwards until she reached the first one.

 _The Galactical Defender Series_ was written at the very top. This one had a cave depicting a glowing lion drawing and the title _Zurtron: An Unexpected Team Book 1._ She picked it up and opened the to the first page which had praises for the book. She turned and saw the publishing information. One more page turn and she’d gasped as tears pricked at her eyes.

_To the best team in the universe. There’s no one else I would’ve gone to war with._

She stared at the italic letters for a while, feeling her eyes water before gaining the courage to turn the page again. It had a quote about bravery in the center. She turned to the next.

_Chapter 1: Signals From Space_

Pidge began to read, quickly immersing herself in the words and the memories. He’d written it from his own point of view and changed their names, but it was easy to see who was who. To begin, there were only three characters at the beginning; Leo the narrator, Chuck, and Jamie. The descriptions were so obviously them. Lance had kept Pidge’s character true to her and kept her posed as a boy, but she knew it was her because Jamie was the one looking for his family.

The art was exquisite. Every other page had a colorful rendition of them, even with similar clothing and color palettes.

Before long, Pidge was halfway through the book, reading on about how messy the practices were, laughing and crying at the same time at the inside jokes and obvious jokes Lance had incorporated. Keith and Shiro’s characters, Kyle and Makira respectively were also true to their characters and Pidge didn’t sense any malice around Keith’s character.

The book ended when the first battle was on the verge of starting, ending with a piece of art with each of the five characters looking frightened and ever so young.

Pidge hadn’t realized how profusely she’d been crying until she turned the page to find the acknowledgements. Lance had thanked his editor, his agent, his therapist, his family, his sister-in-law for the art, and his readers. And then-

_Lastly, to the friends who showed me the universe. You each taught me different things, whether it was how to be a friend, how to be an adult, how to be a leader, how to be a supporter, or simply how to love unconditionally. And I will never forget any of you. I think of you each every day and I can never thank you enough for all the years we spent together. Maybe one day we’ll reconnect, but for now I hope you all know I keep you close to my heart. A team then, a team now, and a team for the years to come._

Pidge put the book down and held it close, stifling her sobs in her jacket sleeve. She took her phone back out to see a message from Hunk. She responded with a picture of the acknowledgement page.

It was a while before Hunk responded, and Pidge wasn’t sure if it was because he was busy or because he felt as emotionally strung out as her. He called her again and she answered, sniffing. “Hello?” she whispered.

“Was it good?” he asked. His voice was shaking too.

She laughed through the tears and nodded before remembering she actually had to speak. “Yeah, it actually was. He put in everything that we went through those first few weeks. And it’s so funny, Hunk.” She started crying again, unable to hold back her tears. “Your name is Chuck in here. I’m Jamie and I’m still a boy right now.”

Hunk laughed and she could hear him sniffing periodically. After a while of silence, he asked, “Does it say anything about him? Like the short author bios that are on some books?”

“Um, lemme check.” She turned to the back cover and her breath caught.

There was a picture of Lance, long face, all angles and sharp edges. There was the scar on his jaw from one of their missions. He was smiling, hands stuffed in his pockets almost shyly. But those were the same blue eyes and the same tousled brown hair, slightly longer than it had been when she last saw him, looking windswept and unruly.

There was her other best friend.

She chuckled and read aloud.

“Lance Charles McClain is a Cuban author, inspired to write after dealing with heavy post-traumatic stress. He says he’s always felt like he’s a little kid inside and relates well to them with his numerous siblings and nephews. This led him to write his hit series, _Zurtron: Galactical Defender,_ aimed at middle school kids. Still, his easygoing, humorous writing has captured the hearts of kids and adults across the world. Lance now lives in… New York City with his pet dog, Leon. Although he has no social media outlets, he has consistent book tours to greet his young fans.”

Below that was a picture and a small bio of a young woman with long, wavy black hair and brown eyes. His sister-in-law and illustrator. But Pidge was more focused on the last two sentences of Lance’s bio.

“Hunk. He’s in New York. That’s like… a three hour drive from me.”

“Hold on, I’m searching up book signings in New York.” Pidge ran her hand over the cover, struggling to reach up for the next book. She flipped to the back as though the pages could hold new information. She stared at the books and hugged them to her chest as Hunk mumbled. “Okay, so there’s a store on Union Square that’s going to hold some authors. Lance is one of them. They’re going to speak a little then have a break then do some signings.”

“When?”

“February the 24th from like noon to five. It’s a Saturday.”

It seemed so far from now, but the only other option was scouting through the millions of people that inhabited New York city to find Lance. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to focus on school now. She had found Hunk and now they were close to finding Lance. And surely, with the note he’d left behind, he would be glad to see them, right?

“I’m buying the books,” she said, pulling herself up off the floor. She grabbed the first five and checked her account to be sure she had enough. “There’s pictures too. Looks like us when we were younger.”

“I can’t believe he’s an author now.”

Pidge laughed and ran her hand through her hair. “I’m an emotional wreck, Hunk. I’m sobbing in the middle school section of the damn store.”

Hunk laughed, but not teasingly. “Yeah, you’re not alone there. I had to take a very early lunch break when you sent that picture.”

“Shit. I totally forgot you’re working. I’m so sorry.”

“Pidge, we just got one step closer to finding Lance, and you’re apologizing?” She laughed and wiped at her face with her sleeve. “Look, I’ll head over to your place that Friday night and we can head out, stay at a hotel for a night, then go to the signing. How does that sound?”

“Yeah. That sounds good.”

“Okay. I have to get back to the bakery and probably take the chance to actually eat. But keep me updated, okay?” Pidge hummed in affirmation. “What time do your classes end tomorrow?”

“I’m usually back home by six.”

Hunk hummed and then said, “Okay. Well, I have to go. Let me know how the books go.”

She chuckled and patted her stack of book affectionately. “It’s probably all I’m gonna talk about, Hunk.” He laughed and her heart elated at the sound. “Okay, I’ll let you go now. Bye, Hunk.”

“Bye, Pidge.”

He hung up and Pidge went to the cashier to buy her books. As soon as they were bagged, she grabbed the second and started reading.

Sam came up to her a few seconds later and nudged her foot. “Wanna go home?”

She nodded and stood up, reading as she walked with Sam. Sam let her read the ride back and as she went back to the apartment, but after that, she sat down on Pidge’s bed and tapped her shoulder. She hummed, not looking away from the book, even though she had lived it.

Her roommate sighed and tugged the book away, despite Pidge’s protests. “Look, Katie, I’ve known you for a while now. And I’ve tried not to pry too much, but…. I know you’re hiding something. About your past. I’m not really sure what, but I know it has to do with Hunk and the author of that book, and something with that series because your eyes look incredibly red and I know it’s not because you got high.” Pidge narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. “I want to be able to help you. But I can’t do that if I don’t know what upsets you.”

She scoffed and shook her head. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Honestly, if you’ve hid it this long, I’d be willing to believe anything you told me. I just want to understand.” Pidge looked at her nervously and took a deep breath, keeping her mouth shut. “I won’t judge. No matter what happened.”

Pidge took a breath and let it out slowly. Then she looked at Sam and lifted the book. “These aren’t fictional.” Sam furrowed her eyebrows and looked at the book then at Pidge in confusion. “I lived it. I’m in it. The book, I mean.”

“You’re… in the book?”

“Jamie Gunderson at your service. Paladin of the Green Lion.” Sam’s eyebrows furrowed further as she stared at Pidge. “If you don’t believe me, then ask your brother to tell you what’s happened in the books, and then I’ll tell you what I went through. You can see what parts align and what doesn’t.”

“Um. Okay…. Why don’t you tell me first?”

She shrugged and hugged a pillow to her chest. She tried to explain in a concise way. Why and when she got into the Garrison, how they’d come across the cave, the castle, the lions. How Hunk was the yellow pilot and Lance was the blue pilot. She gave her roommate a gist of some of their major battles, and the major turning points for the team. The time they found out about Keith, when Shiro went missing, when she found her brother, when Keith left to join the Blade. She told her about the time Lance had nearly died and Hunk had been tortured. She told her about Keith and Lance becoming a couple and those little moments she reminisced with Hunk that weren’t all serious and bad. The holidays, the planets, the movie nights, the Space Mall.

Sam had looked incredulous and apprehensive at first, and Pidge was certain she would call a mental institution at first. But once Pidge finished with them returning to Earth and going their separate ways, she looked more shocked than anything.

“I remember my brother calling me to complain about Kyle leaving Zurtron. And he called me crying when Jamie found her brother, and I got confused because the last time he’d mentioned Jamie, it was a boy.” Pidge chuckled and nodded. “So…. You pulled a Mulan and passed for a boy?”

“Have you seen me? I’ve always been underdeveloped and small. It wasn’t that hard to make fake documents and look like a prepubescent boy.”

“So… that’s why you started college later than most of us?” Again Pidge nodded. “And… the scars you have are from… battles?”

“And messing with the lions. Yeah.”

Sam ran her hand through her hair and scoffed. “I just… I thought you had a bad family or something. I never thought… you were a war vet. You lived real life Star Wars!”

“Not exactly like that… but sure.” Pidge chuckled, grateful that Sam believed her.

“And your nightmares…. Oh my, God. Katie, I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that for so long.” She wrapped her arms around Pidge and hugged her tightly. “No wonder you freaked out when I told you about the books.” She took one of the ones on the pile and flipped to the back where Lance’s picture was. “Whoa, he’s really hot. I can’t believe this stuff is real.” Pidge laughed and shook her head. “Honestly, if I could get my brother to meet him…. But never mind. Are you… gonna try to find him?”

Pidge nodded. “Hunk and I are going to one of his signings.” She plopped back on the bed and ran a hand through her hair. “But it’s not for another month almost, and I don’t know what to do in the meantime! I have no idea how I’m supposed to focus on school.”

“Well, why don’t you just take it one day at a time. Trust me with the amount of shit the professors have us doing, the time is going to speed past.”

Pidge hummed apprehensively. Before either of them could say anything else, the front door opened, and she heard a familiar voice calling out for them. It seemed Ana had come back.

She walked into their room and smiled at them brightly. “How was break?” she asked.

Pidge looked at Samantha and they smirked. “It was alright,” Sam said with a shrug.

“Nothing major,” Pidge added.

“Well, it feels good to be back. We should go out to eat tonight before having to start classes tomorrow.” She put a hand to her hip, her silver rings contrasting with her dark chocolate skin. “What do you two think?”

“I’m up for it,” Sam answered. Pidge shrugged in agreement.

Samantha left the room and went off to catch up with Ana while Pidge snuggled into her bed and began reading again. As she read, she couldn’t help the tears that fell from her eyes and simply tried to stay quiet enough as to not alert her roommates. She read until her eyelids had gotten too heavy and finally managed to fall asleep.

She dreamt of Voltron. But it wasn’t a war anymore. It wasn’t capturing, torture, or trauma. She dreamt about the good times. The day they’d been handcuffed together and started a food goo fight. The day she found Matt. The ridiculous shows they had to put on when forming the coalition. The day Keith came back to stay.

When Sam woke her up, she felt drained and melancholic. She was nostalgic for those moments, and remembering them made her feel heavy. But she preferred it over the nightmares.

She managed to join her roommates as they went out for wings and managed to remain engaged in the conversation. It was a bit of a struggle for her to keep her mind off of New York, off of Lance. She kept wondering what she and Hunk would say to him, or how they’d approach him.

Every now and then, Samantha would look at her worriedly, but Pidge managed to refocus and tried to enjoy her time with her roommates.

The next day, classes were a bit of a blur. One dove straight into the curriculum, but others took a moment for introductions and going over the major points in the syllabus. Pidge ended up doodling in the margins of the papers, creating rough sketches of her friends. She even drew what she thought Keith and Shiro might look like.

They had all changed so much, and yet not at all. It was strange to see Lance looking so much older and mature, yet child-like and playful in that photo. And Hunk was still the same guy with the same protective hugs and bright smile, just with a beard and tattoos. Pidge was still small and looked younger than she was, but her hair was different as was her personality. She was far more careful around people than she was when she was in the comfort of the castle.

She wondered if Lance got nightmares. She wondered who was there to comfort him, or how he did it himself. She wondered if he was different around people now too.

“Ah, miss?” Pidge blinked and looked up, realizing with a start that she was alone in the classroom. “The class has been dismissed. Are you alright?”

She cleared her throat and stood up, grabbing her things. “Oh, yes. Sorry…. I guess it’s just the nerves.” She chuckled nervously and left, thankful that it had been her last class anyway.

She returned to her apartment where Samantha and Sophie were already home and watching something on the television. Meanwhile, she scavenged the pantry, hoping to eat something other than noodles.

Before she could look for long, her phone rang. It was Matt.

“Hey Pidgeon. How was the first day back?”

Pidge smiled to herself. Four years later and he still called the first day of each semester. “It was okay. Kind of pointless, and I already got assigned some homework, but it’s cool.”

“Well, just keep your eye on the prize. You’re not that far from finishing.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I get nervous just thinking about that.”

“Have you eaten yet?”

“No, I was just looking, but I think I might just order something online in a bit.” She padded over to her room and laid down on the bed. “You won’t believe what I found out the other day.” Matt hummed inquisitively. “Lance is a writer. He has a book series and it’s based off of Voltron.”

“No fucking way?” Pidge laughed and turned on her side to grab one of the book on the bedside table. “How did you find out?”

“My roommate. Samantha. Her little brother reads them. I went to go find them, and they’re really good. Really funny, and… a lot of memories.”

Samantha walked in and waved for her attention. “Your pizza’s here.”

“I didn’t order a pizza,” she answered.

Same shrugged. “Pizza chick is here and says the pizza is for someone with your last name.”

Pidge frowned and stood up. “Hey, Matt gimme a second.” She walked over to the front door and saw a girl holding out a pizza. “Um, hey. Who is that for?”

“Pidge Holt,” she answered. “It was paid online, so….”

Pidge furrowed her eyebrows, and she took the pizza, thanking the delivery girl. She walked to the table and chuckled. “Matt, why’d you get me a pizza?”

“I didn’t,” he answered. “But now I know why Hunk asked for your address earlier.”

Pidge froze and stared at nothing. “What?”

Matt laughed on the other end while Pidge felt herself go completely red. “I’ll let you go so you can eat and thank your future boyfriend.”

“Oh my God, shut up!” she whined. “Ugh. Okay, I’ll talk to you later.” He hummed suggestively and Pidge hung up. She opened the pizza and bit back a smile.

Medium supreme pizza with a stuffed crust. She couldn’t hold back the smile or the way her mouth watered. She took a soda from the fridge and took her pizza to her room, trying to hide her blush.

She pulled her laptop out and texted Hunk, asking if he had a Skype.

_No? I can make one tho?_

_Pls do._

A few moments later, he sent her a text with his username. She figured he wasn’t too busy and decided to call him, chewing on her pizza with a smile. After a few seconds of ringing, the screen widened to show Hunk’s inquisitive face. He broke into a smile when he saw her eating.

“So you remembered my favorite pizza,” she said. “And after asking Matt where I live, you ordered it online for me?”

Hunk chuckled, and the camera moved. Pidge could hear a bit of commotion in the background as he moved away from the kitchen. He was on his phone and still at the bakery. Pidge wanted to slap herself for not remembering the damn time difference.

“Well, it was your first day back. I figured you deserve it.” Pidge felt herself blush, and she was thankful her room was dark enough so he couldn’t tell.

“Well, thank you,” she answered with a smile. “It was a great surprise.”

“Katie, are you not going to share that- Why are you smiling?” Samantha and Sophie had come into the room and Pidge froze mid-bite, looking at the screen frantically. “You never video chat. Who are you video chatting?” she asked.

Pidge chewed carefully and swallowed her bite. “Hunk…,” she answered honestly.

Samantha’s eyes lit up, and Pidge realized she’d made a mistake. “Oh my _God,_ did he get that pizza for you? That is _so sweet!_ Can we say hi?”

“Who’s Hunk?” Sophie asked, crawling over to see the screen.

“He’s working right now, I was just-”

“Who is that?” Hunk asked looking confused.

Pidge sighed in resignation and turned her laptop. “My roommates. Sophie and Samantha. Guys, this is my friend, Hunk.”

“Friend?” Sophie repeated with a smirk.

“Oh my God, I’m going to strangle you!” she snapped, putting her laptop aside. She ran toward them, ushering them out of the room.

They protested, laughing and teasing her. “A friend who gets you pizza from the other side of the country, yeah okay!” Sophie giggled.

“Bye, Hunk, it was nice to meet you after everything I’ve heard about you!” Samantha shouted over Pidge’s protests and Sophie’s teasing.

“Get out, get out, get out!” Pidge shrieked, shutting the door. She could hear them squealing and laughing rambunctiously on the other side. She groaned and returned to her laptop, mortified to see Hunk covering his mouth to hide a smile. “I am so sorry. College girls, what can you do?”

Hunk uncovered his mouth, and Pidge noticed a slight blush in his cheeks, but she couldn’t be sure with the damn beard covering half his face. She cleared her throat and held up her pizza. “Um, but seriously thank you for the pizza. I didn’t even realize how much I was craving it.”

“It was no problem,” he answered. “It’s not weird, right? I mean, what one of your roommates said-”

“No, no, not at all,” Pidge answered trying to keep her voice light. But she felt like something had dropped in her stomach. “Best friends can do this kind of stuff. People just you know… get weird about guys and girls being friends.” She shrugged and chewed on her pizza to keep her face unreadable.

“Oh okay, cool,” he said with a sigh of relief. That made the feeling worse.

“Um, I should let you get back to work. I keep forgetting the time difference, I’m sorry.” She laughed nervously, but Hunk only smiled at her.

“No, it’s fine. Really. I was really happy to see you get your food.” He chuckled and Pidge felt her heart flutter again. “I can call you when I get off work, if you’re not too tired?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “That’d be nice. I’ll see you later then?” He nodded with a smile. “Okay…. Bye, Hunk.”

He smiled crookedly, an expression that made Pidge’s heartbeat skyrocket. “Bye, Pidge.”

She took a deep breath and ended the call. Then she tossed her computer aside and hit her head against the wall in frustration. She stuffed her face with more pizza, hoping to just eat the day’s frustration away and grabbed her book, careful not to get grease on the pages.

Before she could read far, the door opened again and Sophie and Samantha came in with smiles. “So, how’s the pizza?”

She snorted and held out the box. Sophie took a slice, but Samantha shook her head. “So, who was that guy?” Sophie asked.

“Just a friend,” she answered, remembering how uncomfortable he’d gotten over the teasing. “And that’s all he’ll ever be.” She bit into her pizza in frustration, ignoring when Sam scoffed.

“You’re joking, right? Katie, the guy bought you a pizza. That means he thought of the time difference and managed to order it in time for you to come home. People don’t do that stuff for just friends.”

Pidge rolled her eyes and shook her head. “We’re just best friends. That’s all. I’m not a girl people like, okay?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sophie questioned, licking her fingers.

Pidge felt something heavy settle in her chest as she ran a hand through her hair. “I mean, he’d never like me. He’s known me for too long, he probably sees me like a little sister or something. He does sweet things assuming I won’t read into it because it’s ridiculous for him to like me.”

“Why wouldn’t he like you?” Sam asked. “You’re both really smart, you spent a lot of time together, and with everything you went through-” Pidge shot her a warning look, and Sam sighed. “I’m just saying, there’s no reason he wouldn’t like you.”

Pidge grimaced and ate her pizza with rising self-hatred. Of course there was. She wasn’t tall and curvy like her roommates. She didn’t have smooth skin like Ana, or curves in all the right places like Sophie, or long legs and a small waist like Sam.

Pidge was small, underdeveloped, covered in battle scars, weird little freckles, and if she wore a shirt that fit too tightly, everyone could see the chub in her stomach. The only thing she had going for herself were her eyes, but even those were surrounded by eyebrows she always forgot to tweeze. Her legs were bulky and she hadn’t shaved them since November because of how cold it got. She didn’t even know how to use makeup well enough to at least _pretend_ she looked better.

“Katie?”

She gasped as Sophie’s voice pulled her out of her daze. “Yeah, no, sure. Probably just being pessimistic.”

“I mean, you’ve dated before, haven’t you? Guys do like you, Katie,” Sophie said encouragingly.

But that only made Pidge feel worse. Because yes, she had dated. Two boys, both of which only saw her as an object. They didn’t like her because she was smart and pretty, they liked her because they thought she’d be an easy, desperate lay. And thinking about it made her angry.

But aloud, she just answered, “Yeah. I guess so.”

“Well, we made it through our first day back. What do you girls say to changing into sweats and hoodies and binging Criminal Minds?” Pidge smiled as Samantha squeezed her free hand. “And you can bring your pizza, Katie.”

She chuckled and nodded, joining her roommates in the living room.

They didn’t know her all that well, and it wasn’t easy to comfort her. But they had tried, and they weren’t leaving her to wallow alone. For that, Pidge was grateful.

That night as she got ready for bed, her phone buzzed with a picture message. It was from Hunk. She opened it and saw a screenshot of an airline website. The code for two tickets had come up, and Pidge saw that the destination was New York.

_Look what I just bought!!!_

Pidge smiled and sent back a row of excited emojis.

Everything was fine. She’d gotten one best friend back. She would get the other back soon. And all of this mess about unrequited feelings wouldn’t matter, because they’d all be together, and they’d all be a family, and everything would be fine.

It had to be.


	6. Things to Say

It wasn’t long before routine kicked in. Waking up, going to class, doing homework, skyping or calling Hunk, going to bed. Throughout the day, she would read a bit, but with the load of classes she got, she didn’t read as quickly as she liked. Matt called her just about every other day to check in on her. The weekends were usually spent cramming or watching TV with the roommates.

Sam had been right. With classes and assignments and due dates, February had arrived quickly.

The distance had helped Pidge deal with her unrequited crush a little more. She wasn’t with Hunk all the time, so she could focus more on classes and ignored the little voice in her head that reminded her of all her insecurities. When she talked to him, the butterflies came back along with a speeding heartbeat.

Now, with the prospect of him arriving at her house, and the fact that they would be going to New York together…. Well, she couldn’t stop the jitters from taking over her body. She felt overheated and anxious, and she checked her luggage and bag four times, constantly looking at her phone to see when he’d land.

They had decided that Pidge would go to the airport and meet up with him once he landed so they could get their flight to New York. Now, she was just waiting and it wasn’t very fun.

Finally, Pidge heard her phone chime and saw a text from Hunk. She took a breath and checked to be absolutely certain she had all the essentials before going into her room to look for Sam who was supposed to drop her off.

Samantha was sitting on her bed, studying. There were highlighters and sticky notes spread out around her and her hair was pulled up into a messy bun.

Pidge cleared her throat and smiled nervously when she looked up. “Do you mind dropping me off now? He just landed.”

Sam smiled and nodded, sliding on her shoes and putting on a jacket before grabbing her keys. “You okay?” she asked as they left the apartment. “It’s a lot to take in. New York. Your friend. Hunk.”

Pidge shrugged. “I’ve been through worse.” Sam chuckled and nodded, agreeing with her. “It’s just…. I felt like I was getting over it with being away from him. But now that I’m going to spend a weekend with him, I can’t stop being nervous. Which is stupid, because I wasn’t like this before I started liking him.” She grimaced and got into the car, tossing her duffel bag and backpack in the backseat. “I’m also confused because… I didn’t start liking him until my brother started teasing me about it. I didn’t feel anything until then and after that, I just kept getting all jittery and weird.”

Sam chuckled and changed the station until she found one that had music instead of people talking. “Maybe that’s because you liked him and just didn’t acknowledge it. Katie, you’re a very focused person. I’ve figured that out about you over the years. You center your attention on one thing and everything else fades away. You were probably more focused on school or the fact that you found him at all. So you didn’t notice what you felt until it was pointed out to you. Then you hyper focused.”

Pidge grimaced and leaned her head on the window. That did sound like her. “I just don’t want this stupid crush to mess up our friendship. I used to feel so comfortable around him, and now I feel like I have to impress him. It’s ridiculous.”

“It’s normal,” Sam laughed. “It’s something all girls feel with crushes. But based on what I’ve seen over the last month? You have nothing to worry about.” Pidge frowned and looked at her, not sure about what she meant. “Oi, Katie,” she sighed. “The guy called you or video chatted you every night. And you have no idea how much you’d laugh when you talked to him. We could hear you in the other room.” Pidge blushed and ran a hand through her hair. “He likes you. Or at least it’s a very possible he could eventually.”

Pidge let out a long breath and tried to compose herself. “This weekend isn’t about me and Hunk. It’s about us finding our friend. I think I should ‘hyper focus’ on that.” Sam shot her a look and Pidge shrugged, smiling smugly.

About a song later, Sam pulled into the airport and found the entrance for departures. Pidge grabbed her things and thanked Sam for the ride before turning away and starting for the doors. She pulled her phone out and texted Hunk, letting him know where she was.

She went to a small Starbucks kiosk to get a drink and a snack before sitting in a stiff, plastic chair. About halfway through her muffin and lots of trying not to feel like eyes were on her, she heard someone call her name.

She looked up and saw Hunk in a flannel and dark jeans, a small suitcase rolling behind him and a thick jacket draped over one forearm. He was smiling, tousled hair and bright, brown eyes making everything else fade away. Pidge stood up, leaving her drink on the floor and her muffin on her backpack before rushing over to him.

He wrapped her up in a hug, and Pidge felt more like herself than she had since she got back. He was warm and she couldn’t imagine a better place to be.

“I missed you,” she admitted, her cheek pressed against his chest.

He chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest and making Pidge feel nervous. “I missed you too, Pidge.” He pulled back and smiled at her, tugging on the hair on the side where it was longer. “Your hair grew,” he noted.

“Yeah, I haven’t been keeping up with it, so now I’m just letting it grow until I can cut it even again,” she rambled nervously. But Hunk just smiled and walked with her to her seat. “You want any?”

“Just a bite,” he said, tearing off a small piece of muffin. He glanced around them, looking at people scurrying around and buying last minute things before rushing to get their tickets or hauling their luggage. “This doesn’t feel real,” he finally said. Pidge looked at him questioningly, holding out her muffin for both. He grabbed another piece, though Pidge figured he wasn’t really aware of it. He tended to eat when he was nervous. “It’s just… after all this time, the fact that we might see Lance again. The fact that he’s an author! I… I have no idea what to think.”

“Well,” Pidge said, holding back a smile as Hunk finished her muffin. She offered her drink which he also accepted. “We’ll take it step by step. Step one is getting our tickets. Step two is going through security. Step three, get on the plane. Let’s do those first before we think about everything else.”

He nodded and handed her drink back. “Don’t let me take your food.” Pidge laughed and shook her head. “Okay, let’s go get our tickets. You’re taking that as carry on?”

She nodded then stood to follow him to get their tickets. As Hunk printed his, she noticed the people around her. Families, or couples. Kids running to the parents, looking around excitedly, couples huddled close together, smiling with the excitement of going wherever they were going.

She wondered if people thought she and Hunk were a couple. They couldn’t pass for family. Pidge was also standing very close to him. She wasn’t sure if it was just to have an anchor in the chaos of the airport, or because she was drawn to him like a magnet. Either way, she tried to give him more space.

Pidge printed her own ticket and then they made their way further into the airport, ready for step two.

By the time they got on the plane, Pidge felt antsy. As much as she wanted to say her step by step approach helped them calm down, she couldn’t stop the voice in the back of her mind. In twenty-four hours, they might be sitting with Lance. She could tell that Hunk was just as nervous as her with the way he drummed his fingers on the armrest.

Without really thinking about it, she placed her hand over his, stopping the motion. He looked at her in shock for a moment, but she just smiled at him and looked out the window. She had done that before. In meetings for coalitions, whenever they were waiting on news of one of the other paladins’ health, whenever they were on their way home after years of being in space. He always fidgeted with his hands, and Pidge always placated him by placing a hand over his.

So why did this time make her feel short of breath?

\--

The flight wasn’t long. Before they knew it, they were in their hotel, dropping their stuff and laying down in their beds.

“What now?” Hunk asked.

Pidge hummed and let out a trill of her lips. “We can see the city. Get shit faced again. Try not to freak out about tomorrow.”

Hunk laughed. “I don’t think I want to be hungover when we see Lance again,” he said.

“True. We can get shit faced tomorrow. We can try to sneak in to a Hamilton showing. I hear it’s good.”

“So get drunk or get arrested, those are your ideas?”

Pidge laughed and rolled over groaning into her mattress. “This shouldn’t be so terrifying,” she sighed. “Why is it?”

“Because… it’s always scary to see how people change after years of not seeing them.”

Pidge hummed and closed her eyes. “How did I change?”

It was quiet for a while. Enough that Pidge opened her eyes again to see if Hunk had fallen asleep. But he hadn’t. He was staring up at the ceiling, and she could tell from his profile that he was thinking. “You’re a little more anxious around strangers. A little more withdrawn.” He turned to look at her and smiled. “But nothing’s snuffed out the fire that makes you who you are, Pidge. Feisty and smart and an all around badass.”

Pidge smiled, hoping he couldn’t see her blush with the distance between their beds.

In the end, Pidge suggested that they walk around Time Square and sightsee a bit. They found the bookstore they would be going into the next day and Pidge took the chance to go ahead and buy the next book she needed.

Before long, she felt hungry and tired and overwhelmed with the amount of people walking around. Hunk suggested they get food and take it back to the hotel. Once they were back, Pidge hooked up her computer to watch something on Netflix while they ate.

When she was done, she huddled next to Hunk leaning against his side as she started reading and he started filing some orders on his computer. The television went ignored.

It was a little funny that they were in one of America’s major cities and still preferred to be in a small hotel room with a cheesy sitcom on the TV. For a split second, Pidge imagined the rest of her life being this simple. No more worries, no more classes, no more wars and aliens, no more trauma. Just a simple little place with a book and internet connection. And Hunk beside her.

She shut her eyes and shook her head, clearing it before going back a page to reread what she’d zoned out on.

A few moments later, Hunk asked, “Is that when we went to the Balmera?”

“It’s when we went back. When Allura had to restore the planet and stuff. Shay’s in here. Lance kept her name.” Hunk hummed, but his eyes were on the art on the page, depicting Keith and Lance fighting off a group of Galra guards in one of the Balmera’s tunnels. “Have you gotten a chance to read them yet?”

“I got to the third one,” he answered. He took his eyes off the book and shut his computer. “We haven’t talked about… how we’re going to go up to him.” Pidge frowned and shut her book. “We can’t exactly…. We can’t just show up mid-presentation. I think that would freak him out.”

“We could wait until the end of the signings. I mean, he has to recognize us, right?”

“What if it’s too public? The three of us are just going to break down in the middle of a bookstore.”

Pidge laughed nervously and bit her lip. “I mean…. It’s New York City. Everywhere is too public, and we can’t just follow him home.” Hunk nodded and sighed, rubbing his face, and Pidge couldn’t help but feel her heart skip a beat at the determined, frustrated expression on his face. “Hey,” she said gently. “We’ll figure it out.”

Hunk looked at her, blinking a few times before his expression softened. Pidge looked away, feeling suddenly self-conscious and laid her head on his shoulder. “He’s our best friend,” she said, hoping her voice wasn’t shaking as much as she thought it was. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“Yeah,” Hunk whispered, leaning over to rest his head on hers.

\--

After spending the rest of the day sharing a bed and eating snacks while watching a variety of movies on Netflix, Pidge and Hunk ended up falling asleep early, both anxious for the events of the next day.

When they woke up, Pidge was quick to make herself decent before Hunk came out of the bathroom. She wasn’t sure why if he’d seen her rolling out of bed before, but she couldn’t help it. She felt nervous about everything at that moment. Hunk, Lance, New York, and the homework she knew she was putting off until Sunday night.

They left the hotel room and walked around Times Square again, getting used to the streets and finding little shops to spend time in. It felt like time wasn’t passing fast enough. Until all of a sudden it passed too quickly, and they were rushing to the bookstore, fueled by nerves and anxiety.

They walked in and stood near a bookshelf far enough away to not distract the speakers, but close enough to see them. Lance wasn’t speaking yet, and they couldn’t see him from where they stood.

“My stomach is twisting in knots,” Pidge breathed.

“I know.” Hunk put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

They stood there for the presentation of the author and then for the presentation of another.

Then finally one of the workers introduced Lance. Pidge saw him stand from a seat on the side, his back to her and Hunk. She felt Hunk’s hand slide into hers as they watched their friend stand up in front of a group of teens and kids and parents with the same smile he had since they were teens.

His hair was gelled to the side, a bit shorter than the picture at the back of Pidge’s book.

As he started speaking, Pidge pressed closer to Hunk, desperate for her anchor as the emotions flooded over her. They couldn’t hear what he was saying very well, and Hunk gently nudged her to a bookshelf that was closer. His voice reached them and Pidge stifled a disbelieving laugh into her hand.

“Does anyone have any questions for Mr. McClain?” the worker asked.

A few hands went up and when Lance chose someone, the kid asked, “How you come up with all the exciting stuff for your books? They make me feel like it’s happening for real, and that’s really cool.”

Lance smiled and thanked him for his question. “Well, I’m a war vet. And when I got back home I had a lot of nightmares. I found that making my memories into something more fantasy-like, it was easier to deal with. The paladins are inspired by friends I had.” The little kid nodded, eyes wide as he sat down.

Another set of hands went up and Lance called on another person, this one a little older. “I like writing, but I always feel like I’m not good enough to write a book. Do you have any advice for people who feel like that?”

“Well, I didn’t know I liked writing until I started doing it to cope,” he answered. “But I can tell you that no matter what you do, no matter what your passion is, you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Everyone has a style, a different taste. When it comes to writing, I’ll say this- don’t write to get published. Don’t write for other people. You have to write for yourself because that’s how you’re going to be satisfied with your work. And most of all, don’t give up. Don’t ever stop writing, if it’s something you really like doing.”

Pidge smiled to herself and turned to wrap her arms around Hunk.

Lance was still such a kind and encouraging person. His voice felt familiar and it was taking everything in Pidge not to rush forward and see if he recognized her. Instead, she kept her hold on Hunk and tried to keep her tears at bay. Hunk hugged her tightly and took a shaky breath.

A few more people asked questions, and Pidge was certain they wouldn’t stop until the worker had interrupted to let them know the writers needed a break before doing signings. Pidge kept her eyes on Lance as he walked over to the café to order something and sat down, rolling his sleeves up.

“Now?” she asked Hunk softly.

He shook his head. “No, he has to do the signing. If we go now, we risk freaking him out too much.” She looked up at him, surprised to see the tears on his cheeks. He wasn’t crying profusely, but seeing that expression on his face broke Pidge’s heart. She wrapped her arms around him again and tried resisting the urge to wipe his tears away.

They didn’t stray far, trying to keep an eye on Lance until he came back to a long table the store had set up for signings. There was along line that crowded the store, and Pidge and Hunk sighed, waiting impatiently for it to dwindle down. It wasn’t until a worker had cut off the line after who knew how long that people stopped lining up. It also meant Pidge and Hunk wouldn’t be able to get in line.

They watched as the last person got their books signed and as the authors each packed up and got ready to leave. Pidge glanced at Hunk who nodded as Lance slung a messenger bag on and started walking away, grabbing his wrist and wincing.

They hurried after him and Pidge risked reaching out to touch his arm. Lance turned in confusion then froze as he looked at Pidge and Hunk in turn.

Pidge gulped and looked at Hunk. She looked back at Lance and smiled nervously. “Hey, Sharpshooter.”

Lance gasped and stepped back, his entire stance tense. Pidge bit her lip and Hunk stepped in front of her. “Hey, man… do you… know who we are?”

Lance continued to stare at them, his expression frozen in what looked like fear. He stepped back again, knocking over a display of books. The three of them jumped and Pidge covered her mouth trying to think of how to approach him.

“Lance?” she asked softly. His blue eyes returned to them, panicked and wary. “It’s us, Lance.” He kept staring at them, silent, his eyes flitting from one to the other, his hands gripping the straps of his messenger bag tightly. “You remember us, right?”

Slowly, the tension left Lance and his expression softened. “H-Hunk? Pidge?”

Pidge smiled through her tears and nodded.

Suddenly, Lance was throwing himself at her, hugging her so tightly she couldn’t breathe. But she didn’t care. “Oh my God. Oh my God you’re here. You’re really here.” He pulled away, his eyes filled with tears. He turned to Hunk and hugged him even tighter, stifling a sob into his shoulder. “I thought I’d never see you again.” Hunk was really crying now, and Pidge didn’t even bother trying to stop the tears streaming down her face. “H-How did you find me? Where have you been?”

“We found your books,” Pidge said, laughing nervously. A few people were looking at them, confused with the scene, but she didn’t care. “And Hunk found out you were going to be here…. I had no idea you were in New York.”

“No kidding, I had no idea you guys were either!” he exclaimed. He kept one hand in Pidge’s and the other on Hunk’s arm, like he was afraid they would disappear if he wasn’t holding onto them. Pidge knew the feeling well.

“We’re not,” Hunk answered, wiping his eyes. “I live in Nevada, I have a bakery. And Pidge is at MIT. She found my bakery in December.”

“You mean… you guys just met back up too?” They nodded. “Well… have you heard from the others? Shiro, Allura, Coran?” He paused, his eyebrows furrowing. “Keith?”

They shook their heads and Pidge squeezed his hand. “No. No one has any way to contact them. Like I said we only found you because my roommate’s little brother reads your books. She recognized the lions on Hunk’s cakes.” Lance raised an eyebrow, but Hunk just smiled. “We thought you’d still be in Cuba.”

Lance chuckled and shook his head. “No, I left home a couple years ago. Things have been a little harsh, so I pulled a few strings and moved my family to Florida. Once the books went through, I came here to New York.” He cleared his throat and looked around. “Why don’t we go somewhere without so many people?” Hunk and Pidge laughed and agreed. They followed him as he walked the streets.

Pidge was between them and couldn’t help but feel more at home. It was familiar to walk between the two of them, Lance’s long gait and Hunk’s quick steps making her nearly sprint to keep up. But she was so excited, she had the energy to keep up anyway.

Before long, Lance led them to an apartment where they were met with a medium sized dog jumping on the excitedly. Hunk leaned down to pet him and Lance chuckled as he took his sweater off. “That’s Leon.”

“What kind of dog is he?” Pidge asked, leaning down to let the dog sniff her hand.

“Husky Shepard mix. He’s three years old. Come here, boy!” Lance called him back and filled a bowl with food. Hunk and Pidge stood up, looking around the small apartment. “It’s not much, but….” He shrugged.

“Dude I share an apartment with three other girls. I’d take this any day,” Pidge answered with a laugh. Lance smiled and stayed quiet, looking at them both with a sad look in his eyes. “What is it?” Pidge asked softly.

Lance shook his head and sat on the couch. “Just remembering the last time I saw you guys. I keep feeling like you’re going to disappear. Like maybe I’ve finally gone crazy and you’re not even here.”

“Yeah, that feeling takes a while to go away. But we’re here, buddy,” Hunk said, sitting next to him.

“The trio’s back together,” Pidge said with a teary smile. Lance smiled and took one of their hands in each of his. Pidge didn’t want to keep crying, so she wiped her face and squeezed Lance’s hand. “So, since when are you a writer, hotshot?”

Lance laughed and looked at them nervously. “I hope it was okay I made our experience into books. It’s just… I was going to therapy and I kept reliving everything vividly. My family couldn’t understand, and I had no idea if I wanted to find you guys or how to. My therapist ended up asking me to keep a journal each time I felt overwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, my editor fixes a lot of it,” he chuckled. He sniffed and shrugged. “It made it easier, putting it all out on paper. Or, well a screen, you know. I showed them to my therapist and he just offhandedly said I could write books about the experience. So I started making them a little funnier, changed the names, and started submitting. It took a long time before I found an agent.”

“Of course it’s okay,” Hunk said. “We all cope in the best way we can. I bake, you write. Pidge drowns in college work.”

“Haha, very funny,” she said making a face at him. “I’ve been reading them. I’m on the sixth one.”

“Seriously?” he asked with a smile. “Remind me to thank your roommate’s brother.” Pidge laughed and nodded, sitting beside Lance.

For the next couple of hours, they talked and caught up, mainly listening to Lance talk and answering questions he gave them. Being together felt comfortable. It felt right. Leon joined them on the couch, providing comfort for moments that became too emotional.

After long hours going between crying and laughing, they decided on going somewhere to eat, and Pidge excused herself to freshen up in the bathroom. Her eyes were red and puffy, irritated and sore. But she didn’t mind it as much as she thought she would. She’d gotten her friend back and he was okay and he missed them as much as she missed him. The fact that they’d all lost touch seemed like such a stupid decision in retrospect. But she supposed they all had some healing to do.

She splashed her face with cold water, hoping to soothe her face and blew her nose. She took a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair, untangling a few knots. She left the bathroom and went back to the living room where Lance was laughing maniacally and Hunk just looked exasperated.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Lance is being Lance,” he said with a sigh.

Lance wrapped his arms around and smirked. “Come on. You missed me.”

Hunk smiled at that and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I did. Now come on, I’m ready to try this famous New York pizza everyone talks about.”

\--

When they went out, Pidge felt her mind sliding back into the comfortable mode where she felt at ease. She could let her guard down and allow herself to break the façade of being completely normal. They scarfed down two large pizzas, making jokes and laughing the entire time. It felt like they were back in the Garrison, spending the nights at one of their rooms on the weekends, indulging in video games and mindless chatter.

“So, any romantic endeavors I need to be caught up on?” Lance asked, smirking at them.

Pidge grimaced and shook her head. “None worth mentioning.”

“Nope,” Hunk responded. “What about you?”

Lance grumbled but sighed as he popped a piece of pepperoni into his mouth. “Not really. I keep trying to open up to someone, and I get really close, but I panic at the last second and just… shut down. I’ll get all excited, thinking that maybe this person is someone who I can be with and feel normal with… then I freak out and shut them out or cut them off.” He sighed and shrugged. “I’m a romantic, and yet I can’t bring myself to risk a relationship.”

Pidge glanced at Hunk sharing a worried look with him before nudging Lance’s foot gently. He smiled and shook his head, eating the rest of his pizza.

“I’m alright. I mean, I guess I have learned from my experiences anyway. Gotta try to take a shot at least, right? What’s life without a little risk.”

“I think we’ve done enough risking in our lives,” Hunk mumbled. Lance shot him a look, and Pidge snorted. “So, Pidge had the wonderful idea of getting drunk tonight. What do you say?”

“I say what better way to spend a Saturday night reunited with my best friends?”

Pidge smirked and they left, following Lance as he moved expertly among the crowd of people and led them to a bar.

Before long, Lance was singing along to the jukebox in the back, sitting on the table and swaying with his arms wrapped around his friends. Pidge felt pleasantly dizzy, giggling at everything from Lance’s singing to Hunk’s occasional glances at her. Lance managed to convince Hunk to sing with him and Pidge laughed delightedly, snapping pictures with her phone. Suddenly, Lance took her phone then pulled her in, dancing with her. Pidge tilted her head back and laughed delightedly, stumbling over her feet to join him. Hunk watched from the booth where they sat with a smile that made Pidge feel warm and giddy.

When the song was over, they sat back down and ordered some food to keep their senses intact before the alcohol became too much. They were too loud and talked too fast, but it didn’t matter. Because they were together again and the amount of joy that brought them couldn’t be tampered down by annoyed looks given by other people at the bar.

When they left that night, the cold air and the walk back managed to sober Pidge up. She felt light and happy. She’d sent Matt several pictures through the night, not caring if he knew she was at a bar. She’d been with Hunk and Lance; she was safe.

As they walked, they passed up Broadway and Lance had the marvelous idea of making a stranger take a picture of the three of them posing in front of a Hamilton poster with three women, the three of them mimicking their pose, and Pidge couldn’t stop laughing even for the picture.

Once they’d arrived at the hotel, Lance gave them each his number and then hugged them tightly. “Let’s get together again tomorrow, okay? Breakfast on me.”

“Of course. We’ll text you in the morning,” Hunk said.

Lance nodded but lingered. Pidge could tell by the look in his eyes that the last thing he wanted was to leave them. He sighed and stepped back. “I love you guys. Have a good night.”

“Night, Lance,” Pidge said with a smile. They stood there until he’d walked away, down the street. Then they went up to their hotel room. “I’m gonna take a shower before bed,” Pidge said through a yawn as they entered the room.

Hunk nodded and sat on his bed, pulling out his laptop.

Pidge locked herself in the bathroom. After she showered, she wrapped her towel around herself and wiped away the steam on the mirror. She sighed as she looked at her blurred reflection, the image distorted by the residual water clinging to the mirror. She seemed somehow paler in this light. Her hair stuck to her forehead and stuck together in wet clumps on one side of her head, while the hair on the other side spiked up, eager to find its proper form around her face now that it was longer. Her arms were bulky, her shoulders wide. She looked down to see her legs, scarred and bulky as well.

She hated how self-conscious she’d gotten recently. She never used to compare herself, but as of late, it was all she could do. She regretted her haircut, even though when she’d just gotten it, she’d felt more comfortable with herself. She longed for longer legs, tanner skin, less freckles, a smaller waist and wider hips and bigger boobs.

She just wanted to stop looking like a child. She couldn’t help but think that there was no way Hunk would ever see her as more than the boyish girl from the Garrison. And no, Hunk wasn’t that shallow, but who could ever feel their heart race over someone who still looked twelve, fifteen at most, and never seemed to grow into her figure?

Scowling at her reflection, she turned away and forced herself not to look at the mirror again until she was dressed and brushing her teeth. Even then, she tried to keep her mind off of her reflection. She was more than her appearance. She was smart and brave and independent. There was no need to keep moping over wanting to look different.

When she left the bathroom, her things in hand, she ruffled her hair to help it dry out and walked over to her bed, not wanting to look at Hunk. As she settled on her bed, she grabbed her hoodie and tossed it on over her tank top, fumbling for her book that rested on the bedside table.

Hunk left his bed and walked over to hers, sitting on the edge. Pidge looked at him, confused. “How are you feeling about today’s events?” he asked.

“Better. I feel like I have a few more pieces of me back,” she admitted. “It was nice to hang out together again like we used to.”

Hunk smiled and nodded. “Yeah. It’s funny. When I saw you in my bakery, I felt nothing but pure relief. That you were okay, that you were there, that you recognized me.” Pidge gulped and tried not to fidget. “I didn’t want to let you out of my sight either. Today when we saw Lance… I guess it’s because we knew we were going to find him, but… I felt kind of terrified. Especially when it looked like he hadn’t recognized us.”

“I think he was just shocked,” she answered gently, her hand starting for his, then stopping to simply rest on her knee. They were sharing a hotel room. She couldn’t make things weird right now.

He nodded and chuckled, running a hand through his hair. The way it fell over his eyes made Pidge’s breath hitch. “Yeah, probably. But… I don’t know.”

“Hey,” she said, nudging his side with her foot. “He’s not going to disappear. We have his number, and we’re not letting go of each other anymore.” Hunk’s eyes stayed on her for a moment, eyebrows furrowed. He nodded and looked away. “We just needed time to heal, Hunk.”

He nodded and rubbed his face. “Yeah, you’re right. I think… today’s just been overwhelming. And the alcohol is still making me think too much. I’m gonna shower.” He stood up and smiled at her before walking over to the bathroom.

She sat back, trying to ignore the way her heartbeat wouldn’t slow down just because he had been so close. His eyes and his smiled were so warm and kind and she couldn’t help the way every nerve in her body reacted to them. She felt like a schoolgirl with a crush, and when Hunk was gone, she felt ridiculous for it. But when he was with her, she felt calmer about it. Like she’d given in to the emotions and didn’t care for the repercussions.

With a sigh, she cleared her head and opened her book to read.

Hunk had come out of the bathroom, smelling sweet and damp and Pidge glanced over to see him toweling his hair dry, muscles bulging as he stretched and let himself fall onto the bed. She quickly pulled her eyes away when he shifted.

She cleared her throat and put her book down. “You mind if I keep the lamp on?”  she asked.

Hunk yawned and shook his head. “I don’t mind. Goodnight, Pidge.”

“Night, Hunk,” she answered. He turned onto his stomach and gripped his pillow tight, shutting his eyes. Meanwhile, Pidge returned to her book.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed. She just knew she was almost halfway and she was intrigued by the events despite knowing what came next. It was just so different seeing it all through Lance’s eyes.

But it wasn’t until she’d come to a break in the action that she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion at the words on the page.

_I couldn’t help but laugh at Chuck as we walked back from the control room after Jamie’s spiel about the princess’ health getting better. He seemed so nervous and kept tugging at the bandana on his head. It was a wonder the others couldn’t tell._

_“You know, you could always just tell her.”_

_He looked at me like I was crazy. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

_“Look, man,” I said, stopping him in his tracks. “We’re out here fighting a space war. You don’t know if one day she won’t come back. Or maybe you won’t.”_

_“Don’t say stuff like that,” he grumbled. He walked away and I let him, knowing how touchy he could be about the risk of any of us not coming back._

Pidge shifted and tried to understand where that conversation had been going. Had Hunk liked Allura? There was no way. Not with the way Lance always flirted with her…. Although he had stopped for a while. She couldn’t help the tug in her gut as she recalled Allura, tall and dark and regal.

She ignored the feeling and kept reading.

_It wasn’t long before I found Chuck in the kitchen, cooking like he always did when he was stressed. I walked in and leaned against a counter, trying to figure out how to talk to him. Not only because I was a sucker for romance and love stories, but because if these things festered too long, I knew it could interfere with the formation of Zurtron._

_“Hey, buddy?” I started. He kept cooking, only his eyes flickering to me as any sign of him listening. “I didn’t mean to upset you. But I mean, we’ve been friends since we started at the Garmine. I know you, and you’re not really hiding this crush well.”_

_Chuck looked at me, his cheeks flushed. “Leo, I really don’t know what you’re talking about. We just carried out what was our most intense mission yet and the princess needs time to heal. That’s what we should be focusing on.”_

_“If you don’t tell Jamie, it’s going to eat you alive.”_

Pidge lurched forward, eyebrows furrowing further.

_Chuck rolled his eyes, but his shoulders slumped in defeat. “I can’t do that to her. Not when we’re stuck in space. What if… she wants to get away from me and she can’t? I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.” He turned away and looked at me sheepishly. “I risk losing her friendship and messing up the ability to form Zurtron if I tell Jamie how I feel about her.”_

Pidge squeaked and let the book drop onto her knees. Her heart was pounding, and a nervous heat wave had rolled from her neck to her face. As she put her hand to her mouth to quiet her anxious murmurs, she realized she was shaking.

How he felt about her? Her, not the princess? At this age? At this time? It was all so confusing, that Pidge wondered if she’d read correctly, wondered if she was getting ahead of herself and misinterpreting something. She read over the paragraphs again and kept going, wondering if there would be any damn clarification about what exactly these “feelings” were.

Of course, there was no straight forward answer. There was no line that simply read, _Chuck had romantic feelings for Jamie._ No, it had to all be a brief passing conversation about the strengthening of their friendship and the importance of sacrifice when it came to the team.

Pidge grabbed her phone and sent Lance a text of the paragraph and a series of question marks. She stared at her phone desperately until his response came in.

_lololol_

She scowled and shut her book, confused and annoyed and shocked. She had half a mind to wake Hunk up and demand an explanation.

It didn’t make any sense anyway. She’d been… an awkward fifteen year old girl, lanky and bony and flat in all forms of the word. These were the days when Hunk had seen her roll out of bed with a bird’s nest of hair and a cranky expression until she’d eaten something. These were the days Hunk had seen her fall asleep over her work and ended up carrying her to her room because she was so tired she couldn’t manage to stay awake long enough to walk herself.

This was her at her most awkward, juvenile state. And she was supposed to believe he liked her then?

She looked over at Hunk, sleeping soundly and tried to picture it. But she couldn’t fathom it. She took a deep, steadying breath and turned off the lamp before she bundled herself up under her covers, trying to shut her brain up long enough to fall asleep. But she could only stare at the ceiling and mutter, “What the fuck did I just read?”


	7. Reminds Me of When

The rain fell in heavy sheets and felt like acid. Every drop burned, but nothing burned more than her lungs. Her feet kept slipping, but she stood up and ran forward. Because this wasn’t possible. It wasn’t possible.

Her hand reached the stone memorial engraved with the name _Matthew Holt._ But this wasn’t true. Pidge knew that. He was alive and he was okay and she’d found him already, so why was she here?

The rain was starting to suffocate her, burning through her clothes and making its way into her lungs. Pidge clawed at the stone, desperate to find the encrypted message, but all she saw was Matt’s name and a series of swirls. She knew the coordinates…. But she couldn’t remember them. She racked her brain, knowing the information was there, but unable to reach it.

Something knocked her down to her knees, but instead of hitting the ground, she found herself falling into an abyss. She clawed at the dirt coated walls closing in on her, trying to bring herself to a stop, but each time her hands touched the dirt, they would slip through like it was water.

When she felt sturdy ground beneath her again, she looked up to see her father, her mother, and Matt sitting at the dining table from her childhood home. She called out for them, started walking toward them. But as she did burning holes began to spread across Matt’s skin, burning him away. Her father and mother began to age, their bodies thinning. They became pale and their faces sagged until they were nothing but bones at the table.

Pidge screamed for them, begging them not to leave her alone. As her hands touched the bones, willing them to come back, they deteriorated to dust.

This wasn’t right. This wasn’t right. She had her brother. He couldn’t be gone. What were those stupid coordinates?

Suddenly she was staring at open caskets, skeletons propped inside like gruesome mannequins. When Pidge looked up, her chest felt like it was going to burst at the sight of the Altean witch. Her purple magic reached the caskets, and the muscles and skin began to grow back.

It was horrifying to watch but as much as Pidge tried to look away, to wake herself up, she couldn’t. She just felt herself sinking deeper and deeper in her spot. Her family’s skin looked gray and spotted, no eyes, no teeth. Some twisted part of her wondered if she could still have her family back. But more than anything, she knew she couldn’t let them stay like this.

The witch’s laughter echoed behind them and Pidge could hardly see past the tears in her eyes. She looked down to see her bayard in her hands and when she activated it, instead of her usual electrifying, retractable weapon, it elongated into a dagger.

Her family was reaching for her, disfigured and blurry and dead. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t kill them again, couldn’t move any of her limbs. She felt one hand on her and screamed. Another clamped on her throat. Her blade clattered to the ground. Suddenly, Matt had in it his hands and held it to her heart.

“ _Pidge!”_

She gasped and sat up in bed, trembling violently. Sobs racked her body until she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see anything around her which made her panic even more.

“Pidge, look at me, can you hear me?” she heard.

She searched frantically for Hunk’s face, but couldn’t stop her head from jerking back, an uncontrollable tick resulting from the hysteria she felt in her chest and expulsed in petrified sobs.

Warm hands encased her face and she realized her entire body was coiled tightly Her vision swayed slightly due to the dizziness that came from being unable to catch her breath.

“Pidge, it was a nightmare. It wasn’t real. It’s not real anymore. You’re safe.” His voice slowly began to tether her back to reality. Thumbs brushed against her cheeks, and she blinked, focusing on Hunk’s brown eyes, blown wide in worry. “Good, look at me. Listen to me. You’re safe. You’re with me, okay? It was just a nightmare.”

Pidge managed a nod and Hunk scooped her up in one swoop, encasing her tightly. He ran his fingers through her hair, shushing her as she shook in his arms.

“Breathe, Pidge,” he encouraged.

She tried, but felt her body shake from the effort.

“I j-just wa-want it t-t-to st-sto-stop,” she stammered. Her face contorted and she gripped the fabric of his shirt like it was a lifeline, pressing her face into the warmth of his shoulder as she wailed. “Wh-when wi-will it-it s-stop?”

She could recall her parents, the way they’d both withered away to nothing and left her. She thought of Matt and how close she’d been to losing him. She couldn’t bring herself to close her eyes because she’d see the disfigured bodies reaching for her, hurting her.

Why did she get this life? This life of horrors and loss? More than anything, she just wanted to be normal. To have lived a good life with her parents, a life where they embarrassed her when she brought a boy home, when she got to go to high school and prom, where she’d been able to talk to her mom about boys and wear dresses.

Instead, she was plagued by the memories in her dreams and had to relive her losses time and time again, reminded by every scar on her body of the things she’d endured. And yes, she had been strong enough to push through, to make it to where she was now. But she didn’t want to have needed to be that strong.

Hunk was still trying to calm her down, one arm wrapped around her tightly, the other stroking her hair as he rocked back and forth.

It took a few minutes, but she’d finally managed to get her breathing back to normal and managed to quiet her sobs down to a few sniffs. The ticks continued, and her hands still shook, but she didn’t feel afraid anymore. Now, she just felt… sad. She missed her mom, her dad, the life she had before the Garrison. She missed being innocent and young and careless.

Once she’d calmed down enough, Hunk pulled back a bit and squeezed her hand. “Let me get you some water, okay?” he whispered.

She nodded, moving mutely so he could stand and get her water. When he came back, Pidge took the water and tried to drink it slowly.

“Do you want to go back to sleep?” Hunk asked.

She frowned and looked at the clock on the nightstand. Four in the morning. She took a nervous breath and managed to croak out, “I’m scared to fall asleep.”

Hunk nodded and grabbed the book on her dresser. “Do you want to read? Would that help or make it worse?”

She stared at the book, a hazy memory of the last thing she read making her stomach twist. She shook her head and gulped. “Can’t read right now.”

“Do you want to watch something on the television? I could put that TV show you liked when you came over.”

She hesitated, and nodded. Hunk stood up and she reached out to grab his arm. She needed him as a friend right now. Crush aside, she felt too unsettled and afraid to be alone, even if Hunk would be a mere five feet away. She needed to know there was someone alive and warm besides herself. Someone good. She needed her best friend.

Hunk frowned and raised an eyebrow inquisitively. Pidge gulped and forced herself to look at him. “Could you stay with me?” she whispered.

His gaze softened and he nodded. “Of course.” He pulled away gently, connecting the laptop to the television, playing the 90’s sitcom that had made Pidge laugh so much before. He went to his suitcase and then went back to her with a shirt in hand. “Your sweater is clinging to you. Do you wanna change so you can be more comfortable?”

She gave him a grateful smile and stood, taking the shirt from him. She peeled off her hoodie, grateful for the cool air of the hotel room that hit her heated skin. She was also grateful that she’d thought to wear a tank top the night before instead of just the hoodie. She slipped into Hunk’s shirt, the scent familiar and comforting.

Then she shuffled over to him where he was laying down on her bed and focused on the warmth of his living body, fighting the heaviness of her eyelids. It wasn’t long before Hunk was snoring softly behind her, his arm draped over her waist. Pidge watched the sitcom, managing a small smile now and then.

She knew she couldn’t fight off sleep for much longer. She turned slightly, careful not to wake Hunk. She curled in closer so her ear was pressed to his chest. The thumping of his heart had a steady rhythm, anchoring her to where she was.

She sighed and let her eyes close, ready to face whatever laid behind her eyelids.

\--

The next morning, Pidge woke up to an empty bed. She sat up and frowned, looking over at Hunk’s bed. It was empty too. She got up and went to the bathroom, washed her hands, brushed her teeth, and finger-combed her hair.

When she opened the bathroom door, the door to the hotel room opened and she heard a throaty chuckle and Lance’s voice.

Panic spiked in her at the sound, and for a crazy moment, she wondered if they were talking about what she’d read in the books. But then Lance said, “Honestly, how do you run out of chocolate donuts by ten in the morning?”

“Oh hey, you’re awake,” Hunk said with a smile when he saw her.

She gave him a nod and a small smile. “Hey, Lance,” she greeted.

She noticed his eyes skirt over her clothes and he raised an eyebrow. When she hugged him, she made sure to pinch his shoulder. “Good to see you, Pidge,” he managed to say through clenched teeth.

“We brought donuts,” Hunk announced, pointing at the bag Lance had.

“And orange juice,” Lance added, handing her one. “So, any plans for today?”

Pidge shook her head and plopped back down on her bed as Lance opened the donuts and Hunk scrolled through Netflix. “Our flight isn’t until later tonight. We have all day.”

“Sweet,” he said, plopping down beside her. His eyes skirted over to the book on the nightstand. He elbowed her and gestured to it, his eyes flicking to Hunk.

She shook her head and he rolled his eyes, smirking. “So, how rich are you Mr. Author, because I’ve heard good things about that Hamilton musical, and I expect you to get us front row seats.”

“Oh, yeah, totally. Backstage passes too,” he answered sarcastically. Pidge laughed and nudged him playfully. “I haven’t even seen the show. I try the lower priced musicals.” She shrugged and bit into her donut. “I mean is there anything you guys wanna see? Rockefeller? Statue of Liberty? Long Island? Montauk Beach?”

Hunk chuckled as he played a romantic comedy and sat with them. “Buddy, we came to see you. We did that, and it’s more than enough. If you want to take us somewhere, we’ll go. Even if it’s the Dumpster yard.” Lance snorted, but his cheeks reddened, which made Pidge link her arm to his and lean against him. “If you want to lay around and watch movies, we’re down for that too.”

“That does sound fun,” Lance chuckled. “We could go to my place after the movie. That way Leon won’t be alone, and if we get hungry we can cook something.”

“We?” Pidge asked.

“Okay, _Hunk_ can make us something.”

Hunk laughed and shook his head. “Even when I’m not working, I’m working.”

“We love you,” Lance offered. Hunk gave him a look and rolled his eyes. “He loves us,” he assured Pidge. She laughed and continued to eat her donut.

There was a part of her that felt like there were things unsaid between the three of them. Traumas and nightmares and maybe even grudges. But they only had today to be together like they used to be, and none of them wanted to spend the time crying and falling apart.

So the silence was welcomed as they sat back to watch the movie and eat donuts. Of course, they each made an occasional sarcastic comment in regards to the characters on the movie or the cheesy plot.

Once the movie was over, Pidge went to the bathroom to change into better clothes for the day. She and Hunk packed up so they wouldn’t be rushing at the end of the day before going with Lance to his apartment. Hunk immediately fell to the floor to greet the dog and Pidge couldn’t help but smile as she walked over to the couch and splayed herself out.

Lance sat on her stomach and she groaned, but he didn’t bother to move as he turned on the television. Hunk sat on the floor by the couch, playing tug of war with Leon.

After another movie, Lance began to groan about being hungry, and the three of them went to the kitchen to scavenge for food.

Somehow Hunk managed to get just enough ingredients to make some stir-fry meanwhile Pidge and Lance sat on the counter and watched, making jokes and laughing until the smell of food made their stomachs growl in anticipation.

Once the food was ready, Hunk went to the bathroom, trusting Pidge and Lance to serve the food. Once Pidge saw the way Lance piled his food on his plate, she knew it had been a bad decision.

“So,” he began suggestively. Pidge felt herself blush, but remained speechless. “Did you really not know?”

“I still think you just added that in there for a romance aspect,” she mumbled.

Lance rolled his eyes as Pidge served Hunk’s plate. “I didn’t. Did you not ask him about it?”

Pidge grimaced and walked to the living room, settling down with their food. “Even so, that was years ago. What point would there be in asking now?”

He shrugged and tilted his head. “Well, you’re blushing so I can only assume-”

“Shut up,” she hissed as the bathroom door opened. Hunk walked back to them then froze at the sight of Lance’s plate. “Don’t worry I managed to get you some before Lance hogged it,” she said, gesturing to his plate.

Hunk chuckled and sat beside her, thanking her. “I forgot just how much you love to pile up your food, Lance,” he said with a smile.

At some point after eating their food, sitting and watching movies became a little frustrating. It wasn’t that it wasn’t nice to lounge around, but Pidge had been used to always doing something whenever she was with Hunk and Lance. It was like some habit in her muscle memory had been awakened by having them both together and next to her.

She felt antsy, like she had to be busy, had to do _something._

She resorted to playing with Leon. Then she resorted to washing the dishes. Then she mindlessly started tidying up the apartment.

Eventually Lance asked, “Uh, Pidge… you okay?”

She nodded, but realized what she’d been doing and huffed. “I don’t know I feel really restless, is all.” She walked over and sat down with them again. “I love hanging out with you guys, but it’s like I’m used to always doing something else at the same time. Solving an encrypted code, fixing something, rescuing someone. It’s weird that we’re finally being normal after all this time.”

“Geez, Pidge,” Lance said, feigning offense. “Just tell us you’re bored of us and be done with it.”

She laughed and nudged him playfully. “Come on, you know that’s not what I was saying.” He laughed and relented. “Actually, spending time with you guys has made me feel more normal than I have in a long time,” she said softly. “I don’t feel like such a freak when I’m with you.”

“You’re not a freak, Pidge,” Hunk said, knocking his knee against hers.

“Exactly. We’re just war vets. Traumatized and fucked up, but… we’re fucked up together. And that makes it suck less now that you guys found me,” Lance said with a smile.

“I like that,” Hunk said with a heart stopping smirk. “We’re fucked up together.”

“Pretty fucked up,” Pidge agreed, laughing

\--

For the rest of the day, they did continue to watch movies, but often ended up getting distracted with conversation. Pidge couldn’t help but bask in the comfort of being with her two best friends. With people who truly understood her and people she truly understood. Socializing had always been a little difficult for Pidge because she always worked better with technology. She was a logical, textbook type of person.

After Voltron, it had only gotten worse because she felt like she was constantly holding up a front, and each day it got heavier. Even now that Samantha knew, Pidge had her guard up.

It wasn’t like that with Hunk and Lance.

But the weekend didn’t last forever, especially Sundays. It wasn’t long before Pidge and Hunk were back at their hotel room, taking turns hugging Lance tightly before he left.

“Don’t forget about me okay?” he said, trying to pass it off as a joke, but the tremor in his voice gave him away.

“Never,” she said. “We have each other’s numbers now. I’m three hours away by car. We’re not going to lose track of each other ever again,” she promised.

Hunk brought them both into a much needed group hug, and Pidge couldn’t help the tears that pricked her eyes. “We’re going to talk every day, Lance. We didn’t come all this way to find you just to let you go,” Hunk told him.

He smiled and hugged him tightly before turning to Pidge and hugging her. “You guys be careful and let me know when you land, okay?” They nodded and he took a deep breath as he started for the door. “See you both later,” he finally said with a sad smile before leaving.

The click of the door echoed and Pidge felt an uncomfortable weight settle in her chest. It was weird because she knew she’d see Lance again. It was just… after going so long, risking not seeing each other again, she was used to that fear. That each time she’d say goodbye, it would be the last.

Only they didn’t say goodbye this time. It was a “see you later.” She tried to hold onto that to soothe the tightening in her chest.

She went into the bathroom to brush her teeth before she tried to take a nap. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she felt like she recognized herself a bit more, scars, bulk, and all.

She double- or triple- checked her things to be sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. Hunk had gone to brush his teeth, leaving Pidge to have nothing to do but stare at the book on the night stand. She sighed and tapped her finger nervously against her knee.

When she picked the book back up, she opened to the last page she’d read, reading it over and over, trying to find any double meaning in it. Something that made it unrealistic. But the more she read, the more obvious it seemed to be.

She thought back to the countless nights they’d spent pouring over some piece of work in comfortable silence, to the midnight snacks and whispers in the kitchen, to the way Hunk would jump to protect and defend her in every battle whether with his lion or by hand.

Hunk had always been there. He’d always known who she was. Even when she admitted she was a girl, Hunk had simply said, “I already knew.” But he’d waited for her to be comfortable with admitting it. He never treated her as less.

He had always been her anchor, an extension of herself that she knew like the back of her hand. Maybe these feelings were from years ago, but Pidge still had a right to know and understand for sure.

He door to the bathroom opened and Hunk yawned as he walked over to plop down on his bed. He rubbed his neck tiredly then looked at Pidge.

With his head dipped down, his hair falling in long strands across his forehead and eyes as he looked up at her, Pidge really couldn’t stop the storming butterflies in her stomach or the way her heart stuttered.

“I didn’t get a chance to ask you this morning, but are you feeling okay? After the nightmare and all?”

She shuddered as she recalled the corpses and fear and cold. She nodded and managed a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. Thank you for helping me through that.”

“Of course,” he answered.

Pidge nodded and gulped. She knew better than anyone that life and time were fleeting things and taking chances were something she had to do. If she could go into space, fight a war in a lion, find her brother out there, and still come back and get through college she could do this. She could sate her curiosity.

When she swallowed again, her tongue was dry. “Hunk?”

He hummed and looked at her. “You alright?”

She nodded and thumbed through her book. “Um. It’s just- I read something in here and I wanted to ask you about it,” she managed to spit out.

He chuckled and tilted his head. “We lived through all that. What could you possibly have to ask about?”

“Well, it’s not something I would’ve been aware of,” she said. She opened the book and stared at the words, afraid to look up and lose her nerve. “It says you- or I guess, your character- um….”

“What?” Hunk prodded, confused.

Pidge took a deep breath and laughed nervously.

Just spit it out. Spit it out. Spit. It. Ou-

“It says you had feelings for me at that time.”

She grimaced at her hands, feeling like she was drowning in the silence that ensued. She tried to remember to breathe and managed to look up and see Hunk, frozen and shocked where he sat.

“Um…. I’m not sure if it’s just something Lance threw in for romantic purposes, or if it’s real, but…. I guess I kind of wanted to know from you. If you… uh, liked me like that and when… yeah,” she finished lamely. She chewed on her lower lip and waited.

“Fucking Lance,” he muttered under his breath. “Can I… see?” She handed the book over and sat back, sitting on her hands. Hunk narrowed his eyes and then closed the book, chuckling into his hand. “Um… yeah. Yeah, that… that’s real. It wasn’t just added in.”

Pidge felt her face heat up, as she squeaked out a high pitched, “Oh.”

She waited, expecting something more. Something like, _but that was back then,_ or _yeah I liked you then but we were kids._ Just something more. But the topic was left there, hanging in the air, feeling unfinished.

Finally she asked, “Why?” He frowned and looked back at her questioningly. They were both perched on the edge of their beds and the space between them seemed to swallow what they said and didn’t say despite the silence in the room. She swallowed and let out a shaky breath. “I mean, why did you like me? I was… I was- I don’t know.”

“Smart? Determined? Strong?” Hunk finished for her. She looked at him, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. He looked frustrated, and he kept running a hand through his hair. “Pidge, you’ve got to stop putting yourself down. I don’t know why you do it, but it’s….” He sighed and stood up to kneel in front of her. Her eyes were wide, focused on him, and she knew her cheeks were a bright red. “You’re a hero, Pidge. If people knew the things we did, you’d be every little girl’s role model. Smart, quick-witted, and resilient.”

She tried to steady her breathing, but he was too close and making her nervous. She could feel the anxiety running over her like a heat wave, making her feel like a fly under a magnifying glass in the sun. “You never said anything,” she whispered.

“The last thing I needed was to push away my best friend.”

She crossed her arms and scowled. “I’m not that terrible of a person, Hunk!” she snapped. “You’re my best friend too, I wouldn’t have just… cut you off or something. You could have told me, why would you just assume that I’d want you to go away?”

He sa back on his heels and sighed. “I was a kid, Pidge! I was…. My crushes before had never gone over well. I didn’t want to risk that happening with you. You had more important things to focus on, we all did.”

She frowned and looked away, towards the floor. “So I find out five years later in a book,” she grumbled.

“Yeah, I’m gonna kill Lance for that.”

She kept glaring at the floor and took a very deep breath before her next question. “So when did you stop? Liking me, I mean. Because of Shay? Or when we came back home?”

No answer. She looked back at him to find his eyes on her. He looked like he was in pain. “Please don’t make me answer that,” he said, the words barely even a whisper.

She looked at him, confused and worried. “Why?”

His lips twitched into a soft, sad smile, his eyes darting away from her. “Because I don’t want to lie to you. But I also don’t want to lose you because I just got you back.”

Her heartbeat sped up and she could feel her hands shaking, longing to reach for him. “I just told you that you wouldn’t have before. Why would you lose me now?” Hunk furrowed his eyebrows, his shoulders tense, looking everywhere but at her. She reached out, turning his head to her. His eyes locked on hers immediately, but they were wide and afraid. “Hunk? Talk to me.”

He opened his mouth but promptly clamped it shut and shook his head.

Pidge could feel her heart pounding in her entire body. She knew the desperation was plain on her face in the way her eyebrows scrunched together, the way she kept biting her lip, the way her eyes searched frantically for something telling in Hunk’s face.

“Please?” she breathed.

His eyes opened and he looked her in the eyes. His shoulders slumped and he leaned into her hand. “Because now these feelings are a lot stronger than they were when I was seventeen.” Pidge gasped and jerked back slightly, staring at him in disbelief. “I didn’t stop. I thought I could live without you when we came back to Earth, but…. Everything came crashing back the second I saw you looking at me in the bakery. Freckled face, tousled hair, and… big, amber eyes,” he said with a smile, pulling back himself as if to give her space. “I’m so sorry, Pidge.”

She remained silent, shell-shocked. He still liked her. His feelings had grown. And he was… sorry for it?

He looked up, defeat coating his features. Like he was certain he’d made a big mistake.

Her entire body felt like it was shaking as she reached up to cup his face with her hands. His beard was rough beneath her palm but she didn’t mind. She’d been holding back from him for so long. She never had to. He still liked her. He still liked her. He still liked her.

Pidge leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, eyes shut. She felt like she’d opened a dam, and there was nothing she could do to stop the flood of emotion and memories that flowed from her. Endless smiles and jokes, fighting side by side, sleeping next to him, dancing in a dark living room, hungover mornings, laughter and comfort and…. _Hunk._

She pulled away and gasped as his hand caressed her face. “What was- why are you crying?” he stammered.

She rolled her eyes and leaned forward to kiss him again, smiling against his lips. “You should have told me. Instead of having me pine after you like one of those cheesy movies we watched today.”

“Pine?” he repeated, dumbly.

She looked him in the eyes and laughed softly. “Do you think you could stop thinking for a sec and just kiss me back?”

He let out a breathy, nervous laugh, but he pulled her in and kissed her. It was a little clumsy and uncertain, neither of them really used to the other this way. But between laughter and relieved, adoring gazes, they managed to figure each other out, their kisses slipping into something familiar and comfortable.

She laid against him, hearing the quick beating of his heart. His arms encased her and his lips left occasional kisses along her forehead or the crown of her head. She ran her fingers over the design of his tattoo. Her cheeks hurt from smiling, but she didn’t mind so much.

“Pidge?” She hummed. “How do you feel about long distance relationships?”

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow, trying to keep her smile from widening. “Is this you asking me to date you?”

He kissed her softly, making her chest swell with warmth and comfort. “Maybe,” he admitted.

She smiled and felt herself blush. “Yeah, I think they can work out with the right person.”

“You think we could make it work?”

She couldn’t help it. Her smile stretched further and she had to stifle adrenaline-filled, excited, relieved laughter into his shoulder. He kissed her forehead again, and she looked at him. “Yeah, I think we’ve got a pretty good chance.”  

Their flight was in a few hours, but for the moment, time wasn’t important. They were frozen in a perfect moment, filled with nervousness and joy and anticipation for what was to come. He would be back in Nevada within the next twelve hours, and she would be stuck in a classroom. But right now, they were in a small hotel room, with the world in their hands.

That was more than enough for them.


	8. Facts and Figures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! It's been a while, huh?

The amount of time the words “ _I told you so!”_ were thrown at her was ridiculous.

First, with Samantha. Hunk had walked her to the arrival pick-ups before going back in for his next flight, and she’d said goodbye to him with one more kiss to remember that everything had been real. When she got into the car, Samantha was shell-shocked. When she managed to regain her composure, she punched Pidge in the arm and said, “Was that what I think it was! What the hell happened in New York? _I told you so!”_

Then when she was back at her apartment, the girls had gathered around her with hot chocolate and asked eager questions, each of them squealing when Pidge told them the story of the first kiss and Hunk finally asking her out. Cue the series of _I told you so’s._

Then once she had caught up on her homework, she’d Skyped Lance and Hunk and was subjected to more victorious laughter and, “Oh my God, that’s golden! She found out in _my_ books, and now you’re dating. I’m fucking Cupid. I told you so! My man, you should’ve told her years ago! Pidge, I told you to just talk to him.”

And then there was Matt.

“ _You started dating and you didn’t tell me first?”_ he shrieked. Pidge groaned and held the phone away from her ear. “You little shit! Oh my God. First of all, I _fucking_ told you he liked you! And second, I need to call him. Oh man. Wait, so Lance had it in the books?”

“He’s liked me since we were paladins,” she explained. “He just never told me.”

“Dude. That’s a long ass unrequited crush.”

“Yeah, well, not anymore.”

“It’s seriously the most adorable thing ever in the history of forever. I call best man.”

Pidge started choking on air and felt her face go red. “Matt! It’s been like three days, please don’t jump ahead that much.”

“Alright, alright, but when the day comes, I’m saying I told you so again. Because your bro’s smart. Smarter than you obviously.”

“Uh, no. I was just… too close to the situation.” Matt burst into laughter and snorted. “Whatever! Okay, hey I got to get to bed, so I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure thing, Pidge. Goodnight, I love you.”

“Love you too. Goodnight.”

She hung up and smiled when she saw a goodnight text from Hunk.

\--

The relationship was… definitely interesting.

Pidge couldn’t say she had much experience since most of the guys she thought to give a chance were assholes that didn’t last a week. And the other guys were just lame crushes that still left her heartbroken. This was the first real relationship, in a way, and… it was long distance.

There wasn’t a honeymoon phase of cuddles and cute dates every weekend, no introductions to anyone, or handholding while walking down the street. It stung most when she was on campus and saw the couples walking together, getting coffee, kissing before parting ways for class.

But she didn’t want to give it up either. Because he texted her throughout the day, already knowing her schedule and knowing when she would disappear for class, wishing her luck. He’d call her when she got home to ask about her day. And he’d video call her when he got home just to see her.

It felt natural talking to him. She always got nervous when the phone rang or the computer brought up his username, but as soon as she heard his voice or saw his face, the panic faded and she felt okay. It was so easy to talk to him, and she couldn’t stop laughing or smiling. She was completely head over heels.

Still, not having him close, made the feelings feel a bit… hazy. It wasn’t to say Pidge’s feelings for Hunk were fuzzy. It was the memories. She tried holding on to those kisses they’d shared, to the feeling of being wrapped in his arms, but after three weeks, they felt distant. It was almost like they hadn’t happened and she was grasping desperately at the memories just to reassure herself that they were in fact dating, that they were more than friends.

“Pidge?” Hunk’s voice pulled her out of her mind and she smiled at her computer screen. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m okay. Just tired.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at her uncertainly. “Pidge, I know you. Did something happen…?” She shook her head. Before she could say she was okay, Hunk said, “Please talk to me, Pidge. I can’t be there to coax it out of you and I feel kind of useless through a screen.”

“You’re not useless!” She sighed and gave him a tired smile. He was looking at her with big brown eyes that still held some of the childish youth from when they’d met. He looked so worried it actually made her heart swell. “I’m okay. I just miss you. A lot.”

His expression softened and he leaned his head into his hand. “Yeah. I miss you too. Long distance is hard.”

“It just… it feels the same as when we were just friends, you know? There’s no handholding or kissing to say, hey this is more than that. And it’s messing with my head.” Hunk raised an eyebrow and looked away from the camera. “It just doesn’t feel real yet because we haven’t spent as much time together together as we have apart together?” He smiled at her jumbled words. “I sound stupid.”

“No!” He laughed and shook his head. “I get what you meant. Don’t you have spring break coming up?”

“Yeah. But I don’t have the cash to go home for just a week. And I don’t want you spending money on another ticket, so don’t even think about it!”

Hunk scoffed and looked at her in disbelief. “What’s so bad about spending a little to see my girlfriend?”

She blushed and covered her face at the word, smiling like an idiot. “It’s sweet,” she said. “But I can’t ask you to keep taking time away from your job. You can’t leave the bakery for a week just for me.” Hunk looked like he wanted to protest but she shook her head, resolute. “No. Nope. We’re not going to be one of those couples that just stops giving a shit about work and school because they’re so wrapped up in each other. We’re not gonna be reckless.”

Hunk laughed again and looked at her with a sweet, adoring gaze that made Pidge blush. “Okay, you dork,” he said softly. She smiled triumphantly. “Are we gonna be one of those couples where the girl is always right?”

“Oh, come on. That’s always been me.” Hunk snorted and shook his head. “Mm, what about pet names? You know, cutesy little shit like that.”

“Pidge, you’re so eloquent with romance.” She made a face and stuck her tongue out at him. “Okay, okay. How’s babygirl?”

She grimaced and shook her head. “No, that feels like a little kid name and I don’t wanna feel younger than I already look.”

“Pumpkin? Cupcake?”

She mused and shook her head. “Those are like… names a parent calls a kid. Which reminds me! I’m _not_ calling you Daddy. Like, ever. That one’s totally off the table.”

Hunk burst into laughter, hiding his face in his arms as leaned against the table and hit his palm against the table he was sitting at, shaking the camera. “Oh my God. Okay, that’s totally fine by me. What about Short Cakes?” Pidge glared at him and tilted her head, almost daring him to try and make that work. “Yeah, your face says it all.” She hummed and smiled. “I don’t know, I don’t think we can really force it to happen.”

“Yeah, good point.” She shrugged and shifted in bed. “So tell me about your day. What happened at the bakery?”

Hunk went on to tell her about some of the newer orders they were getting for weddings and bar mitzvahs and kid parties. The kid party cakes were always the most fun to make because they didn’t have to contain some sort of classy image like they did for weddings. Hunk said he was considering expanding the business, getting more locations in Nevada, then maybe expanding more.

“Oh my god, and one of my bakers said there’s a video of one of our cakes going around Facebook! We could go viral, Pidge! I’m like… the Samoan Cake Boss!” Pidge laughed and clapped excitedly.

“That would be fucking great. You’d be better than him, too. Your cakes are fucking amazing.”

Before Hunk could respond, Sam knocked on her door. “Hey, Katie? Ana wants to know if you finished Dr. Treig’s outline and if you could help her.”

Pidge froze then checked the time on the corner of her computer. “Shit. I forgot that was due today. Hunk, is it cool if we cut the Skype short today? This thing is due at midnight and I haven’t worked on it at all.”

“Yeah, of course! Text me when you can okay? I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Pidge smiled and wished she could give him a kiss or hug him, but all she could do was wave. “I’ll text you. Night.”

They counted to three and logged off at the same time.

Pidge scrambled out of bed and rushed to the coffee table beside Ana. “Really, Katie, you’re behind? Wow. Boyfriend’s a bad influence.”

“No he’s not!”

Ana laughed and patted her shoulder. “Relax, girl, I’m just playing. It’s cute really.” She rolled her eyes and tried to ignore her blush, but her roommates didn’t torment her further. “Okay, so I don’t get this part.” And that was the end of that.

The good thing was that it was a Friday, so she didn’t have to get things ready for class the next day. She just had to upload this stupid thing before midnight. Then she was free… sort of. There was still stuff due next week, but at least she could breathe.

Sophie went to get some midnight food for them to stay up and they were all sprawled around the living room. After stuffing herself full of food, Pidge laid on the couch and focused on the singing competition her roommates liked so much. She wasn’t sure what the big deal was or how exactly these things went since she usually only ever saw the auditions. But her roommates lived for it.

“Katie, how do you do it?” Pidge hummed and looked over at Sophie. “I mean, aren’t you like freaked out or anything?”

“About what?” Pidge asked, feeling confused.

“Well, you just met back up with this guy and now you’re dating which is great! But… you’re on opposite sides of the country. Aren’t you like… scared he’ll meet someone and you won’t even know?”

“No? We have a long past together, we know each other better than anyone else,” she said.

Sophie nodded and sighed. “I don’t know. It’s just… My cousin read this book about a couple who had been best friends and then one moved away for college, so they broke up so they wouldn’t hold each other back. But they were supposed to be endgame, you know? But then the one who moved away met someone else out of chance and like got super detached from the friend back home. They never talked it out before the one who moved died.”

Pidge cringed back and Sam snapped, “Sophie! What the fuck?”

“What? It’s a book! I’m not saying he’ll die, just that maybe he meets someone new. A bunch of people go to that bakery right?”

“Sophie, shut the fuck up,” Ana said, throwing a wadded up straw paper at her. “Katie, don’t listen to her. You and Hunk are super close and super cute. Not all long-distance relationships end up going bad.”

“Didn’t yours?” Sophie pointed out. Ana turned to glare at her and Sophie huffed and shut up.

“I should go to bed,” Pidge muttered. “Night.”

She got off the couch and walked away. She could hear Ana and Sam chiding Sophie under their breaths as she shut the door.

The idea of Hunk finding someone else was bad enough especially since things still didn’t feel all that different yet. But the idea of Hunk being far away and dying? Not knowing or being told until hours later? Not having had another videochat, the chance to hear his voice?

She’d dealt with death a lot before, and she knew how quick and sudden death could be, she had nearly died several times herself. Back then, she was aware of it. Part of her expected it. Now? She was supposed to be safe. The people she cared about were supposed to be safe.

And who was to say he didn’t meet someone else? Any pretty girl could walk into the shop and ask for a cake and then get to know Hunk through the planning and then they became friends and then since Pidge is so fucking far, Hunk realizes maybe he doesn’t like her so much, or maybe he does, but in comparison to some pretty, tall girl with a small waist and-

“Katie?” She looked up and realized how hard she was fighting the knot in her throat. Sam sighed and hugged her tightly. “Don’t listen to Sophie. She doesn’t get what you and Hunk went through. There is no way two people could be closer.”

“Lance and Keith were too. They broke up. They haven’t heard from each other.” Sam sighed and pulled back to look at her. “It’s Vegas, Sam. Do you have any idea how many pretty girls-”

“Katie, _you’re_ pretty. I’m certain Hunk thinks you’re fucking gorgeous! And some other pretty girl saying hi won’t be enough to make him throw out everything you guys have.”

Pidge didn’t answer. She didn’t want to be _that_ girl. The girl that was so insecure she got jealous with every pretty girl. The girl who was always putting herself down or who never thought she was pretty.

But maybe she was that girl. And it was hard not to be, even with friends insisting otherwise.

“Yeah, I… logically, I know you’re right.” She sighed and rubbed her face. “I think I’m gonna call him to say goodnight and just go to bed. I’ll be right back.”

She squeezed Sam’s hand as a thank you then went outside, ignoring Ana and Sophie until she was out on the small balcony connected to the apartment. She dialed Hunk’s number and waited with her head in her hands. It was one in the morning, so it was about ten over there. He might be asleep from an early day or still awake since it was Friday.

“Hey, did you finish the homework?” she heard his voice ask after a few rings.

“Hey. Yeah, a while ago. I ate something. I was about to go to bed.”

“Are you okay?”

Jesus, how did he do that? He couldn’t even see her face. She sighed and let out a long breath. “My roommate just said something stupid that sort of… rubbed me the wrong way, but it’s cool.” She trilled her lips then added, “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Of course, what is it?”

She took a deep breath and looked up at the night sky, staring at the moon. Funny how this moon was the same moon in Vegas. It made it feel like Hunk was a little closer. “If you ever meet someone else you want to try dating, would you just tell me? Instead of like feeling guilty and dragging it out or… something worse, you know?”

There was silence for a very long time. When Hunk broke it, it was with, “Pidge, what the fuck?”

She groaned. “Just promise you’ll tell me! I know we’re far apart and knowing me I’ll get distant because of school work and finals, and anyone could just swoop in and-”

“Pidge, stop,” he interrupted. He sounded angry. “What the hell did your roommate say? I’ve been wanting to be with you since I was seventeen. Do you really think that’s going to change anytime soon? Do you really think I’d be _looking_ for anyone else in the first place?”

“No, but logically speaking-”

“No buts, Pidge. Please for once, just put the logic and the data and all of that aside. This is different, this isn’t about logic. Look, we said we could make this work. You said long-distance can work with the right person.” He paused and when he spoke again, his voice was much softer. Almost afraid. “Am I the right person to make this work with you?”

Pidge gulped and shut her eyes. “Of course you are, Hunk. I just worry I might not be yours even if you think I am. Wait, let me finish. I don’t want to be that girl that’s constantly paranoid that you’ll go away. But I can’t control everything, and if someone better does come along, I can’t stop it or keep you from it, so I’d rather just know that you’ll tell me even if it happens before I graduate or years after we’re together, okay?”

“This is ridiculous, Pidge. God, there’s so much I want to say to you about this, but I want you here in front of me not over the stupid phone.” Pidge bit her lip and grimaced. Was this really that crazy? Just wanting to be safe, to think ahead? “If it’ll make you feel better while we’re far apart, then fine. I promise I’ll tell you. But I also promise you it won’t happen. I’m way too invested in you, in us. Can you promise me you are too?”

“Yes,” she answered immediately. “Yes, I promise, I’m invested, I care about you so much. I want this to work, I really do.”

“It will. I know it will.”

Pidge held the phone tightly, understanding what Hunk meant by wanting to say so much more, but not wanting to do it over the phone. It felt so impersonal. Video chat was better, but the things she felt, the things she wanted to say, the comfort she needed, it had to be in person. And she could make it two and half more months. Then she’d say everything, and maybe this irrational fear would go away.

“I wish I was with you,” she whispered.

“I wish I was with you too,” he answered softly. “Don’t underestimate how much you mean to me.”

Pidge felt her cheeks redden, and she smiled into her hand. “It’s probably nothing compared to what you mean to me.”

“Highly unlikely,” he answered. She could hear a smile in his voice. Things were okay. “You going to bed now? Wake up thinking a little more clearly?”

She rolled her eyes. “I know it seems crazy… it’s just hard to explain. But yeah, it’s one in the morning here, and I’m exhausted. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“First thing in the morning,” he promised. “Goodnight, Pidge.”

“Goodnight,” she whispered. They counted to three and hung up together. She let her head drop into her hands then looked up at the sky again.

They weren’t like couples in books and movies. They weren’t Keith and Lance. They were different even from the other real life couples. Because they had always been friends, had only gotten closer and closer. They’d lost touch and picked right back up where they left off. And maybe Pidge hadn’t realized it until it was thrown in her face a few months ago, but there was a part of her that had always felt these things for Hunk.

He was someone she trusted, someone stable, someone kind and loyal and funny. He had always been a constant in her life until he became an extension of her and she figured maybe she was an extension of him too. They could make this work. He was the right person.

***

The following Monday, Pidge had to go out to get some essentials for the apartment and to do a bit of grocery shopping after classes. By the time she got back home, she was exhausted and she just wanted to fall asleep and take a nap before having to stress over homework.

But the large new vase of a flower bouquet stopped her. She stepped towards it, touching the green parrot tulips and yellow calla lilies with a timid finger, a smile spreading on her face. There was a little stuffed bee with heart antennae and a note.

_I think I figured it out_

_Honey- because it matches the color of your eyes. The café nearby has a honey jar and every time I see it, I think of you. The golden honey color of your hair, your freckles, your eyes especially when they sparkle in the sun. And it has so many variations!_

_I know it’s been rough being apart, but I think of you all the time. I can’t wait to be with you again my little honeybee. I hope you like the flowers. Yellow and green… sounds familiar, huh?_

_Yours from the beginning,_

_Hunk_

Pidge smiled and covered her mouth, sitting on her bed as she read over the note again and again. She smelled the flowers and placed the bee beside the vase. She knew Hunk was still at work so she just sent him a text asking him to call her before she started on a paper that was due soon.

When Hunk got the chance, he called her and as soon as she answered, she said, “You’re the most amazing person in the fucking universe, do you know that?”

He laughed, but Pidge could imagine him pressing a hand to his cheek before rubbing his neck like he always did when he was flustered. “So you like the flowers?”

“I love them. But what did we say about spending money?” she chided playfully.

“A bouquet of flowers is not as expensive as a plane ticket, honeybee. Besides you seem so worried about something happening, so I like sending you reminders now and then. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you smile.”

Pidge bit back a giggle and shoved her face into her pillow. “You always make me smile.”

“I’m glad to hear that. How was your day, honeybun?”

Pidge finally giggled. “Honeybun?” Hunk only chuckled. “My day was good. Busy. It got way better when I came home to these flowers.”

***

For the next two weeks, Pidge was comforted by the sense of routine. She still felt a little melancholic when she saw couples walking by on campus, or uneasy when Sophie would look at her like she knew something Pidge didn’t while she talked to Hunk on the phone or through Skype. Samantha insisted that Pidge just had to ignore her, that she was just jealous, but it still bothered Pidge.

One thing she really wasn’t looking forward to was spring break. She didn’t have money to go to Vegas with Matt and Hunk. Her roommates were all leaving either to be with family or on a vacation to another country. She figured she could maybe visit Lance, but he said he was doing a book tour that week for some schools in Texas. Pidge didn’t feel like spending all of break hopping from city to city or bothering Lance by tagging along.

Which meant she would be on her own for a week with Netflix and her thoughts and a very lonely apartment.

The day before break officially started, Pidge stayed in her room calling Matt, Hunk, and Lance each in turn while her roommates got ready to leave. Thankfully Sophie had already left, so her presence wasn’t making things awkward anymore. Ana was leaving that night and Sam would be leaving the following evening.

Talking to her friends and family helped ground her a bit, but it made the homesickness that much worse. Lance was telling her about the cities he’d be visiting in Texas for the week as he packed a duffel bag. Pidge watched him include a small Cuban flag.

“Hey, Lance?” He hummed and looked into the camera at her, noting her more somber tone. “How do you manage being homesick? I mean… from Cuba to New York without your family, how… how do you manage that?”

He sighed and touched his flag affectionately. “Well, I did it when we were part of Voltron. That was way farther…. But really, I think being busy helps. There’s always stuff to do and places to be, so I don’t let myself think about home too often. Besides my family messages and calls. There’s a lot of Cubans around my neighborhood too.” He shrugged. “Why? Homesick?”

She nodded. “Yeah. But I’m not sure for what. I mean my parents are gone. All I have is Matt and he moved to Vegas after they died, so…. It’s not like I have roots anywhere.”

“You have Hunk,” he said.

She blushed and nodded. “Yeah. But that’s really new. I don’t want to be the girl that roots herself to a boyfriend then ends up all fucked up if something happens.”

Lance stared at her for a moment before plopping down on his chair, levelled with the camera. “Pidge, you really need to stop doing that.” She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “You’re thinking too much,” he chuckled. “You keep going about this like it’s an experiment or something that you can control, and that’s not how it works. You can’t have all these back up plans and go through the relationship waiting for something to go wrong. You can’t plan ahead for everything.”

“I’m just trying to be sensible about this. I don’t my emotions to get in the way of things and making me make dumb choices that’ll get me hurt.”

“Then why bother doing anything?” he asked. She stayed silent and looked at him uncertainly. “If you’re just waiting on something to go wrong, if you _don’t_ let yourself get run by emotions sometimes, then why bother? You’re never gonna get the full experience that way, Pidge.” She huffed and ran a hand through her uneven hair. “You have to let yourself be a little vulnerable, you know that right?”

“That makes it easier to get hurt.”

“And getting hurt means you learn something. You feel something. Better to feel things as best you can than to never really feel anything.”

She took a deep breath and rubbed her face. “What the fuck, Lance, when did you get all philosophical and shit?”

He laughed and shrugged. “I became a writer!” He shrugged and started tapping on his desk. “I don’t know. When Keith and I broke up, I was… devastated. I really thought we’d be endgame, you know? I let myself imagine this whole future with him, and… it didn’t happen. But I know I was really happy at that time. And when I got home, it was great until the nightmares and hallucinations started. And I kept hating my life, like… why did this have to happen to me? Why did my brain have to get fucked up and why was my life getting fucked over? But after a lot of therapy… I realized it gave me an arsenal of things to write about. For people to relate to and know they’re not alone. I’ve felt and gone through a lot of things, and at least now I know I’ve being experiencing things instead of just sitting around, scared to do anything.”

Pidge stared at him for a while, marveling at how much he’d grown from when she first met him and from the last time she’d seen him all those years ago. She admired that he could still keep such an optimistic view, that he embraced the pain and the trauma. She wished she could too. She wished she could be as open and unafraid of being vulnerable as Lance.

And she had no idea if she ever would be, but she knew she wanted to try. Lance was right; what was the point in trying this relationship with Hunk if she was going to be waiting for her heart to get broken somewhere down the line? She could have her priorities and cautions without closing herself off and depending on only certainties.

“I’m really proud of you, Lance,” she said finally. Lance looked at her with wide, confused blue eyes. She laughed and wished she could hug him. “I know it might not mean much from me, but I really am. You made the best of things, and I’m really lucky to have you in my life. I’m glad we found you.”

Lance smiled at her. “It means the world coming from you, Pidge. I love you, you know that? You’re like my honorary little sister. Thanks for that. I needed it.”

Pidge smiled and ran a hand through her hair. “I love you too, Lance. Alright, well, I’ll let you finish packing. Text me when you leave and get places. Take lots of pictures!”

“Will do!” he said with a wide smile. “Goodnight.”

She waved and ended the video call before flopping on her bed and battling the tears that teased her eyes. Eventually, she let them win, because Lance was right- she had to stop guarding herself so much.

It turned out that her body really needed to cry because for the next hour she was sobbing in bed, sniffling and wiping snot and hot tears from her face. She wasn’t even fully sure of why she was crying just that she really needed to and that she couldn’t stop even when Ana and Samantha came in to see what was wrong.

She missed her brother. She missed Hunk. She missed her parents. She missed her home. And she hated that she didn’t know where home was ever since she returned from space. And she really wasn’t excited to spend an entire week alone. So crying didn’t really seem all that ridiculous.

Ana hugged her tightly and apologized for having to leave, but Pidge laughed through her tears and shook her head, ushering her to go catch her flight. Sam stayed with her and they watched some Netflix while eating what was left of the chocolate cake Sophie had made two nights before.

Once the tears had stopped, Pidge did feel significantly better. But she couldn’t stop thinking about what Lance had said about being vulnerable. She wasn’t sure why she was so scared to be vulnerable with Hunk. She trusted him with her life. She knew he would never intentionally hurt her.

So why was she still making back up plans for heartbreak and so adamant about doing everything logically? What was she still trying to guard at this point?

She hadn’t always been like this. She had been open and vulnerable, right? But of course, being bullied in school for being smart, losing your brother, being in war, losing your parents, and dealing with everything else Pidge had dealt with… that was reason enough.

And yet, Lance wasn’t as guarded as she was. Neither was Hunk. Was she just defective that way? She winced as the word defective repeated in her head again and again.

No, she wasn’t.

Hunk had told her she was good. She was strong and brave and resilient. Lance said she was smart and important. Her brother always told her she had a habit of underestimating herself despite how much she hated when others did that to her.

Pidge had a week of being alone to look forward to. She really didn’t want to nurture ideas like defectiveness to start it off.

Somewhere between self-therapy and emotional exhaustion, Pidge fell asleep. She woke up to the sounds of Samantha packing all of her last minute essentials while simultaneously talking on the phone with someone from home.

Pidge took the time to get up, brush her teeth, and then sat to eat cereal while channel surfing on the couch. Samantha always got really hectic when she packed and it never failed to put Pidge on edge. It was best to have a distraction.

About two episodes of House M.D later, there was a knock on the door followed by obnoxious doorbell ringing.

“Who the fuck-” Samantha shouted from the room. “No, Mom not you- oh my God.”

“Coming!” Pidge yelled, scowling at the ringing and the knocking. She opened the door, ready to snap, but it melted away when her brain processed who was at the door. “Lance?”

“Surprise!” he said happily. Leon wagged his tail excitedly beside him. “Pack up, we’re going on a road trip!”

“Wha-where? What?”

Lance laughed and nudged Pidge back so he could walk in. “We’re going to Vegas! I figured since you and Hunk surprised me in New York, it’s only fair I return the favor. So pack up, we’ve got a long drive ahead. Do you mind if I give Leon some water?”

“Uh, go ahead?” She walked after him as he went to the kitchen, familiarizing himself comfortably. “What do you mean Vegas? What about the Texas book tour?”

“Bullshit,” he answered with a shrug. He placed a bowl on the floor that the dog lapped at excitedly. “I made it up so you wouldn’t know I was coming here. We’re going to Vegas because-” he began to count on his fingers- “it’s spring break, your boyfriend lives there, your brother lives there, I want to see Hunk’s cakes, and oddly enough I’ve never gone to Vegas.” He dusted his hands and started toward the bedroom doors. “Which one’s yours?”

As he walked, Samantha came out, evidently fuming. Lance tumbled back against her and turned quickly to steady both her and himself. “Whoa, what the?” Samantha blinked and stared at Lance.

“Oh, sorry. Hi.”

“H-hi.”

Pidge grimaced and looked at Leon.

“Lance that’s Sam, my roommate. Sam, that’s Lance.”

Samantha blinked rapidly and looked at Pidge. “Like… _the_ Lance?” She nodded. “Whoa.”

Lance laughed nervously and pulled his hands away. “Sorry about the… yeah, sorry.”

“Okay, I’m gonna pack.” Pidge walked into the room and started stuffing clothes into a small suitcase haphazardly. Lance walked in shortly after with Sam right behind him.

“Where are you going?”

“We’re driving to Vegas apparently,” she said with a smile.

“Oh! Oh, that’s great!” Sam said excitedly. “Okay, I’ll help. Um, toiletries!” She dashed off and Pidge chuckled after her.

Lance sidled up next to Pidge. “She’s cu-”

“Off-limits,” she interrupted. Lance scoffed. “The last thing I need is one of my closest normal-person friends to get all cozy with one of my best friends and having something go wrong and-”

“Ah, see you’re doing it again,” Lance chastised. Pidge frowned and huffed. “But fine. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll behave. Besides it’s not like I’ll ever see her again anyway if I’m not visiting you.” He jumped onto her bed and grabbed his own book from her bedside table. He chuckled as he flipped through it, and Pidge wondered why. “Hey, don’t tell Hunk or Matt by the way. It’s a surprise.”

“Okay,” she laughed. She grabbed a few more things, homework readings and her books and hairbrush, before stuffing them in. She yanked Lance up and hugged him tightly. “Thank you for this. I really wanted to hug you yesterday and it sucked not being able to. And thanks for not letting me be alone for the week.”

Lance hugged her back just as tightly and ruffled her hair. “I wasn’t going to pass up a chance to see my best friends again. I’ll be by the car, okay? Just bring your stuff out and we can get going.”

She nodded and he walked out, whistling for Leon to follow as he popped the trunk and Pidge made a triple check to be sure she had her essentials. She supposed it was moments like these that she could really take a moment and live in just for a moment.


	9. Trying to Put it Into Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BEEN SO LONG IM SORRY BUT I LOVE YOU AND AM STILL CONTINUING THIS STORY AHHHHH
> 
> Please leave a comment friends<3  
> I hope you like it!!!

_[Click for the Fragile Hearts Playlist!!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4sb7IczIQlHKgjbXMsQwlM?si=UflQHQ8PSKqAUe7N8sUjwA) _

* * *

 

The motel room was nicer than Pidge expected. The ones she’d seen on TV were usually ones with peeling wall paint, water stains, and roaches scurrying around rusted bathroom sinks and tubs. This one smelled like cotton air freshener and had little lamps and comfortable beds. It wasn’t as nice as the hotel room she’d gotten with Hunk back in New York, but that was to be expected.

As she finished brushing her teeth, she could feel Lance’s eyes on her. She ignored it, hoping to simply fall asleep for the night and keep the journey going in the morning.

Then he cleared his throat, and her stomach flipped. “So… are we gonna talk about Ohio?”

“No,” she said firmly.

“Pidge-”

“I really, really don’t want to, Lance. Please drop it.”

Lance sighed and raised his hands in defeat, going to the bathroom to take a shower with Leon at his heels. Pidge crawled into bed and let out a long breath.

After a few hours of driving from Pidge’s apartment, it had somehow come about that Pidge had never learned to drive. Lance had taken it as a personal offense and couldn’t understand how Pidge, the girl who flew a gigantic robot lion, didn’t know how to drive down the highway in a Honda Civic.

And despite Pidge insisting that she was fine without driving, Lance assured her that learning to drive would come in handy. And he added some spiel about being independent and whatnot and Pidge finally switched seats to shut him up.

Everything was fine at first. Lance taught her the basics and tried to keep her calm because she was stiff and anxious. It was so different piloting a war machine versus driving a mundane box of metal. There were no rules in space. She was supposed to wreck things. The lion was sentient! Sitting in the driver’s seat with her hands on the wheel meant she felt the rumble of the engine more prominently than when she sat in the passenger seat.

The rush of cars around her, their engines revving and their drivers honking, and even Leon’s barking all began to slowly morph like a tuning radio station. They warped in her mind until they weren’t just cars and annoyed drivers, but Galran spaceships shooting at her, sirens waking her in the middle of the night to get to her lion.

When she began to speed, caught up in her head, Lance started asking her to slow down, but she couldn’t fully register his voice. It was a warble among everything else and soon, it was just part of her memories too.

She had no idea how they ended up safely pulled over on the side of the road. But she knew there was a cop car behind her and she couldn’t stop hyperventilating even with Lance talking to her gently, bringing her back. Her hands had the steering wheel in a vice grip and it took a lot of concentration to pry them off.

Lance had given the officer some long-winded story about relatives and weddings and driving lessons, passing Pidge off for a 16-year-old. The officer had asked her if she was okay, and Pidge figured she looked a mess with the trauma making her shake and the tears she hadn’t realized were streaming down her face until she blinked to look at the woman in uniform. Pidge’s brain kicked back up to function enough for her to pass off her emotions as a broken-hearted teenage girl whose boyfriend had broken up with her.

They were let off with a warning, and Lance took the driver’s seat back. He’d stopped at a gas station to get her a water, and hugged her tightly, apologizing for making her drive and assuring her she was okay, that it was okay that she freaked out.

He hadn’t asked what happened or why until they got to the motel room. But she did _not_ want to talk about it. She didn’t want to keep thinking about how the weakness caught up to her again. She just wanted to move on and forget; enjoy her time before the next break.

Before she could fall asleep, her phone buzzed.

_No vid chat today honeysuckle?_

Pidge smiled at the text and, for a moment, felt lighter and forgot about the incident in Ohio. She shut her eyes and feigned sleep, snapping a picture before typing: _Long day. Very drained. Can I call in the morning? I miss you._

The response came quickly. _Of course rest up and feel better honeybee. I miss you more. Goodnight._

She smiled and put her phone to charge before pulling the covers up over her. She felt calm enough to maybe actually fall asleep.

This time, her dreams were merciful and blank.

When she woke up the next morning, she woke up to Lance snoring in his bed, tightly hugging one of the pillows on the bed while Leon curled up beside him. Pidge chuckled and got up figuring she could walk to the McDonald’s down the street to get some breakfast before they hit the road again.

She sent Hunk a good morning text before pulling on her shoes and leaving a note in case Lance woke up, and she left the motel, greeted by crisp morning air. After spending so long in a car, she was happy to get a chance to actually use her legs for more than standing in a shower and walking to a bed.

When she was at McDonald’s, she ordered the food then called Hunk. He answered on the fourth ring.

“Hey honeybun. Feeling better?”

“Much,” she said with a smile. She hadn’t realized how badly she’d needed to hear his voice. It was warm and she was anxious to hear it in person again. “How’d you sleep?”

“I slept okay. With the break, there’s a lot of orders coming in and it’s been keeping everyone busy. Where are you, it sounds kind of crowded?”

Pidge looked around at the varying people around her, all people going to work or parents who woke up early enough to bring their kids to breakfast to reign in Spring break. “I’m at McDonald’s, getting breakfast.”

He hummed and said, “Sounds good. I might go there on my lunch break. It’s like across the street anyway.” Pidge laughed and scanned the counter for her order. “Hey, so what happened yesterday? You said you were drained; are you okay?”

Pidge bit her lip and frowned. “Yeah. I’m okay, it’s just I was really tired. I think I just needed a little personal day, you know?”

“Ah, okay. Well, I have to start getting ready for work. I’ll call you on my lunch break, yeah?”

“Okay, talk to you later. Have fun at work!”

They counted to three and hung up.

A few minutes later, Pidge got her food and started walking back to the motel. Surprisingly, Lance still wasn’t awake, but with a few nudges and the smell of pancakes in the air, Lance opened his eyes and sat up, stretching.

“How’d you go to McDonald’s?”

“It’s down the street. I walked.” He hummed, squinting at her, but Pidge ignored it. “How’d you sleep?”

“Like a baby,” he said with a smile as he gave Leon some food. He washed his hands and sat down to prepare his pancakes, casting Pidge a quick glance. Then after a beat, he asked, “What about you?”

“I can’t remember my dreams, so it was great.” Lance frowned, but he didn’t prod.

They spent their breakfast in comfortable silence, watching a crude cartoon comedy on Netflix using Pidge’s laptop. Once they’d eaten and freshened up for the day, they piled back into the car and the road trip began again.

Leon kept his head perched on Pidge’s shoulder and nuzzled her cheek with his nose every now and then.

“He’s an emotional support dog,” Lance said suddenly. “That’s why he’s all over you. He’s been trained to sense when I get anxious or stressed. And he comforts me through it.” He glanced over at her then looked back at the road. “He’s trying to help you too because he senses it with you.”

“Oh,” Pidge said awkwardly. “I’m okay, boy.” She pet his head, but Leon whined and licked her face, lifting his paw to rest on the shoulder of the seat, but it kept slipping.

Lance chuckled and shook his head. “You can lie to me, Pidge, but you can’t lie to a dog.” Pidge rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Did you do therapy when we got back?”

“Yes,” she snapped. “Yes, I went to therapy, I took the meds, I was fine. I learned to live my life and I was fine. I don’t need it anymore. School keeps me busy and focused, and I’m fine. Please, Lance can you drop it?”

Lance didn’t answer. Instead he started flipping through radio stations. “Well, I wasn’t expecting this drive to take so long,” Lance said nonchalantly. “It was an impulse decision, and I didn’t think to even look at how long we’d have to drive.”

Pidge laughed as she looked at the GPS. “Yeah… I feel like half of break is going to be us driving there and back. I guess Keith must’ve rubbed off on you if you’re making impulsive choices now.” She flinched when she heard herself and looked over at Lance who was frowning at the road. “I’m so sorry. I- I shouldn’t have brought him up, that was stupid-”

“No, it’s cool,” Lance said with a shrug. “I write about the guy, for Christ’s sake. I’m not angry with him. Or with how we ended things.”

Pidge hummed and bit her lip. “Do… do you miss him?” Lance raised an eyebrow and looked at her blankly. She scrunched her nose. “Don’t wanna talk about it. Makes sense.”

Lance laughed and shook his head, humming along to the music for a while. “After I ran into you and Hunk, I keep expecting I’ll see him somewhere. I haven’t heard from him in years, and for all I know….” He sighed. “I just hope he’s safe. And living the life he wanted.” He smiled and looked at the GPS. “But we are _not_ driving back. I’d rather pay to transport my car while we get a flight back.”

There was still another two days of driving left, considering bathroom breaks, traffic, and rest stops so Lance wasn’t exhausting himself. Maybe a little more. Pidge tapped her finger on the arm rest and said, “Lance? Why don’t you just pay to transport your car back to New York, and we get the next flight to Vegas at the next airport? It’ll take like three or four hours if we stop at Chicago.”

Lance pulled over at a gas station and grabbed his phone, looking something up rapidly. “Shit, these are expensive,” he muttered. “Last minute Spring Break trip to Vegas? Just us, Pidge. Just. Us.” He dialed someone and Pidge frowned. “I’m trying to see if I can pull some strings. One sec.” He got out of the car and Pidge scrolled through her phone leisurely.

She could hear a muffled conversation and after a couple songs, Lance got back into the car. “Sweet. It worked. I got us two tickets to Vegas. Leon is good to stay with us since he’s registered as an ESA. My car will be transferred back to New York, and we have our standby tickets for the end of the week. I just have to do two book signings while I’m there.”

Pidge raised her eyebrows, evidently impressed. “Wow. You have connections.”

“World-wide YA series author pays off,” he said. “It’s not Brad Pitt fame, but things are pretty easy. Plus the Garrison is paying for the return tickets….”

“Garrison provided a pretty big scholarship for me to go to school, so yeah, I see that,” Pidge said with a laugh.

“Alright, Chicago, here we come,” Lance said, rerouting the GPS.

\---

It was nice weather for spring. A lot of people were evidently tourists on their break. Meanwhile, Pidge and Lance were waiting on an Uber to get them to Hunk’s bakery.

“So how come you can handle being on a plane?” Lance asked. “And you can handle being in a car, but not driving?”

Pidge rolled her eyes and groaned, tired of the same topic. “I freak out a bit during take off and landing. All the shuddering and the engine sounds…. But I can handle it. The driving… it was the fact I was in charge of something. Now can we not talk about it for the rest of break?” Lance raised his hands in surrender. “Anyway, won’t they say something about Leon being in the bakery? It’s a food place.”

“Maybe, but it’ll get Hunk attention,” Lance said. “And I’ll leave if they ask me to. I just want to see Hunk and surprise him.” He stood up from the bench they were on. “Ride’s almost here.”

Sure enough, an SUV pulled up and the window came down. A driver asked to be sure they were the one’s looking for the ride and let them on. Leon quickly hopped onto the car, curling up at Lance’s feet. Pidge sat in the back, feeling butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Lance easily began conversing with the driver, laughing and asking questions with the ease he always had when it came to talking to people. Pidge watched the city blurring past and the longer they drove the more anxious she got.

This would be the first time she would see Hunk since they started _dating._ It was kind of surreal to think of, even if she had spent so many nights chatting with him.

The car came to a stop and Pidge gulped as she saw the bakery. Lance thanked the driver and got off with Leon’s leash in one hand and his duffel bag in the other. Pidge hefted her backpack and gripped her own luggage a little tighter.

“Whoa,” Lance breathed. “This is Hunk’s bakery?” Lance went up to the window, staring at the cakes in awe. “Look at these colors. The scenes- the details. Oh my God.” Pidge looked over at Lance who seemed to be choking up. She noticed the way his eyes glistened and the way Leon perked up, sniffing at him. “These are amazing,” he whispered.

“That’s how I felt when I first saw them. I didn’t even know he lived here. I just saw the cakes and… they felt so familiar.”

“Yeah,” Lance agreed. “They have… _Hunk_ written all over them.” Lance laughed and wiped at his eyes. “Well, what are we waiting for?” He went into the bakery with Leon trotting beside him and Pidge behind him.

Almost immediately, the girl at the register said, “Um, sir! You can’t have dogs in here if they’re not a service dog.”

“He’s an ESA.”

She shook her head. “Only service dogs, sir, I’m sorry.”

Lance nodded. “Okay, okay, but can we talk to the head chef please?” The girl looked a little uncomfortable, maybe a little annoyed. “We’ll leave right away, we just want to see the chef.”

“The chef doesn’t take personal-”

“Can you please just ask?” Lance asked kindly, smiling. Pidge looked at him and swore he was purposefully putting on the charm. Big blue eyes, side smirk, the whole shebang. She had to keep herself from rolling her eyes and scoffing.

A few other customers were staring, so Pidge walked around to see some of the new cake designs.

After a moment she heard a familiar voice say, “If that’s not a service d- oh my God! Lance! What the- what are you- oh my God!”

She turned and saw Hunk engulfing Lance in a hug. Leon wagged his tail excitedly, sniffing and jumping at Hunk. “Hunk! Dude! I’m so fucking proud of you, look at all this!” Lance exclaimed, ruffling his hair.

Hunk laughed, and Pidge felt like she was floating from the sound alone. “Thank you! God, I’d love to show you more, but I could get in huge trouble letting Leon stay. Hey buddy!” Hunk pet Leon affectionately. “Did you just come in? This is a great surprise!”

“Oh, that’s not all of it,” Lance said with a smile. “I’m gonna take Leon out, but uh….” Lance gestured over to where Pidge was.

Hunk turned and Pidge laughed as she watched his expression go from confusion to shock to joy. “Pidge!” He rushed over to her and wrapped his arms around her, engulfing her completely. Pidge laughed and buried her face in his chest. “Oh my God, what are you doing here?”

He pulled back and Pidge touched his cheek. Her face hurt from smiling, but she didn’t care. She’d been yearning for this moment for so long. “Surprise!” she said, trying to sound excited, but she didn’t trust her voice to go above a whisper. “Hi,” she giggled.

Hunk encased her face in his hands which smelled like sugar. “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to see you, Pidge,” he said. She blushed and bit her lip, loving the feeling of hearing him in person, of his touch against her face. “I missed you.” He chuckled as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.

Pidge felt like all of the stress of school and road trips and homework had melted away. The nervous energy she’d been holding dissipated with the taste of his lips. All those doubts and worries she’d had half a world away were nonsensical and unnecessary. Because he was here with her, holding her, kissing her. His touch was so gentle, and the feeling of his lips was familiar even if they’d only had one day of dating together.

Hunk pulled back and kissed her nose, making Pidge laugh softly. He wiped away a tear she hadn’t realized had even run down her cheek. “Here, tell Lance to come around the back, I’ll let you guys into my office.”

She nodded and pulled away, suddenly very aware of the many strangers in the bakery staring and whispering and giggling. Many of them seemed to be swooning, like they’d witnessed a proposal. Others were trying to be polite and look away. Either way, Pidge felt her cheeks heat up and she nearly ran out of the bakery.

“I was watching through the window and that was _so_ cheesy, but so perfect. I could write a romance book and make that a perfect scene,” Lance said as she went out to greet him.

She punched his arm and hefted her duffel bag. “Hunk said to go around the back. He’ll let us in.”

Together, they went around the bakery and found the door propped open. Pidge peeked in and the saw the bakers working on different sets of cake. Hunk noticed her and went to open the door for them, clearing a path for them to get to the office. It didn’t seem like anyone noticed Leon, much less Pidge and Lance making their way to Hunk’s office.

When they got in, Pidge dropped her bag and looked around. She noticed a few Polaroids taped to the wall, all taken in the winter. The first one Hunk took of her where she hadn’t even been looking at the camera, the one they took on a bench with Pidge laughing and Hunk looking at her so adoringly it made her blush, and the last one he took of her at the airport. She tugged at the ends of her hair and tried to hide her giddiness.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me you were coming in? I would’ve taken the day off!” Hunk exclaimed, sitting down. He noticed Pidge looking at the pictures and blushed as well.

“Well, I wanted to surprise you. Pidge didn’t know I was going to bring her, so it was a surprise for both of you,” Lance said proudly. “God, Hunk, I mean I- I heard about the cakes, and I saw pictures online, but…. Seeing them in person… it’s like I can’t believe you created all of this, but I know no one else but you could have.”

Hunk blushed more profusely and rubbed his neck as he thanked Lance. Pidge walked behind him and wrapped her around him, resting her chin on top of his head. Because she could do that now. She was his girlfriend. “Also, don’t worry about taking the day off. We need to stop at Matt’s anyway. Oh, and uh… Lance was definitely on the verge of tears when we got here.”

Hunk chuckled and one hand began to caress her hands. “Really?”

Lance scoffed. “Well- yeah! I’m really proud of you!  I’m not ashamed to admit I got emotional. Do you have a lot of work this week?”

“Mostly just simple cakes. All the big orders are done,” he said. “So it wouldn’t hurt if I closed a little earlier this week.” Pidge hummed above him and Hunk chuckled. “It really won’t! Besides you guys flew all the way out here. I want to spend time with you guys.”

“We’re gonna make Vegas our bitch this week,” Lance said, making Hunk and Pidge burst into laughter. “Alright, I wanna go leave this at Matt’s until you get off work. I’m assuming I can crash with you? Unless you two lovebirds wanna stay together, then I can ask Matt if I can stay with him-”

“Uh, I think it’s cool,” Hunk said, glancing up at Pidge. “Were you planning on staying with me?”

“Um… I mean, I thought I was staying with Matt but-”

“Oh, this is awkward,” Lance said through a pained chuckle. “I’m kind of loving it. Okay, so you guys figure it out. I’ll be on my phone finding an Uber.”

Pidge glared at him, then felt a tug on her arms. Hunk pulled her around to face him. “Did you want to stay with me?”

“I mean, we used to do it all the time,” she said with a shrug. Hunk hummed and looked at her expectantly, knowing her well enough that he knew she was holding something else back. “It’s different now, isn’t it? Spending the night together as a couple versus as friends?”

“If it’s not something you want to do, that’s okay,” Hunk assured. “I’m not offended.” Pidge grimaced, and he cupped her face to pull her down to a gentle kiss. “My little honeycomb, always overthinking.” Pidge felt herself melt a little at the way he said that. “Stay with your brother. And you’re more than welcome to stay with me whenever you want.”

“Okay,” she whispered. She looked over at Lance who was pointedly staring at his phone. “Did you get a ride for us?”

“Yep! You have the keys, right?” She nodded. “Alright, well, they’re on the way, so….”

“Let me walk you guys out,” Hunk said, standing up. He took Pidge by the hand which made Pidge feel a whole new wave of giddiness and butterflies and jitters. Hunk walked with them to the sidewalk and waited until the car came. “I’ll go over to Matt’s as soon as I’m off work, okay? And we can go out to a bar or a movie or something.”

“Sounds like a perfect plan,” Lance said. “Okay, I think this is our car.” He waved the driver over after checking the license plate and then loaded their luggage.

“I’ll see you guys soon, okay?” Hunk promised, pushing her hair back. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

Pidge bit her lip and smiled before she leaned up on her toes to kiss him. “Me too. I’ll see you at Matt’s.” She went to join Lance in the car and they waved as Hunk went back into the bakery.

Lance waited until they were at Matt’s apartment to say anything to Pidge. “So… you’re gonna stay here?” She looked at him as she came back to sit on the couch after leaving her stuff in her room. “You’re not staying with your boyfriend? What was with the ‘it’s different now’ thing?”

“Eavesdropper,” she accused. Lance just shrugged. “Well, I mean it is. Before, it didn’t mean anything, it was just a thing we did. Now we’re dating, and it… it means something, I think. I just don’t want to rush into anything.”

Lance smirked and shook his head.

“What?” Pidge demanded. “Lance, _what?_ What is it?”

“Nothing! Just… it’s very you.” Pidge crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “I just mean that… you’re still being super cautious. Which is kind of weird to me because I never am when I’m in a relationship. But I don’t know if you’re being cautious because it’s what you do or because you think this is going to end in disaster.”

Pidge hesitated and mindlessly flipped through the channels. “I mean… what am I supposed to do if it does?” she whispered. “He’s my best friend. _If_ there’s a disaster, I’m not just losing a boyfriend, I’m losing a best friend. Maybe two if you stay more his friend than mine.”

“Pidge-”

“I know, I know,” she said. “I’m not supposed to be so pessimistic, I have to live in the moment, blah, blah, blah,” she groaned. “They’re just worries I can’t help but have. And then with people always giving their two cents, it just… sucks.”

It was quiet for a moment. Then Lance asked, “Who’s giving what two cents?”

“It’s stupid,” Pidge muttered. “One of my roommates always… used to ask about how this was working. What I would do if Hunk found someone else because we’re on opposite sides of the country. It’s like she was just always judging, always… picking at it. Even though my other roommates were on my side, it still sucked because… it’s like her words were the loudest anyway.

“Actually being with Hunk, it feels different. I feel invincible, I feel like nothing can come between us, I feel like… we’re meant to be. But then I’m away from him, and reality just….” She pantomimed slapping someone, and Lance chuckled. “I don’t know how to live in the moment because I’ve always calculated everything, and now I’m just supposed to… roll with it.”

Lance nodded in understanding and nudged her gently. “Well, hey. It doesn’t matter what other people say about the relationship you two have. And I think you should talk to Hunk about those insecurities. I think it would help if you both just took tonight to talk and be together.” Pidge began to protest, but Lance waved the rebuttals away. “I’m tired from driving and the jetlag. Plus one of those signings is actually tomorrow… so, yeah. It’s cool. Besides, I’ll get to have all week to have sleepovers with Hunk.”

Pidge snorted and shook her head. Before she could respond, she heard the sound of keys jiggling in a lock and the door opened. Matt jumped and grabbed a hold of the coat hanger he had near the door before he realized who had intruded his home.

“What the _fuck_ are you two doing here?” he yelped, once the shock wore away.

“Surprise?” Pidge said uncertainly. “We didn’t mean to scare you!”

Matt burst into laughter and rushed forward to hug her tightly. Then he turned to Lance and greeted him just as joyously. “Dude, I heard about the books! Congrats! And you look great, it’s so good to see you again.”

Lance smiled and Pidge finally saw that spark of friendship she’d always expected her brother and Lance to have. “Thanks, man. It’s been pretty great. Busy, but that’s a good thing, I think. But yeah, I abducted Pidge and then we ambushed Hunk and then apparently the next step was scaring the shit out of you. Sorry.”

Matt laughed that off and shrugged. “It’s fine. I wasn’t expecting to see this terror until May, so it’s a great surprise. Are you guys both staying here or at Hunk’s?”

“I’m staying here, Lance is staying at Hunk’s,” Pidge said before any snide comments could be made. But Matt just nodded and Lance was half-watching TV.

“Tonight’s date night for Hunk and Pidge though,” Lance said. “They have catching up to do.”

“Perfect,” Matt said, squaring his shoulders. “I get to perfect my Protective Big Brother act.” Pidge rolled her eyes and plopped down on the couch with Lance. “So catch me up! How’s life been for both of you? How was the trip here? What are the Spring Break plans?”

The three of them took turns talking about what they wanted to do over break and even plans for later- particularly when Pidge graduated. Lance was a little miffed about ending up as the only one on the east coast while his friends stayed on the west side of the country. Somewhere between a conversation about Lance next book signing, there was a knock on the door.

“Unless Matt was expecting company, that must be your guy,” Lance said. Pidge bit her lip and walked over to the door.

The guys kept talking while Pidge opened the door. Sure enough, there was Hunk having changed into his usual attire with a happy smile and bright eyes that brightened further when they met Pidge’s. “Hey, there,” he said softly.

Pidge smiled and wrapped her arms around him, looking up at him with a blushing face. He leaned down and kissed her lightly before she let him in.

“Hunk, buddy, how was work?” Matt asked, shouting from the living room.

“It was great. I got a great surprise today from these two. Oh, hey boy.” Hunk laughed as Leon jumped on him for attention. “So, what’s the plan? We going to eat or what?”

“I was thinking you guys could have a date night,” Lance said. “I have a book signing early tomorrow, and I’m not that hungry.”

Hunk furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you sure? We could order in and stay here. You’re staying with me right?”

“Yeah, for sure! I just figured you’d want a date night….”

Hunk looked over at Pidge, tugging on a strand of her hair. “Yeah, but I’d like to have a chance to plan that out. So, are we eating in?”

“I could go for pizza,” Matt chimed in.

“I’ll order,” Pidge offered. She went to get her laptop from her room to submit an online order. She plopped down on the couch between Hunk and Lance. “Alright, what are we getting?”

The guys took a while to figure out their order, but it was eventually placed and Pidge finally felt herself relax. She had Hunk’s reassuring warmth beside her, his arm draped behind her and playing idly with her hair. She had Lance telling funny stories and making them laugh. She had her brother across from her looking happier than he had in a long time, joking along with Lance. The TV played for no one and Leon hopped from the couch to under the arm chair Matt was in.

Eventually, they had pizza and soda in the mix which made it even better especially with Leon doing tricks in hopes of getting a treat for it.

It felt natural. It felt whole. Pidge had expected her break to consist of sitting at home and watching reruns of Friends by herself on her couch. Instead, she was here, with the people she trusted most and making new memories that made her feel light and… safe.

When it got late, Lance insisted he had to turn in, and Pidge insisted Hunk needed to get rest before his shift the next day. Matt had work too, so he had already been laughing at nothing and everything from tiredness.

Matt soon headed off to bed, too tired for proper goodbyes. While Lance grabbed his things to leave with Hunk, Pidge curled further into the arms of her boyfriend.

“So when I video chatted you while you were at McDonald’s, you were already on your way here, huh?” he murmured into her hair, stroking it gently. He used his other hand to pull her legs onto his lap. She nodded and smiled smugly. “I can’t believe I finally have you in person again,” he said. “I feel like I might never get used to these moments.”

Pidge sighed and hesitated slightly before sliding her hand into his. “I know. But hopefully soon, we can be around each other a lot more often and it can stop feeling like a delusion or something.” Hunk chuckled and pressed his lips to her temple, making Pidge shiver slightly.

She was so unused to this. These affections that screamed _girlfriend._ Cuddling with Hunk was something she was used to. Hugs, of course. But the handholding and the kissing were still so _new._ Their relationship so far had been solely through a screen, and now they had a chance to change that.

It made Pidge realize she had no idea whatsoever how to even _be_ a girlfriend.

“Hey. You okay?” She looked at Hunk who was eyeing her worriedly.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she assured. “Want me to stop by the bakery when you’re on your lunch break tomorrow?”

Hunk smiled and bumped his nose with hers. “I’d love that.” Pidge smiled and kissed him, letting herself relax into the feeling of being with Hunk this way.

“Yo, lovebirds,” Lance called from the door. “I hate to interrupt, but I’m super tired and need a _nap._ ”

“I’m going,” Hunk said. Pidge stood up with him and went to the front door. “I’ll text you tomorrow, okay?” Pidge nodded and Hunk stepped out into the hallway.

“Pidge, you’re taking me on a tour tomorrow after my signing,” Lance said with a playful wink. “Alrighty, come on, Leon!”

Pidge laughed as she stared after them walking out and then shut the door, still able to hear the two talking in the halls. She locked the door and went to her room to change into PJs.

The next day, Lance and Pidge went up and down the Strip until Hunk’s lunch hour came around. Then they all went to eat at a fast food joint. Lance told them about his book signing. At one point someone actually went up to him with their kid, having recognized him from his book picture and having heard he was in town with a book signing.

The more Pidge walked around with them, the more she felt like this place could be home. Whether she stayed with Matt or maybe one day moved in with Hunk or just got her own place… Vegas felt like it could be home.

She was glad that she wasn’t completely horrible at this girlfriend thing. She loved the feeling of her hand in Hunk’s. It felt like the most natural thing in the world the way their hands found each other’s. Lance was more than happy to play photographer for them, insisting that they needed couple photos. At those moments, Hunk would kiss her cheek or hold her close or smile at her in a way that made Pidge feel like the most important person in the world.

She found herself getting a little more used to the idea of her and Hunk as a unit as the day went on. It had always been the two of them, but each as their own. Now, as a couple, it was a little different. She knew she was still her own person, still able to stand on her own, but now she was also part of a relationship.

Originally, Pidge had been a little terrified about that. She was worried she’d be stripped of who she was until she was just Hunk’s girlfriend. She’d been worried people would expect her to constantly point out that she wasn’t just Pidge now, but Pidge-and-Hunk, and in turn afraid that would make her feel a little less her own person. But that wasn’t the case at all.

Lance teased, but not too much to get frustrating. Matt only smiled seeing her with Hunk. And actually being with Hunk…. She wasn’t afraid when she was with him. She liked being part of this Hunk-and-Pidge thing. It felt like a new layer of her rather than a reset.

Maybe it was a stupid thing to worry about, a stupid thing to think on so much, but Pidge was a person who overthought. Especially when it came to relationships with other people. That had been proven many a times before. And after so long having this relationship solely through phone and computer screens, it still felt new in some ways now that it got a chance to develop in person.

For example, the moments when she wasn’t expecting a touch and received one kept taking her by surprise. Moments when they’d be sitting on a bench or in a restaurant or, later that night, a bar, and she would feel Hunk’s arm around her suddenly. Or he’d tuck her hair back. Or he’d cup her face. Or he’d lean in just to kiss her shoulder.

Those moments kept making her freeze up and have reboot her system to start functioning again.

It was also kind of wonderful to think that Hunk had such natural tendencies towards her. That he felt the urge to just have some sort of contact with her at random moments. She was worried, though, that her lack of reciprocity would come off wrong. But otherwise it would seem forced.

Shit, relationships were hard.

By the time the night was over, they were hanging out at Hunk’s place. They’d all had a few drinks, but Lance was especially tired from waking up so early for the signing. He ended up falling asleep on the couch, and Pidge had to wake him up to tell him he could go to bed. He muttered and shuffled off to Hunk’s room with Leon trotting behind him.

Meanwhile Hunk grabbed some blankets from the linen closet and draped them on the couch where he was sleeping until he got a chance to get an air mattress. He sat down, draping the blankets around him and opening his arms in a silent invitation for Pidge.

She smiled and walked over, sitting between his legs as he browsed through Netflix. He started rocking side to side slowly. Pidge nuzzled closer and sighed happily.

He put on their favorite comedy, and then wrapped his arms around Pidge. They only talked for Pidge’s occasional question on the show or when they commented on something happening. It felt like the way they always interacted, just with more contact, less reserved. No more holding back.

After a couple episodes, Pidge felt Hunk’s thumb rubbing circles into her arm. “Hey.” She hummed, tilting her head to look at him. He looked a little serious. She shifted and looked at him more directly, furrowing her eyebrows. Before she could ask, Hunk said, “Lance told me about the thing that happened in Ohio.”

A muscle in Pidge’s jaw jumped as she clenched her teeth. A weight fell in her stomach, and suddenly she just wanted to go back to Matt’s.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Hunk said softly, his hand coming up to her cheek.

She scoffed and turned her face away. “I’m fine,” she insisted.

“If you were, you wouldn’t react like this, honey badger.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Honey badger?”

“You’re angry. It fits.” He smiled at her, but Pidge kept staring, unamused. He sighed and put a finger under her chin to tilt her head back to him. “Katie, you could’ve gotten hurt. You both could have. Talk to me, what happened? I know you have nightmares, but-”

“What else could it possibly be?” she snapped. “I spend all these years piloting a fucking lion and in the middle of a war and I’m supposed to just… be able to handle cars and planes and….” She sighed, knowing it sounded ridiculous. Cars and planes were nothing like the Green Lion. But they made her anxious. She couldn’t help the way her brain worked. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Maybe you need to.”

“What, another therapist? I was with one for a year when we got back. Bi-weekly meetings. I get nightmares and flashbacks, they can’t help with that. I just have to live with it.” Hunk looked at her with sad brown eyes that made her feel small. “Don’t look at me like that,” she said through clenched teeth.

“Pidge, I….” Hunk sighed and put a hand on her cheek. “You’re one of the most important people in my life. It hurts me that you’re still in so much pain. I get it, there’s some stuff that just won’t go away, but…. You can’t just not acknowledge or face this. You had to be pried from the pedals. Lance had to use the emergency brake. You were on an access road, someone could’ve hit you, you could’ve hit someone else.”

“I know!” she yelled.

“Hey,” he said, trying to placate her. He got a hold of her waist before she could get up and storm off. He pulled her back gently, and she let him. “Easy. I’m just trying to explain why I’m worried.”

“Well, don’t worry. I’m strong, I can handle it.” She put her legs on either side of him, facing him fully, trying to meet his gaze in a way that would prove she was fine.

Hunk sighed and pressed his forehead to hers. His thumb ran across her cheekbone. “If it were me, would you worry?” Pidge shut her eyes and sighed. Then she nodded slowly. “Then don’t tell me not to.”

“I’ll be okay,” she insisted.

“So stubborn.” She chuckled lightly and opened her eyes. He stared at her for a moment before leaning in to kiss her softly. “ _Oute alofa ia te oe.”_

Pidge smiled and tilted her head. “What’s that mean?”

“It means you’re the most magnificent person I know,” he answered. Pidge smiled smugly at that. “I didn’t want to upset you.”

“I know,” she said, her smile dropping. “I just… don’t want to hold on to those weak moments more than I need to.”

“Pidge, you’re not weak. That is the last word anyone would ever think to use to describe you. And I don’t want you to think that I worry or ask because it seems weak. I’m asking because I don’t want you to have to fight so much to be okay when you have me and Lance and your brother to help. You’re not alone anymore. You’re my best friend and my girlfriend. I want to know that you’ll let me help you when you need it.”

She sighed and looked at him. The vulnerability in his eyes made her heart break and come back together all at once. She reached a hand out, running her fingers through his hair. His eyes shut as she pushed it back. Then she put her hands on either side of his face.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” she whispered. His eyes opened. “But I’m glad I did it.”

“Pidge-”

She leaned forward to kiss him. To really kiss him. To kiss him with all of her heart, with all of the affection she’d stored up since the day she’d kissed him goodbye at the airport. To hopefully tell him that just because she didn’t want to tell him about her weaker moments, it didn’t mean she didn’t trust him, she just wanted him to know and have the best of her. To tell him she was willing to work through all of her fears if it meant having moments like this with him for the rest of her life.

His lips were gentle with hers. He held her tightly, one hand at her waist, the other at the back of her neck. Pidge let her hands drop to his shoulders. One arm draped around him as her other hand threaded through his hair.

Hunk let out a soft grunt that made a fire sear through Pidge’s body. The hand at her waist moved to wrap around her torso and pull her closer. Their breaths increased in speed, but their lips remained connected. Pidge shivered as she realized how new this was. Being with Hunk this way…. Feeling all these new things with Hunk, _because_ of Hunk.

She’d never had a kiss like this. She’d never felt so wrapped up by the sensation. The heat was almost uncomfortable, but she reveled in it because it felt so wonderful to be there, with Hunk’s hands on her with his lips against hers, with the sound of his breaths.

They only stopped because Hunk tilted his head down after a while, catching his breath, humming softly. Pidge trembled slightly, pressing a kiss to his forehead which made Hunk chuckle softly.

“Are you staying tonight?” he asked. His voice sounded broken, but in a good way. In that way it must always be when you kiss someone for so long.

“Yeah,” Pidge said, deciding at that very moment. Hunk looked back up at her and smiled. “Now kiss me again.”

Hunk laughed and kissed her nose. “Your lips and chin are red,” he noted.

“Because of your beard,” she said. “But I don’t mind it.” She leaned against him, shifting to sit beside him with one of his arms around her. “You should sleep. You have work in the morning.”

Hunk groaned, but he shifted to lay down, wrapping Pidge in his arms. His breath tickled her a bit, but she kind of enjoyed it. It meant they were close. It meant they were together.

After a while, his breaths evened out. He’d fallen asleep. Pidge let the TV keep playing as she traced his tattoos with a finger. She wondered how long a person was supposed to wait before falling in love. Something told her it wasn’t a logistical thing either. That she’d have to welcome it as it came, and although that also terrified her… she was excited about it too.

They woke up to someone flicking water at their faces. Pidge grumbled and opened her eyes to see Lance behind the couch, a smirk on his face. “If you were staying over, I could’ve taken the couch.” He walked away to pick up a cup of coffee he’d left on the counter. “Hunk, I’m hungry,” he whined.

“I didn’t know I was gonna stay,” Pidge mumbled, shuffling onto her other side to hide her face in Hunk’s chest.

“I’m hungry too. Why don’t _you_ make _me_ breakfast for once,” Hunk yawned, cuddling Pidge closer. “Wake me when it’s ready.”

“The hospitality in Vegas sucks,” Lance said. Pidge laughed into Hunk’s chest.

After a few clatters of pots and pans- which Pidge was certain were on purpose- Hunk groaned and sat up. “Alright, I’m coming, stop touching stuff, you heathen.”

Pidge sat up so he could get off the couch and wrapped herself in the blanket as he went to the kitchen, shooing Lance away. The smell of food soon filled the apartment and if Pidge closed her eyes, she could imagine a morning waking up in Hunk’s bed to this same thing. She could imagine it being a routine. She could imagine joining him in the kitchen, learning his recipes and sitting to eat with him every day. She could imagine them dancing playfully along to the music he liked to hum as he cooked.

She was starting to get swept up in fantasies. It was a little reckless…. But she didn’t mind it all.


	10. When I'm With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read every comment, I just take a while to answer them, I PROMISE aha. Also, thank you so muhc to those of you still reading, it means a lot especially after so long that I hadn't updated <3 
> 
> Come talk to me on Tumblr! @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney

Aside from a couple nightmares in the past few nights, it was relaxing being able to be in Vegas with Matt and Hunk. It felt good not to stress over school for a bit, and it felt good not to be alone. 

It also hadn’t been the last time Pidge ended up staying at Hunk’s. Lance took to using the couch when he found the two of them cuddled up on the couch a second night. Sharing his bed also meant he didn’t wake her when he left for work. 

After a nightmare, Pidge woke up to an empty bed and the sound of scratching at the bedroom door. Pidge caught her breath and went to open the door only for Leon to immediately hop up on his hind legs and place his paws at her hips like a hug. Pidge pet his head and realized her hand was shaking. 

Then, because Leon was the only one with her and he was a dog, she fell to her knees and allowed the tears to stream into his fur as he nuzzled against her, keeping his paws firm on her arms. 

It wasn’t the nightmare itself that drove her to tears. It was the fact that she still got them so much, and she feared she might never break free from their grip. It was suffocating to wake up to them all the time. She felt like she might never get her peace from everything she went through. In a way it terrified her more to think that the people she loved still had to deal with it and that it could possibly drive them away. 

Leon sniffed and huffed, bumping his wet nose against her cheek. Pidge smiled and ruffled his hair. “You’re a good dog, buddy.” Leon’s tail wagged frantically. “Thanks. I’m okay now.” Leon stayed on her until Pidge nudged him gently so she could stand. Even then, he began to follow her as she went to the kitchen to make herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

About an hour after she woke up, Lance came back to the apartment, having finished his last book signing. He plopped down on the couch beside Pidge and laid down to rest his head on her thigh. 

“Rough day?” she asked. Leon hopped onto the couch to curl up by Lance’s stomach, resting his head on Lance’s side. 

“Not really,” he sighed. “Just… tiring.” Pidge raised an eyebrow and lowered the volume of the TV. 

“Care to elaborate?”

Lance huffed and turned to lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. “You know how when you watch a show or read a book, you have favorite characters?” Pidge nodded. “It’s really great to hear about it from the people who read my books. The kids will have little drawings or some people will dress up. And it’s so funny to see people dressing up as me or Hunk or you.” He sighed and met her eyes. “Today, there were a lot of people asking about Kyle.” 

Pidge furrowed her eyebrows in confusion before realizing what he meant. “Oh. Keith.” Lance nodded. 

“And usually, I’m good with that! Like I said, I made my peace with it, kind of. It’s not like we hate each other, we just had different plans. And I’m usually good about not letting my emotions get in the way when I see the cosplay or the artwork or get the questions. I mean some people manage a really good resemblance sometimes.” 

“So what made it harder this time?” 

Lance took a breath and sat up to ruffle through his messenger bag. He had a few papers all in their own plastic sleeves. “Ever since you and Hunk found me, I guess a part of me has also been waiting on Keith. I don’t know anything about him at all, and that didn’t bother me until I realized how much I needed you guys. The latest book has a lot of the beginning of our relationship, so of course….” He held out the papers and Pidge took them. 

The first one looked like a kid had drawn it, in that cute little anime style Pidge remembered people doing when she was in middle school. It had what Pidge assumed to be Keith- or Kyle- with his arms around Lance. She moved to the next page. This one seemed like an actual page from a graphic novel. A comic of what Pidge assumed was one of the scenes in the book, because she recalled Lance telling her and Hunk about this moment when he was gushing about Keith while they tried to run a diagnostic. The next page had cute mini versions with big heads of Lance and Keith doing cute little things with hearts around the borders. The next page had a beautiful watercolor version of the two of them kissing. 

She sighed and looked at him. He was holding out a few more papers. “There’s some of you and Hunk too, if you want them,” he said tiredly. 

Pidge rolled her eyes and took the papers, stacking them all on the coffee table. “Lance, come here.” She opened her arms and Lance laid back down as she cradled him. He hid his face in the fabric of her hoodie- which was actually Hunk’s- and Leon took his place by Lance’s feet. “It’s okay to miss him.” 

“I know, but it feels fresh again.” His voice came muffled and weak. Pidge hugged him a little tighter. “You really should look at the ones of you and Hunk though, they’re really cute.” 

Pidge laughed ruffled his hair. “You’ve got some talented fans.” Lance turned his head, no longer hiding his face as he smiled and nodded. 

\--

When Hunk came home, he treated them both to dinner at a restaurant, and Matt met up with them when he was off of work. 

While Hunk and Lance went on a tangent about their jobs, Matt nudged Pidge’s arm and leaned over. 

“You okay?” 

She frowned and nodded. “Why?” 

“You had a nightmare, didn’t you?” 

“How do you know that?” 

Matt rolled his eyes. “You’re my little sister. I know you pretty well. You always act skittish after a nightmare, and you look like you haven’t slept.” 

“Gee thanks,” she muttered. 

“You know that’s not what I meant.” He looked over at Lance and Hunk then lowered his voice. “You know if you need to talk, I’m always here for you, Katie.” 

She smiled at him and nodded, squeezing his hand as a thank you. 

They stayed at the restaurant long after finishing their food. They talked about everything, from the memories of their time in space, the games they’d play when they got bored, or just recalling how naive they were at such a young age to the various changes and personal stories from the last five years actually on Earth. 

Just as Pidge had expected, Matt and Lance were able to bounce their jokes off each other with ease, practically being two sides of the same coin. It led to Pidge laughing almost non-stop until she was crying and hunched over with a stomach ache.

Matt didn’t ask if Pidge was coming home with him seeing as she’d been spending her time with Hunk and Lance, but Pidge did want a day with her brother. So she gave a Hunk a kiss on the cheek and said she’d see him tomorrow then hugged Lance before racing over to catch up with Matt. 

Matt smiled, the scar on his face outlining the curve of his cheeks when he did, and threw an arm around her. “Aw, you miss me.” 

Pidge laughed and rolled her eyes. 

When they got home, Matt went into the kitchen to make himself a coffee. Pidge had been so full, she had no idea how he still had room for it. 

“Do you still get nightmares?” she asked as he looked for a mug. “You never tell me about them.” 

He looked over at her and shrugged. “Every now and then. Not often. They’ve been sparser as the years go by.” 

“When do you think that’ll happen for me?”

Matt poured his coffee and sat down across from her. “I don’t know. I mean, you don’t get them as much when you have classes. I’ve noticed you don’t call me about them much. Then every time you visit, you get them more.” 

Pidge grimaced. “What, so you think you’re triggering them?”

Matt shrugged. “I don’t really know, Katie. But I do think you should talk to somebody when you get them. Me or Hunk or Lance or maybe even your roommate. You said you told her about Voltron and everything, right?” She nodded. “I think it would help not to bottle up the nightmares.” 

“But it’s all the same. Or about the same stuff. At this point, I’m more panicked about the fact that I can’t stop getting the nightmares than the nightmares themselves.” She frowned and ran her hand through her hair. “Anyway, I don’t want to talk about them. I just want to hang out with you.” 

Matt scrunched up his nose. “Hanging out with your big brother? What a nerd.” Pidge grabbed the roll of paper towels on the table and threw it at him. 

\--

The next morning, Pidge decided to go sightseeing. Lance said he was feeling a little sick, so he didn’t join her, and Matt and Hunk were both working. She didn’t want to stay in the apartment all day, even though she had already seen the Strip multiple times at this point. It was still cool to see the booths with little tricks and the street performances. Since it was spring break, the entire Vegas was still very much alive during the day, not just at night. 

Sure enough, as Pidge was walking out of Caesars Palace, she saw a girl being held up by her friends as she walked, obviously wasted. As she walked away, her phone started buzzing with an incoming call. She pulled it out and saw Hunk’s picture on the screen, which immediately made her smile. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, honeybee. What are you doing?” 

“Just walking around. How’s work?” 

“Slow, actually. We’re closing early. I was about to grab lunch, where are you?” 

“I’m actually pretty close to the bakery, I can meet you there.” 

“Perfect! I’ll see you in a bit.” 

They counted to three and hung up. Pidge walked across the street and down a few blocks until she reached the bakery. The closed sign was on, but Hunk was at the register with one of the workers and went over to open the door for her, greeting her with a kiss. 

Pidge wasn’t going to lie, the act made her feel little butterflies in her stomach. 

“It’s all locked away, Chef,” the girl at the counter said. “Are you locking up?” 

“Yeah, go ahead and clock out, Amy.” She nodded, meanwhile Hunk turned to Pidge and raised an eyebrow. “So, what are you in the mood for?” 

“Honestly, right now? Cake,” she said. The smell of confectioner’s sugar and frosting was making her mouth water, and all the impossible cakes around her were so colorful, it only made them that much more enticing. 

Hunk laughed at her. “Really?” She nodded. “Well, I’ve got an idea. Come on.” He took her hand and led her back to the kitchen. Amy left out the back door with a wave, leaving Pidge and Hunk alone in the bakery. 

“Are you making me a cake?” she asked. 

Hunk laughed and grabbed an apron that was hung up before going over to her. Pidge raised an eyebrow. He draped the apron over her and gave her a cheeky smile. “No, you’re gonna make one with me.” 

“That’s a horrible idea on several levels,” she said, as he turned her around to tie the apron. 

“You’ll be fine.” He turned her back around, tucked a strand of her hair back with a gentle hand, and kissed her nose. “Come on.” 

Weak-kneed, Pidge did. 

He got out all the ingredients, laying them out along the counter, followed by the utensils. Pidge stared at all of it, feeling completely out of her element. She’d seen Hunk bake several times before. She’d watched and taste-tested and handed over ingredients or utensils as he asked for them mid conversation. Hell, she’d even fought the goo machines with him. 

But actually partaking in the cooking? She had never done that. Hunk was gourmand, what could she possibly have to offer?

“Honeybun, it’s not that bad. Come on, I’ll be helping you with it.” With a light hand at the small of her back, he nudged her forward and began to take her step by step on how to make a cake from scratch. 

As she did it, it started to seem a little easier. She was just measuring out ingredients and adding them to the bowl. Hunk smeared butter and sprinkled flour onto some baking pans, humming something under his breath. 

Then he handed Pidge a mixer and told her to beat the wet ingredients before adding them to the dry ones. Pidge wasn’t sure why, but she did it. Her tongue stuck out slightly as she concentrated on mixing the wet ingredients. She poured them into the dry ingredients and turned the mixer on again. 

Suddenly, the flour, sugar, and the egg mix all flew out of the bowl, startling Pidge further and making her knock the bowl over onto herself. 

All she could hear was Hunk’s unreserved laughter. 

“Pidge, you’re not supposed to start the mixer that fast!” he wheezed between breathless laughter, leaning against the counter for support. 

“My finger slipped!  Stop laughing at me!” 

But Hunk’s full laughter already had him keeling over. It resonated through the kitchen and Pidge didn’t even mind that she was now covered in milk and flour and eggs. Still, she turned and grabbed a fistful of flour, flinging at him, making the crown of his head completely white. 

“Wh-what! That’s not fair!” he said, still smiling with remnants of laughter in his eyes. He grabbed a fistful of his own bag of flour and blew it back at her. 

“Oh, you jerk!” Pidge yelped, squeezing her eyes shut. She grabbed the bowl of what remained of the mixture. Hunk seemed to know what she was going to do before she did it. 

“No, no, no!” he said, immediately backing up to the other side of the kitchen. He felt for the fridge handle behind him and blindly grabbed for something as Pidge neared him slowly. “Pidge, I’ve got a full container of whipped cream, and I’m not afraid to use it!” 

Pidge smiled and grabbed a fistful of gunk from the bowl. “I dare you.” She raised an eyebrow. 

Suddenly he was dashing across to the other end and she was running after him, throwing fistful after fistful while he flung back handfuls of whipped cream that clung to her clothes. Laughter filled the kitchen the more and more intense their food fight got. Suddenly they were throwing eggs, and Pidge managed to smear butter on Hunk’s face, then Hunk managed to douse Pidge in sporadic splatters of milk.

Soon they were covered in various ingredients, both refusing to back down until they ended up slipping on something they spilled. They collapsed on the floor trying to catch their breaths. 

“Oh my God, my kitchen’s a mess,” Hunk said with a laugh, resting his head back on the wall. “How do you screw up a cake to this level?” 

“In my defense, you helped in the wreckage.” Pidge scooted closer to him. She wrinkled her nose as she leaned in to kiss him. “You stink.” 

“You got egg in my hair,” he pointed out. Pidge laughed and shrugged, running her fingers through her own matted hair. “Come on, the sink should be big enough to wash our hair out a bit.” He stood up and took her hand to help her up.

After managing to uncomfortably wash out their hair, they both put their hair up and wiped down what they could of their arms and faces. Their clothes would sadly remain until they got a change of clothes. 

Before Pidge could start helping him clean the kitchen, Hunk told her to wait and took out the polaroid camera she’d gotten him from his office. He took two pictures of the scene before putting the camera and the photos back in his office and getting back.

“Okay, now we can clean.” 

\--

Pidge planned on never again having a food fight in a big kitchen. It was ridiculously tedious to clean everything down. Even with Hunk’s playfulness as he twirled her around and hummed different songs while they cleaned up together, Pidge ended up feeling exhausted, and still pretty gross from the stickiness of her clothes. 

But it was a memory she would cherish forever. Hopefully it would be a memory to overlap one of the many horrible ones that contributed to restless nights. 

In the end, Hunk did make her a cake. He took over while she watched and sat on a counter, just like old times. Except this time, he took to passing time by providing Pidge with light kisses and gentle nose bumps and sweet smiles. 

When the cakes were done and cooled, Hunk went back into baker mode and began cutting the tops off before layering the cake. Pidge took to eating the pieces he cut off as he blocked her from seeing what he was decorating it with. 

She could only see the Hunch of his shoulders, the slow, patient movements as he worked. 

Finally he turned and presented her with her cake. 

It was decorated in green frosting with a pretty yellow honeysuckle bunch and two small bees. Pidge smiled as she looked at it and covered her mouth. “Hunk, this is so pretty!” 

“I would make you a much more intricate one like the ones on display, but you kept eating the scraps so I knew I had to feed you.” 

Pidge scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I love it,” she said. 

Hunk smiled and cut her a slice. “Try it.” Pidge took the slice and ate a forkful, sighing contentedly. “Good?” Pidge nodded, stuffing her face with more cake. Hunk laughed wiped some of the frosting from her lower lip. “I’m glad you like it, honeybee.” 

Pidge set the cake aside and took Hunk’s hands in her own as he leaned in to give her a soft kiss. “I’m really glad I’m here with you,” she whispered. “And I’m so sorry about all that stupid stuff I’d say on the phone about you meeting someone new. Now that I’m here with you, it just feels so stupid-”

“Hey,” he said, cupping her face. “You’re not stupid, Pidge. I get why you said that, and I get why you worry. And the people that think we can’t make this work have no idea what we’ve already been through. I know you like to plan everything out and think of every possible scenario, so I really do get it, Pidge. Just….” He pressed her hand up to his lips. “I need to know you believe me when I tell you I won’t ever do anything to hurt you.” 

Pidge smiled and nodded. “I believe you. I love you.” Hunk’s lips parted slightly before curling into a smile. 

“You mean that?” 

Pidge bit her lip. Saying it made her feel lighter. Everything she felt in response to Hunk, every wild butterfly, every giddy laugh, and every moment of peace…. This was what they all amounted to. To this unfiltered love she hadn’t even realized she’d been nurturing for so long already. 

“Yeah,” she breathed.

Hunk smiled and kissed her again before whispering, “ _ Oute alofa ia te oe.”  _

Pidge furrowed her eyebrows. “You’ve said that before, haven’t you?” Hunk’s smile grew wider. “Wait. No.” He chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. “I can’t believe you told me you loved me and I didn’t even realize it.” 

Hunk touched her cheek lightly, looking at her with soft, big, brown eyes that made her feel like she was the most important person on the planet. And maybe to him she was for that moment. 

“Okay, as much as I would like to keep kissing you, we need to get a change of clothes because they’re really starting to smell,” he said, pulling her off the counter. Pidge sniffed her sweater and grimaced. “I’ll put this in a box and we can take it back. We should also probably get some actual food.” 

“I’ll call Lance and see if he wants anything. He said he was feeling sick.” 

Hunk busied himself with putting the cake up, and Pidge followed him to his car as she dialed Lance. 

“Hey, what’s up?” he answered. He sounded… flustered. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

Pidge hummed. “How are you feeling?” 

“Um. Tired.” 

“Well, are you hungry?” 

“Yeah, actually I was about to order Thai. You coming over?” 

“Yep. Hunk’s with me, he closed up early.” She looked over at Hunk. “Lance is ordering Thai.” 

“Tell him he’d better be using his own card this time.” 

Pidge laughed and relayed the information to Lance. 

“Wa-wha-huh? -idge? You- cutting ou- guess you’re going through a tunnel, bye!”

“We’re not-” He hung up and Pidge stared at the phone. “That was a horrible impression of a broken call.” In the driver’s seat, Hunk groaned and shook his head. 

When they got home, the Thai food was already there and Lance was stuffing his face with rice at the table. “You’re paying my next bill, man,” Hunk said as he grabbed an eggroll. 

“What the hell happened to you two and why do you smell like a dairy aisle?” Lance responded through a mouthful of food. 

“Food fight,” Pidge said. Lance nodded and furrowed his eyebrows as they went into Hunk’s room. Hunk lended her some drawstring shorts and a hoodie. She went into the bathroom to change and once they were both in clothes that didn’t smell, they joined Lance at the table. 

“Pidge said you were sick,” Hunk said. He looked at him and put a hand to his forehead. “You don’t feel warm. What’s wrong?” 

Lance looked at them, stuffing more food in his mouth. Then he said, “I’m heart sick. I have a broken heart.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Pidge answered in exasperation. “What are you talking about?” 

“Being heartbroken totally counts as being sick, Katie.” Lance stuck his tongue out at her and Hunk chuckled at his expense. 

“Alright, well who broke your heart?” 

This time, the light playfulness in Lance’s eyes dimmed a bit and he opened his laptop. “It’s not….” He sighed and took a breath. “I found Keith.” 

“ _ What?”  _

Lance ran a hand through his hair and hugged his food closer. “Not like in real life, and not like… to where I can contact him. I just….” He turned the laptop and Pidge and Hunk leaned forward to see the screen better. 

All she saw was a variety of photos from different places, different countries. “Uh?” 

Lance rolled his eyes and scrolled, clicking on an album. This one had what looked like a silhouette standing somewhere with a pretty mountain backdrop covered in fog and a soft blue sky. There was a caption on the bottom that said,  _ I see you in every sky.  _ Lance clicked through the album. Each photo had a silhouette which Pidge assumed was Keith against a pretty scene whether it was cobblestone roads, between clotheslines in what looked like some ethereal field, or blending into the silhouettes of trees. Each photo had different captions that seemed too vague to pertain to the photo itself like  _ I wanted to believe, Has time erased the love from your life?, The stars are nothing in comparison to your galaxy.  _

“How do you know it’s him?” Hunk asked. The silhouette never had any actual features. Short hair, a lithe posture, and various clothes for the weather. It wasn’t like Keith was still wearing his red crop jacket or still sporting a stylized mullet anymore. 

Lance scrolled all the way down and clicked the “about” button. It led to a resume style page with a portrait photo of someone who was undeniably Keith. The burn scar was still prominent on his right cheek and Pidge had yet to meet anyone with the same lavender eyes. His hair was much shorter than the last time she’d seen him, but he was still all angles and sharp edges. He was holding one of those fancy cameras, but his expression remained somber. He could’ve been a model, and Pidge found ironic that he preferred to be behind the camera. 

“Oh my God,” Hunk breathed. 

“Apparently he’s traveled to major cities already and started taking to finding the lesser known villages and small corners of the world to photograph them and make them known. I don’t really know what the captions are for, I can’t tell if it’s a story or not, but… yeah. He’s a fucking photographer somewhere out in the world.” 

“How did you find this?” 

Lance blushed slightly. “I Googled him. I went through a bunch of Facebook and Instagram profiles with the same name before I found one that talked about a photograph website. I didn’t think it’d be him, and I almost gave up, but I figured what if? And it was him.” 

Pidge looked at Hunk and then back at the screen before looking at Lance. “Are you going to try to find him? Contact him?” 

Lance shoveled food into his mouth again and huffed. “There’s no contact information on there. It doesn’t even say where he’s at right now. And there’s no actual personal bios, just explanations of the project and the captions on the photos.” 

“Yeah, that sounds like Keith,” Hunk said. “Do you  _ want  _ to find a way to contact him?” 

Lance stirred his rice and Pidge noticed Leon trot a little closer, curling by his legs. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “I mean… he’s doing what he wants, right? He’s seeing the world. I’m in New York and after all this time, it’s not like we can just…. What if he found someone already? Someone who travels with him and takes his pictures and he takes their pictures and….” Lance shook his head. “We already had our story. And it’s over. If he doesn’t have any contact information, it’s because he doesn’t want to be contacted.” He put the food on the table and groaned, placing his face in his hands. “It’s been so long and all of these feelings are just flooding back. I don’t even know what to do about them. All that love and the hurt and the sadness and the nostalgia it’s all just… back.” 

“That’s normal, man,” Hunk said, scooting his chair closer to Lance to put a hand on his shoulder. “You guys were still in love when you broke it off. Most people who break up see it coming or at least there’s a reason that you can’t go back from. You guys ended it because you were both taking different paths. You didn’t stop loving him.” 

“What if he did?” 

Pidge furrowed her eyebrows, her heart breaking with the amount of pain in Lance’s voice. Hunk brought him into a hug and Leon stood on his hind legs to paw at Lance’s arm. Lance sighed and looked at Leon, petting him gently. “I think I’m gonna take a nap. I was up all night obsessing over that website, and now I’ve eaten most of my feelings, so…. Can I use your bed?” Hunk nodded and Lance shut his laptop before heading off to Hunk’s room. 

As soon as the door shut, Pidge looked at Hunk. “Can I see your laptop?” 

Hunk frowned, but got up to bring her the laptop. She turned it on and searched the website, happy to see that Hunk already had the same software she’d downloaded on her own computer for occasional hacking. “What are you doing?” he asked, leaning over to look over her shoulder. 

“I’m figuring out where Keith’s at.” 

“What?” 

Pidge used the pictures to trace the locations, finding places she’d never even known existed. Keith had really gone into the most obscure places. 

“Honeycomb, he could be anywhere at this point, finding the photo locations won’t- is that a government website?” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” she answered. 

“In a few years, I’m gonna be visiting you in a federal prison, aren’t I?” 

“Bold of you to assume I’ll get caught. I’m offended.” 

“Well- whoa, what the hell?” Pidge had managed to pull up a file on Keith. “How…?”

“We were paladins. We fought aliens. You think the government isn’t keeping tabs on us?” Hunk grabbed his food and pulled his chair to sit closer to Pidge as she scrolled. “Jesus Christ. He’s been to over 100 countries. And even more cities and towns.” 

“Is that his permanent address?” 

“It’s what’s listed, but he hasn’t been there in over a year,” she muttered under her breath. 

“This is borderline stalking.” 

Pidge looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. “Everything we’ve been through, you’re drawing the line at this?” 

Hunk laughed and shook his head. “Absolutely not. My girl’s a fucking genius.” Pidge winked and returned to the screen. “What about a phone number?” 

“There’s a house phone listed. No cellphone. God, why is he a real life cryptid, what the fuck?” 

“Maybe Lance is right. Maybe he doesn’t want to be found. He doesn’t have any family on Earth, there’s no one for him to stay in contact with.” 

“ _ We  _ were his family! We spent all that time together, building relationships, fighting a war, and we created our own family. We all wanted to be found, you, me, Lance. Keith does too.” Her fingers flew over the keys almost maniacally. “There. If a former paladin is traveling, you can count on our government following them. He last made it to… Attu island.” 

“Holy shit. You actually found him.” 

“Why do you sound so surprised?” 

“I mean I knew you would, just not that fast.” Pidge shrugged. There was a beat of silence, where they both stared at the name of the island on the screen. “Lance doesn’t even know if he wants to contact him though. I don’t think you should tell him yet. Let him sort out what he’s feeling.” 

Pidge took a breath and eventually resigned, nodding her head and exiting the site. But she made a note in her phone of Keith’s website before finally dropping the subject fully. 

Hunk wrapped an arm around her. They finished their food in silence, Pidge leaning against Hunk as they both tried to let all the new information sink in. 

It was strange to believe that just a few hours ago, she had told Hunk she loved him for the first time. It was a moment she thought would have been big and dramatic, probably said in front of the Bellagio, and honestly, said by Hunk first. Of course, he did say it first, but she didn’t know that. 

Now she was reeling with the fact that Lance had managed to find Keith. It was concerning that he was so hung up on finding him that he managed it, but… Pidge was the one hacking government files for information. And now they knew where he was. 

Maybe it was the fact that she didn’t have much of her blood family left. All she had was Matt. The prospect of getting her space family back together felt like a necessity. To get them all back in her life, to build that support they should have been for each other from the start. 

But Hunk was right. Shiro had gone under the radar with some work for the Garrison, and Keith obviously didn’t want anyone contacting him. She wondered if they missed each other. They’d been practically brothers after all. She wondered if Keith had been living through acquaintances this entire time. Five years bouncing from place to place… it couldn’t have given him time for friends, much less a relationship as Lance feared. She wondered if Shiro was okay, and if she could maybe bring herself to go back to the Garrison, if only to see him again. 

Then she began to wonder about Allura and Coran. If they had rebuilt their lives, if they remembered the paladins, if Allura ever thought of them or if Coran still called her Number Five when or if he ever talked about her. 

And suddenly she was crying. She hated how often she was starting to do that, and ever since Matt pointed it out, she realized it really did happen more when she wasn’t at school. In a way it made sense because at school she wasn’t surrounded by reminders or talking about the memories. But she also didn’t want it to be a bad thing because she loved being with Hunk and Lance and Matt. She was creating new memories with them. 

“Oh, Pidge, come here,” Hunk murmured, pulling her from the chair and taking her to the couch where he could properly cuddle her. 

“I miss them so much,” she whispered, wiping her eyes and trying to force herself to stop crying. She’d never cried this much even as a teen in a war. It was ridiculous. 

“I know. I miss them too.” Hunk scratched her head soothingly, bringing her in closer. “We’re always going to hold on to pieces from our past. And honestly, knowing Keith? It seems like he’s been running from it. It won’t be long before he has to face it. For all we know, he’s just as strung up on Lance as Lance is on him.” 

“How did we all make things so difficult for ourselves? We should have stuck together.” 

“We all needed different things, Pidge. We just have to take it step by step.” She nodded and held onto him tighter, letting the rise and fall of his chest soothe her. “Hey.” She looked up at him. “I love you.” 

Pidge smiled and bit her lip. “That’s the first time you’ve said it in English,” she whispered. He smiled at her. “I love you too.” 

He pressed a kiss to both of her eyelids before kissing her lips. He cupped her face with large hands that cradled her gently, like she was fragile. She loved how safe she felt when he did that. How adored she felt because of it. She loved Hunk. 

**

“Got your passport?” Pidge nodded. “Your chargers, laptop, phone?” Pidge nodded. “Do you have snacks for the flight, I know it’s a long plane ride. Here, I got you some chocolate covered pretzels and-”

“Matt, I’ll be okay,” Pidge said with a laugh. “It’s not the first time I leave.” 

“I know, but the next time I see you, it’ll be for your graduation. It’s kind of freaking me out.” 

“Yeah, well once I graduate, you’ll get sick of me because I’ll be living with you.” 

Matt rolled his eyes and pulled her into a hug. She returned it just as tightly. When she pulled away, he was giving her the bag of pretzels which made her laugh. “Tell me when you land, okay?” She nodded. Matt turned to Lance. “You stay in touch with me. Spent a whole war without hardly a word to each other and now-”

“We’re practically giving these two a free comedy improv show,” Lance said with a laugh. “Yeah, I was a little naive as a kid. I’ll stay in touch.” Lance turned to Hunk giving him a hug and a thank you for letting him stay before pulling away. 

Pidge walked over to Hunk and smiled as she thought of the last time she’d been in this airport with him. How close she’d been to kissing him, only to chicken out. It was funny to think about now. 

“I love you,” Hunk murmured into her hair as he hugged her. “You’re gonna kick ass in your classes, and I’ll see you for your graduation, okay?” She nodded and got on her toes, pulling him into a kiss. 

“I love you. I’ll call when I get home, okay?” Hunk nodded and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. 

“Ready?” Lance asked. She nodded and they walked over to the person checking tickets. Hunk and Matt stayed until they’d gone through the doors. 

After getting through all the tedious routines, they boarded the plane. Once take off started, Pidge focused on breathing and staying calm against the rumbling and slight shudder of the plane. She felt Lance take her hand and squeeze it. 

Strangely, that helped her relax a little more. Especially since he wasn’t looking at her. He’d just taken her hand and held it tightly, giving her something to tether herself with. Leon also poked his head out from under Lance’s feet, placing his head on her lap. Soon enough, the plane leveled out and the shuddering stopped. 

She loosened her grip on Lance’s hand and he let go. “I wonder when the drink cart is gonna come. I’m craving a soda.” Pidge smiled. 

\--

Lance flight from Massachusetts to New York wasn’t for another four hours, so he took her home and made sure she was stocked up on food to survive before they split a pizza. It was very little time before Lance had to get back to the airport. 

Before going through the next goodbye, Pidge knew she had to tell him about Keith. But maybe not all once. Or maybe not everything. 

“Hey, so about the website….” 

What webs- oh. Yeah, what about it?” 

Pidge bit her lip and shrugged. “I’m the girl that hacked into Garrison files and tricked them into thinking I was a boy for a year. I also decoded alien communication and coded upgrades into Altean castle defenses.” Lance stared at her, his eyebrows furrowed. She sighed. “I’m pretty sure I could figure out where Keith’s at so you could try and contact him…. If that’s something you wanted to do.” 

“Oh. Oh God.” Lance chuckled awkwardly. “I don’t wanna ask that of-”

“Lance, you’ve helped me a lot too. You’re one of my best friends, practically another brother. I’m good at hacking and tech. So if you want my help, just ask. Think it over, you don’t need to tell me now. I just wanted you to know it was an option.” 

Lance smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Pidge. I gotta sort my head out a bit, but… I’ll keep it in mind.” He hugged her tightly and added, “Good luck with the rest of school. Feel free to visit me in New York if you ever have a long weekend, okay? I can drive down, it’s not that bad of a drive.” 

She laughed and nodded. “Okay. Let me know when you get home, okay?” He nodded and whistled for Leon so he could put his leash on. Pidge stayed at the door, watching as he got into the Uber and staying until the car disappeared down the street. 


End file.
